this is gonna sound really stalker-ish
You know i thought that i would be just fine with him not liking me but everytime i see him i just wanna cry. i mean really we would be perfect for each other, i'm not the only one that sees this, he's like the only one. now i have to just act like i'm not intersted, even though i totally am. now i'm over hear all by myself listening to sad dump songs when no one ever even got dumped. One day he'll see, but it's this damn hopefull attitude that gets me nowhere but the bottem, i don't know what to do. I don't cry over boys, well except for Jake, but that was diffrent. But he has me crying, i DO NOT cry over boys, but seriously he's making me, he doesn't even know how much the simple no, just friends hurt. Maybe this is what i get get for always saying no. like Matt, i didn't even hesitate it was just NO. maybe things will change though i doubt it. I think that he's even mad at me. How stupid is that. He is breaking my heart. I'm starting to hate him for this, it's that love that you love to hate. I hate that. I know that i should just move on, but i can't. he's not even the type i usally go for. Blonde curly hair, blue eyes, he's actually kind of chubby, he like the Ramones and Death Cab For Cutie. I mean come on. he plays tennis and LaCrosse. And he's laid back. He is perfect for me. and i actually like him for what people don't usally like, he's stupid, hes smart but he does dumb things, like me. Well i'm just gonna wait, even though i shouldn't. I'll listen to AFI, Dashboard Confessional, Hawthorne Heights, and other heartbreakingly good songs that just prove that there is music that fits everymood. Even one's where you want to die because of a boy's inability to love, whatever thats just me though. I have like no good luck at all. Its like bad luck follows me. O well AFI is making me happier right now. Hey Ms murder can i? Make beauty stay if i take me like away!???!! no i can not make him stay even if i take my like away.
Okay well i'm done for know.
Bye, i'm gonna cry myself to sleep now.