all that she'd ever need wasn't within me.
when the going gets rough.
so i am here thinking to myself why is it so hard to forget myself. i hate this guilty feeling i have deep down inside. the longer i go without seeing her the more i feel like i can't remember her. can't remember what she feels like, looks like, tastes like... and my mind creeps onto other things less tangible to the heart strings and more closer to the curiosity of life. i'm wondering what it would be like to have all the things i've been missing. kissing. holding hands. random visits complete with coffee and cigarettes. i've been saving myself for you for so long ... and for what? you hardly ever let me touch you. when i call it's like the sound of my voice wouldn't matter to you all that much. it's like the world handed you a bag of rocks and you swallowed each one with a sense of defeated pride. you don't know what you're going to do next and you'd rather just lock yourself up and never find out. i'm sorry. but lately i've been wanting to live a little more happily. i want a girlfriend who will love me as much i love them. i want a girlfriend who won't make let me wonder about another kind of life. i want a girlfriend who will need me and love me and want me so much it kills them inside. you use to feel like that. where did it go? when did our story go from good to bad? i want to make a change but i can't when you won't let me start.
at first sight you were so beautiful.
i thought to myself. was this the girl? would she sweep me off my feet and show me that there is life beyond the one i am so use too? and you did. everything that i wished you to be you were and more. but now. that light has disapeared from you blue eyes and all i see is a defeat. i see my unloved reflection in your eyes and all i can do is wish that i were something else. i use to look at you and know that you were proud to be with me. that because you were with me anything anyone threw your way you'd be able to handle because of me.
now.
i'm trying but i just don't feel it anymore.
so i am here thinking to myself why is it so hard to forget myself. i hate this guilty feeling i have deep down inside. the longer i go without seeing her the more i feel like i can't remember her. can't remember what she feels like, looks like, tastes like... and my mind creeps onto other things less tangible to the heart strings and more closer to the curiosity of life. i'm wondering what it would be like to have all the things i've been missing. kissing. holding hands. random visits complete with coffee and cigarettes. i've been saving myself for you for so long ... and for what? you hardly ever let me touch you. when i call it's like the sound of my voice wouldn't matter to you all that much. it's like the world handed you a bag of rocks and you swallowed each one with a sense of defeated pride. you don't know what you're going to do next and you'd rather just lock yourself up and never find out. i'm sorry. but lately i've been wanting to live a little more happily. i want a girlfriend who will love me as much i love them. i want a girlfriend who won't make let me wonder about another kind of life. i want a girlfriend who will need me and love me and want me so much it kills them inside. you use to feel like that. where did it go? when did our story go from good to bad? i want to make a change but i can't when you won't let me start.
at first sight you were so beautiful.
i thought to myself. was this the girl? would she sweep me off my feet and show me that there is life beyond the one i am so use too? and you did. everything that i wished you to be you were and more. but now. that light has disapeared from you blue eyes and all i see is a defeat. i see my unloved reflection in your eyes and all i can do is wish that i were something else. i use to look at you and know that you were proud to be with me. that because you were with me anything anyone threw your way you'd be able to handle because of me.
now.
i'm trying but i just don't feel it anymore.