Metal State
Just yesterday I realized how utterly messed up my mental state really is. I mean I joke about how I'm partially mad and have all manner of mental diseases, but I never really thought that I could be serious about those things until last night. It's not even like a big thing set it off. I came home from my dad's on Sunday and went up to my room to put something back up there. I looked into my room and everything was moved. I kind of went into an OCD-esque freak out mode then. Surprised? Yeah so was I. I wasn't expecting myself to freak out at such a thing, I mean I knew it was coming since they needed to fix my bed, but I freaked out all the same. Perhaps I should explain what I mean by freaked out. I mean I yelled when I saw it and then dove at the organized things so I could make it the way it was before. I continued moving really quickly in a twitchy manner until everything was back to the way it was, despite the fact that it is much more disorganized* this way, yelling "Fuck! Everything was moved!" every now and then. Then I noticed things were missing and my eyes started leaking. No, not crying. I refuse to say that I was crying. They were leaking, I swear. I still haven't found a wooden race car, three plastic bugs, and a story. The story really bothers me to lose.
*disorganized by your definition, not mine.
And now to do a meme, stolen from Sweet_novacaine:
Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud and press play. Use the song titles as your answers.
How does the world seem to me?
Artist- Queen
Song- 'I'm Going Slightly Mad'
Comment- A world full of insanity, hm? That seems accurate.
Will I have a happy life?
Artist- Queen
Song- 'Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy'
Comment- So I'll find a really sweet guy and then I will be. Nice to know, oh mystic music player.
How can I make myself happy?
Artist- Gackt
Song- 'Farewell'
Comment- By saying goodbye to the world I know and striking out on my own. Heh, my music player is really optimistic.
What should I do with my life?
Artist- Scooter
Song- 'I was Made for Loving You'
Comment- So I should fall in love?
Why should life be full of so much pain?
Artist- Theory of a Deadman
Song- 'Invisible Man"
Comment- Because no one notices me. You hear that world? My music player thinks people need to pay more attention to me!
How will I be remembered?
Artist- Blink 182
Song- 'I'm Lost Without You'
Comment- So I will be remembered because I'll be well loved. Well that's comforting.
What is your favourite fetish?
Artist- Dir en Grey
Song- 'Schwein no Isu'
comment- So apprently I like pain and blood, according to my music player.
What is happiness?
Artist- The Ramones
Song- 'Cretin Hop'
Comment- So being a Cretin? Give into my darker impulses?
What is some good advice for me?
Artist- System of a Down
Song- 'Old School Hollywood'
Comment- Pay attention to the older media? Maybe?
Will I die happy?
Artist- The Offspring
Song- 'All I Want'
comment- If if defy authority and don't let the man hold me down, yes.
Will I ever have children?
Artist- Smashing Pumpkins
Song- 'We Only Come Out At Night'
Comment- Yes, it will be a vampire child...or concieved at night. One or the other.
Do people secretly lust after me?
Artist- Ozzy Ozbourne
Song- Time After Time
Comment- Apparently one person, really strongly.
*disorganized by your definition, not mine.
And now to do a meme, stolen from Sweet_novacaine:
Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud and press play. Use the song titles as your answers.
How does the world seem to me?
Artist- Queen
Song- 'I'm Going Slightly Mad'
Comment- A world full of insanity, hm? That seems accurate.
Will I have a happy life?
Artist- Queen
Song- 'Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy'
Comment- So I'll find a really sweet guy and then I will be. Nice to know, oh mystic music player.
How can I make myself happy?
Artist- Gackt
Song- 'Farewell'
Comment- By saying goodbye to the world I know and striking out on my own. Heh, my music player is really optimistic.
What should I do with my life?
Artist- Scooter
Song- 'I was Made for Loving You'
Comment- So I should fall in love?
Why should life be full of so much pain?
Artist- Theory of a Deadman
Song- 'Invisible Man"
Comment- Because no one notices me. You hear that world? My music player thinks people need to pay more attention to me!
How will I be remembered?
Artist- Blink 182
Song- 'I'm Lost Without You'
Comment- So I will be remembered because I'll be well loved. Well that's comforting.
What is your favourite fetish?
Artist- Dir en Grey
Song- 'Schwein no Isu'
comment- So apprently I like pain and blood, according to my music player.
What is happiness?
Artist- The Ramones
Song- 'Cretin Hop'
Comment- So being a Cretin? Give into my darker impulses?
What is some good advice for me?
Artist- System of a Down
Song- 'Old School Hollywood'
Comment- Pay attention to the older media? Maybe?
Will I die happy?
Artist- The Offspring
Song- 'All I Want'
comment- If if defy authority and don't let the man hold me down, yes.
Will I ever have children?
Artist- Smashing Pumpkins
Song- 'We Only Come Out At Night'
Comment- Yes, it will be a vampire child...or concieved at night. One or the other.
Do people secretly lust after me?
Artist- Ozzy Ozbourne
Song- Time After Time
Comment- Apparently one person, really strongly.