it just keeps getting worse.

[i_love_theoc]

turns out i am not going to gulfport OR florida..though i would love to i cant..plans changed and now my weekend sucks...and i dont have the energy to explain to my few friends why I didn't end up going when i return to school. i honestly don't want to go to school at all im going to try and skip as many days as possible..i was thinking-i really hate it here..or in lafayette since im in baton rouge right now but either way i hate it tremendously. i miss my home, my life, my REAL friends, my town, everything.. i was watching laguna beach the other day and they were all graduating with their best freinds that they have known forever and i thought to myself-i am not going to ever get to graduate with my best friends or the people i love..when that day comes it will be even more depressing bc of the fact i have noone to say goodbye to because i already have said goodbye to everyone i love..and there could be a silver lining if you look at it as the that fact i wont have to say goodbye again..but then i see all these people around me with best friends..and well i dont have that..i did but i dont anymore and i dont think i will ever have better friends than lindy and sarah..i didnt think it would be this hard to be away from them this long bc i can be independent without them but life just isnt as fun..and duh they still are my best friends ever and cant ever be replaced but i never get to see them..gawd i hope miami has a lot of good things in store for me..i think the only thing thats keeping me sane, honestly, is nick bailey...i like him so much and i dont think he knows how much he means to me..i should tell him..i want to tell him everything but he has a life other than me and i have to get that through..i dont blame him either..i HAD a life too..i totally understand and i want him to be happy..i dunno i guess the only person ill really miss when i leave here is him..man i really want to be his girlfriend too i hope he asks me out.
well im off to see saw2..later.