Well..
Schools out, and has been for about 3 weeks...It is going by WAY too fast.
But Atleast It will be my senior year.
Anyways..I went shopping yesterday and bought alot of stuff, I hadn't been in a long time.
I got a purse, bracelet, ring, jewlery holder, some silver and black nail polish, shoes, face stuff, lotion, eyeshadow, body mouse shimmer, and some other awesome stuff.
And yeah...it was great.
I am just so depressed...I feel like im going through a midlife crisis even though im only 17.
I want my life to start.
I want this last year of HS to be over, I want what i want in life and its not staying in this town :(
I want to move to LA, and be somebody.
I want to be famous
have an album
tour the world
perform everywhere possible
make music videos
do early morning reheasals
wake up bright and early in the morning feeling cranky and sick and stillhave to do a performance..
i know theres good, and there is bad..and I would sacrifice almost anything to get it.
I feel i was meant to do it, and I pray everynight for it.
yes i dont know the right people and yes i dont live in a big city.
but its my one and only dream i have had my own life and i feel like im slowly just breaking down because i feel like I need it so much.
fuck the money, I want to have the oppurtunity to touch peoples lives and make people feel good to music.
I fear of not getting it.
I cant take the subject being a "lame dream" to everyone i know
i cant take the "u wouldnt be able to handle it" comments anymore
i need this
I want it so bad. SO bad.
can someone please tell me how a dream i am so passionate about sometimes seems so far away from my reach when i have dreamed and hoped and prayed for it everyday
It's all i think about, i honestly sometimes feel, I cant live without it even though i have never had it.
i want it so bad, its becoming not a want thing anymore but NEED.
I crave it. i want it, and i feel its a NEED in my life.
I dont want to be a doctor, get married, have kids, live the al american life, i want to be famous, i want to sing, i was to sing all day and all night
record as many songs as i can, and write and inspire and touch people
not use it to my advantage to party, and know the big shots.
I know what i want and i want it NOW.
I just dont know where to start and no one believes in my and it HURTS.
and if u are reading this now, you dont know me, u think u may know a little about me, but you dont.
the best way i feel i could epress myself it through the lyrics and songs i have written and one day i hope it will be heard.
It's my dream and its a powerful feeling to want something so bad.
ever since u were 6 years old.
its hard to think about it never happening.
hard to think about everyone being right.
hard to think about the regret when im old and never got it done.
I will keep trying and praying for oppurunitys and hopefully one day i will be able to read this again later in life and not feel this way anymore and FINALLY have it.
<3
But Atleast It will be my senior year.
Anyways..I went shopping yesterday and bought alot of stuff, I hadn't been in a long time.
I got a purse, bracelet, ring, jewlery holder, some silver and black nail polish, shoes, face stuff, lotion, eyeshadow, body mouse shimmer, and some other awesome stuff.
And yeah...it was great.
I am just so depressed...I feel like im going through a midlife crisis even though im only 17.
I want my life to start.
I want this last year of HS to be over, I want what i want in life and its not staying in this town :(
I want to move to LA, and be somebody.
I want to be famous
have an album
tour the world
perform everywhere possible
make music videos
do early morning reheasals
wake up bright and early in the morning feeling cranky and sick and stillhave to do a performance..
i know theres good, and there is bad..and I would sacrifice almost anything to get it.
I feel i was meant to do it, and I pray everynight for it.
yes i dont know the right people and yes i dont live in a big city.
but its my one and only dream i have had my own life and i feel like im slowly just breaking down because i feel like I need it so much.
fuck the money, I want to have the oppurtunity to touch peoples lives and make people feel good to music.
I fear of not getting it.
I cant take the subject being a "lame dream" to everyone i know
i cant take the "u wouldnt be able to handle it" comments anymore
i need this
I want it so bad. SO bad.
can someone please tell me how a dream i am so passionate about sometimes seems so far away from my reach when i have dreamed and hoped and prayed for it everyday
It's all i think about, i honestly sometimes feel, I cant live without it even though i have never had it.
i want it so bad, its becoming not a want thing anymore but NEED.
I crave it. i want it, and i feel its a NEED in my life.
I dont want to be a doctor, get married, have kids, live the al american life, i want to be famous, i want to sing, i was to sing all day and all night
record as many songs as i can, and write and inspire and touch people
not use it to my advantage to party, and know the big shots.
I know what i want and i want it NOW.
I just dont know where to start and no one believes in my and it HURTS.
and if u are reading this now, you dont know me, u think u may know a little about me, but you dont.
the best way i feel i could epress myself it through the lyrics and songs i have written and one day i hope it will be heard.
It's my dream and its a powerful feeling to want something so bad.
ever since u were 6 years old.
its hard to think about it never happening.
hard to think about everyone being right.
hard to think about the regret when im old and never got it done.
I will keep trying and praying for oppurunitys and hopefully one day i will be able to read this again later in life and not feel this way anymore and FINALLY have it.
<3