(no subject)
I want to get everything out of the way. I want to change everything that is chaining me down to this lifestyle. Keep them people, keep me, but change everything around me. I want to change my room, entirely. Just give myself a fresh start. I place of recluse. That is a place I remember of good times, gone bad. I want it changed. Bed somewhere else, everything somewhere else. Then I will graduate, and then I will move out. A job will come my way. And I want everything to change.
Sometimes I think what could have happened if I was just a year older. I never regretted my age, I never let it get in the way...other people let it get in the way. Sometime I wish I could change my height, but I like my height, I like my look. Sometimes I wish I had never let my hair do what it wanted to have done to it...but I can't help that. And really, it's silly how something so unimportant could take me so far. I hate the small things that change the world, they're hard to understand and hard to pin point. you can accuse everything for a single change, for a lost love, for a new friendship. I wish I could learn to control that...but I know that as soon as I learned how to control it, I wouldn't know what to change...what to do. OH GAH GAH GAH! I just want some meaning in my life. The summer is gorgeous, but it always did leave me feeling lazy and unproductive. I think I'll start building things, I need to enertai myself, and feel useful.
I want to feel like a different person so that nobody would ever have to fall in love with this one. So that everything actaully could start fresh. But that won't happen, I will live with the lack of mistakes I made. And the amount I did make... OH RANTING! How I ruv ru.
Sometimes I think what could have happened if I was just a year older. I never regretted my age, I never let it get in the way...other people let it get in the way. Sometime I wish I could change my height, but I like my height, I like my look. Sometimes I wish I had never let my hair do what it wanted to have done to it...but I can't help that. And really, it's silly how something so unimportant could take me so far. I hate the small things that change the world, they're hard to understand and hard to pin point. you can accuse everything for a single change, for a lost love, for a new friendship. I wish I could learn to control that...but I know that as soon as I learned how to control it, I wouldn't know what to change...what to do. OH GAH GAH GAH! I just want some meaning in my life. The summer is gorgeous, but it always did leave me feeling lazy and unproductive. I think I'll start building things, I need to enertai myself, and feel useful.
I want to feel like a different person so that nobody would ever have to fall in love with this one. So that everything actaully could start fresh. But that won't happen, I will live with the lack of mistakes I made. And the amount I did make... OH RANTING! How I ruv ru.