Fic: This is Killing Me 1/? [Will/Emma]
Emma Pillsbury had always been shy, and when she was upset, she tended to shut down. That's why it had suprised her, and everyone else in the room for that matter, when she had built up the confidence to stand up to Will earlier that day. Part of her was proud. It felt like she'd taken a step in the right direction, in moving forward. But it seemed hopeless now that her fairytale ending would ever come true. Will Schuester just wasn't the man she thought he was.
Or at least, that's how she'd felt until about 3 minutes ago when he'd shown up to her office with flowers in his hand and his heart on his sleeve.
She was afraid she'd give in too easily, so she'd told herself to be forceful, even cold, if she had to.
"Emma, th- this, this is killing me" He stuttered.
She wanted nothing more than to put him out of his misery. No matter what, she couldn't deny that she was still in love with him, and she didn't want to be alone anymore. But what did he expect? That flowers would fix everything? That they would make up for completely betraying her trust?
"I just ... I want you to look at me the way you used to." He continued.
The expression on his face was painful. Emma's heart was pounding.
'I still do.' She thought. 'Like I could ever help myself...'
"I can't." She replied, and cleared her throat nervously, avoiding eye contact.
"Emma, I...I know now that I need you, that I will never do anything to hurt you, ever again. That's why nothing happened with April-"
"Nothing happened?" She interrupted, and immediately regretted it, knowing it came out as desperate. "Sue said you slept together."
"Sue? That's who you heard it from?" He asked, trying not to smile.
Silence.
"And you trusted her?"
"I-" She started, but couldn't complete the thought. Had she really trusted Sue? But how could she not have? Will didn't deny her accusations during their...debacle in the teacher's lounge.
"Emma," He said, taking her hands in his, "I made out with Shelby once. And I ended it almost immediately because I knew then that I wanted you, and only you. And I told her that." Emma's heart threatened to leap out of her chest.
"And I did not have sex with April Rhodes." He continued. She flinched on the word 'sex'; sure, it was something she'd imagined - only with him, and only a couple times - but even inside her head it ended awkwardly. Like with her crying.
Everything had just changed so quickly. Was she angry that he made out with someone else? Compared to, um...intercourse, kissing didn't seem so bad. So many thoughts were darting back and forth inside her head. How could she feel so relieved, so happy, and yet so hesitant at the same time?
She noticed him eying her, anticipating her response.
"Yes." She said nervously, and could tell he was confused. She tried to regain her composure.
'Yes? Yes I am angry? Or yes, I forgive him? Say something! '
"Um...Thank you for the flowers." She said, indifferently. He shook his head, and the painful look on his face was enough to convince her of how sorry he was. As he stood up, she tried to think of something clever to say. She never could, not at the right moments.
"Will" She whispered, so quietly she barely heard herself speak. But he was out the door.
She could have called out his name. She could have run to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and never let go.
But she was Emma Pillsbury. And sometimes, she hated herself for it.
//
Comments? Suggestions? Appreciated =) Thanks for reading!
Or at least, that's how she'd felt until about 3 minutes ago when he'd shown up to her office with flowers in his hand and his heart on his sleeve.
She was afraid she'd give in too easily, so she'd told herself to be forceful, even cold, if she had to.
"Emma, th- this, this is killing me" He stuttered.
She wanted nothing more than to put him out of his misery. No matter what, she couldn't deny that she was still in love with him, and she didn't want to be alone anymore. But what did he expect? That flowers would fix everything? That they would make up for completely betraying her trust?
"I just ... I want you to look at me the way you used to." He continued.
The expression on his face was painful. Emma's heart was pounding.
'I still do.' She thought. 'Like I could ever help myself...'
"I can't." She replied, and cleared her throat nervously, avoiding eye contact.
"Emma, I...I know now that I need you, that I will never do anything to hurt you, ever again. That's why nothing happened with April-"
"Nothing happened?" She interrupted, and immediately regretted it, knowing it came out as desperate. "Sue said you slept together."
"Sue? That's who you heard it from?" He asked, trying not to smile.
Silence.
"And you trusted her?"
"I-" She started, but couldn't complete the thought. Had she really trusted Sue? But how could she not have? Will didn't deny her accusations during their...debacle in the teacher's lounge.
"Emma," He said, taking her hands in his, "I made out with Shelby once. And I ended it almost immediately because I knew then that I wanted you, and only you. And I told her that." Emma's heart threatened to leap out of her chest.
"And I did not have sex with April Rhodes." He continued. She flinched on the word 'sex'; sure, it was something she'd imagined - only with him, and only a couple times - but even inside her head it ended awkwardly. Like with her crying.
Everything had just changed so quickly. Was she angry that he made out with someone else? Compared to, um...intercourse, kissing didn't seem so bad. So many thoughts were darting back and forth inside her head. How could she feel so relieved, so happy, and yet so hesitant at the same time?
She noticed him eying her, anticipating her response.
"Yes." She said nervously, and could tell he was confused. She tried to regain her composure.
'Yes? Yes I am angry? Or yes, I forgive him? Say something! '
"Um...Thank you for the flowers." She said, indifferently. He shook his head, and the painful look on his face was enough to convince her of how sorry he was. As he stood up, she tried to think of something clever to say. She never could, not at the right moments.
"Will" She whispered, so quietly she barely heard herself speak. But he was out the door.
She could have called out his name. She could have run to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and never let go.
But she was Emma Pillsbury. And sometimes, she hated herself for it.
//
Comments? Suggestions? Appreciated =) Thanks for reading!