(no subject)

[i_love_leo]

drunk alone again
and you wonder how did you get here
and do you like it
and when will you not be alone

I thought lightly
some worry
mostly softer things
like when will I be tired
and is anyone thinking of me
maybe these things aren't soft at all

these days it's all empty
like I haven't done a thing
and one or two month from now
everyone will be looking at me
like, "so where is the world?"
and my answer might be short
but I hope it's not

still
I find laze on these nights
spend hours unproductive
avoiding all the things
I have to write and read and plan
because ignoring is so much simpler
and it hurts to try
to try to be more than you are
and wonder if it might be for nothing
and listen to your roommate in the next room
kissing and cuddling
with a man who believes in jesus
and wishing you wanted that too

drunk alone again
and not even texting
can save you