(no subject)
Well, it's been awhile since I posted, huh? Actually, I've posted several times, but they've been 'eyes only', so I didn't realize how long it's been since I reached out and said hello to everyone. I've commented some, and sometimes not, just depending on my mood. I've been reading SGA mostly, and recently read my first Harry Potter fanfic. (Cambiare Podentes 1&2 by Jordan Grant at The Archive at the End of the Universe -I highly rec it, if you like HP and slash and sensual writing and 600 pages *each* part.) But though I mostly only read completed fic in SGA, I have several BTVS WIP's that I'm keeping up with, including Pivotal and Most Favored and Nothing the Same.
Life is sorta rough at the moment, combination of financial and personal things that have all combined to make me depressed. Fall is my favorite time of year and this year it seemed to go from summer to winter in 2-3 weeks, I think that is contributing to my depression.
Mostly its me and my daughter that is making me crazy. She's 16 and determined to go her own way. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I can't just tell her what to do anymore. It's easy to say that yep, she's old enough to have a say in how she does things, a whole 'nother sack of taters to live with it. Walk that tightrope between being her friend and being her mom. I've always told her that if she decided to have sex she could come to me and I'd make sure she was on birth control. So what does the little wench *do* but come to me a few days ago and say 'I want to go on birth control, just in case.' Oh, oh, oh, my hurting heart. I mean, we've talked. I've told her about sex and oral sex and masturbating and made it clear that waiting is the best choice. But, I've also told her it was her choice, and I just want her to be safe and responsible. So here she is being *safe and responsible* and I'm just wanting to burst into tears. She's not ready, (and I say that knowing that *I'm* not ready for her to either) besides the fact that she's only 16, she's just not ready to handle *sex*. But I've said my peace on the subject, and now I have to put up or shut up, or never be trusted again. AAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I'm still working on my little story, I've opened a community and I'm posting parts there. I'm going to have people pre-read and tell me if it totally sucks or not, after I get it betaed. Make that 'after I finish the damn thing'! But putting it in it's own com kinda makes me want to work on it, I can't stand wip's that never get finished,so maybe I can motivate myself. The story is in my head, I just have to get it on the paper. And I've got the beginning and end, but some parts in the middle need uh, me to think about them.
And for some reason last week's SGA episode has totally inspired me (even though it *sucked*, and I want someone to write me fic with *Mckay* being kidnapped instead of Sheppard. But I got a funny feeling I'm going to end up writing something about it. (Damn it)
So, I'm still here, just depressed as hell and wishing my little girl was still a little girl. I'm so glad there are people out there writing such great stuff and putting it online. It's really saved my sanity lately.
Life is sorta rough at the moment, combination of financial and personal things that have all combined to make me depressed. Fall is my favorite time of year and this year it seemed to go from summer to winter in 2-3 weeks, I think that is contributing to my depression.
Mostly its me and my daughter that is making me crazy. She's 16 and determined to go her own way. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I can't just tell her what to do anymore. It's easy to say that yep, she's old enough to have a say in how she does things, a whole 'nother sack of taters to live with it. Walk that tightrope between being her friend and being her mom. I've always told her that if she decided to have sex she could come to me and I'd make sure she was on birth control. So what does the little wench *do* but come to me a few days ago and say 'I want to go on birth control, just in case.' Oh, oh, oh, my hurting heart. I mean, we've talked. I've told her about sex and oral sex and masturbating and made it clear that waiting is the best choice. But, I've also told her it was her choice, and I just want her to be safe and responsible. So here she is being *safe and responsible* and I'm just wanting to burst into tears. She's not ready, (and I say that knowing that *I'm* not ready for her to either) besides the fact that she's only 16, she's just not ready to handle *sex*. But I've said my peace on the subject, and now I have to put up or shut up, or never be trusted again. AAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I'm still working on my little story, I've opened a community and I'm posting parts there. I'm going to have people pre-read and tell me if it totally sucks or not, after I get it betaed. Make that 'after I finish the damn thing'! But putting it in it's own com kinda makes me want to work on it, I can't stand wip's that never get finished,so maybe I can motivate myself. The story is in my head, I just have to get it on the paper. And I've got the beginning and end, but some parts in the middle need uh, me to think about them.
And for some reason last week's SGA episode has totally inspired me (even though it *sucked*, and I want someone to write me fic with *Mckay* being kidnapped instead of Sheppard. But I got a funny feeling I'm going to end up writing something about it. (Damn it)
So, I'm still here, just depressed as hell and wishing my little girl was still a little girl. I'm so glad there are people out there writing such great stuff and putting it online. It's really saved my sanity lately.