We have to laugh just to look at each other.
Love, love, lalalalalove. Is that all anyone cares about anymore? And not the real stuff, not the head over heels, I want to know why you hate the scent of lemon, and the way you like your coffee love, more like, hey this friday night I've got nothing to do, and maybe if you're a good enough fuck you can stick around for the next couple friday nights too - kind of love.
Our lives, even as young people, have become about who we've dated. If you were ask me to tell you my life story it would go something like this, "well when I was little this, this and this happened, then I did a shit ton of drugs, met Richie, there were a few people in between here, and then another Richie, and a couple people here, and I topped it off with tyler". My life, my mind, OUR LIVES, OUR MINDS, are so much more then the carelessly strung about relationships we chose to sum ourselves up with. There's what you do when you're alone, the books you read, the animals you care for, the clothes you wear, the sun in the morning through the blinds that haven't been dusted for years, music, oh god is there music. For some of my friends they've always known this, and have even tried teaching me, I suppose it just took a hit of fresh air, ha, or a few months of it, now.
We are all animals. We live off of basic needs. Food. Water. Shelter. and Love (or need). If we were not TAUGHT right from wrong we would be all over each other, screaming "hey baby you want to fuck?" would not be offensive. Let's face it, everyone likes to get off. We all like to feel good, needed, satisfied. Also, As humans we need to create other humans (eventually). As young people we try to scramble sex in with the huge choas of love, friendship and intimacy and with as much alcohol and drugs we (most of my close friends) inhale it's probably the most self destructive thing we could possibly do. Sleeping with someone on a friday night doesn't mean you're in love, or even that you're compatiable, it means you both got horny and fucked. End of story.
Don't get me wrong, I've been in love, so in love that it makes me sick, or cry because I'm happy and the Beatles came on at the perfect moment, or so in love that the cops break down my bathroom door and I'm screaming for you. The crazy, the soft, the cute, the passionate, the dangerous kinds of love.
But
I have been the shovel for most people that I know. Digging their insides out, showing them the truth, dragging them along, helping, listening, digging, digging. I am fucking nineteen years old, I plan to devote my life to helping people find out who they are, I wont have another chance to do it myself, unless I do it now. Love shouldn't be some make believe "oh we both like the same bands and it's easy because our friends know each other" - bullshit. At the end of the day it should be that that person, because they are that person amazes you. I want that, I want someone to dig into me. But I am alone. And we are alone.
I am my only discoverer.
Our lives, even as young people, have become about who we've dated. If you were ask me to tell you my life story it would go something like this, "well when I was little this, this and this happened, then I did a shit ton of drugs, met Richie, there were a few people in between here, and then another Richie, and a couple people here, and I topped it off with tyler". My life, my mind, OUR LIVES, OUR MINDS, are so much more then the carelessly strung about relationships we chose to sum ourselves up with. There's what you do when you're alone, the books you read, the animals you care for, the clothes you wear, the sun in the morning through the blinds that haven't been dusted for years, music, oh god is there music. For some of my friends they've always known this, and have even tried teaching me, I suppose it just took a hit of fresh air, ha, or a few months of it, now.
We are all animals. We live off of basic needs. Food. Water. Shelter. and Love (or need). If we were not TAUGHT right from wrong we would be all over each other, screaming "hey baby you want to fuck?" would not be offensive. Let's face it, everyone likes to get off. We all like to feel good, needed, satisfied. Also, As humans we need to create other humans (eventually). As young people we try to scramble sex in with the huge choas of love, friendship and intimacy and with as much alcohol and drugs we (most of my close friends) inhale it's probably the most self destructive thing we could possibly do. Sleeping with someone on a friday night doesn't mean you're in love, or even that you're compatiable, it means you both got horny and fucked. End of story.
Don't get me wrong, I've been in love, so in love that it makes me sick, or cry because I'm happy and the Beatles came on at the perfect moment, or so in love that the cops break down my bathroom door and I'm screaming for you. The crazy, the soft, the cute, the passionate, the dangerous kinds of love.
But
I have been the shovel for most people that I know. Digging their insides out, showing them the truth, dragging them along, helping, listening, digging, digging. I am fucking nineteen years old, I plan to devote my life to helping people find out who they are, I wont have another chance to do it myself, unless I do it now. Love shouldn't be some make believe "oh we both like the same bands and it's easy because our friends know each other" - bullshit. At the end of the day it should be that that person, because they are that person amazes you. I want that, I want someone to dig into me. But I am alone. And we are alone.
I am my only discoverer.