I'd like to believe we can reconcile the past
Here is a bit of a ramble. I was raised on grunge music. Man with gritty voices and long hair dressed in flannel, girls screeching about how society sucks, low deep guitars growling out over the garage. These are the images that paint my psyche at a very young age. Some part of me still loves my acid washed jeans and T-shirts. (They ARE really comfy after all). Hell knows my hair on an average day still seems to be styled like the 90s grunge people had theirs. It wasn't even Cobain or Alice in Chains, though that was there. I tend to remember a lot of lower down bands, bands which don't get really played now.
Sometimes I feel like grunge may have influenced my mind more than I thought it did. There's something in me that gravitates towards the grimy and the beaten down of the world. There is some part of me that glories in cynical, depressing speech while telling society that it can go fuck itself. It is both depressing and a bit empowering to sing songs about how horrible the world is and how miserable you are. It is depressing because the world sucks. It is empowering because you have a way of expressing it. It's making yourself part of a group that collectively will rub the face of convention because ,man what does society even understand or intend to do about the crippling amount of problems out there. There is some part of me that shoots myself in the foot every time I almost make something poignant and empowering because I tend to go too deeply bitter and cynical just to ruin societal conventions. I won't pretend that grunge music is solely what gave me these thought patterns, but it may have played a part.
Sorry, just a personal reflection that popped into my head today. Do you think the music you grew up with influenced who you later became?
Also in notes I have created a character for a game that I will be running with a friend. Tis an elven woman, a slave. It's my first time playing a slave character. I've played escaped slaves before, but never someone who was actively enslaved and not trying to escape(yet...just wait for it, give me a bit of time to work that arc). She has made a pact with a demon to put magic in her blood to give her some extra power but for the most part just does what her master says. Becoming a mage is a crime, but the character's owner is a blind grave keeper so he doesn't notice what she does as long as his errands are done. The character dilemma I am currently trying to decide is her age. As soon as they are old enough the slaves are made to breed apparently in this world. (Which doesn't make a lick of sense to me. I mean I dig that it happens, but it's not for EVERYBODY.) So I am torn about whether or not I should play a girl who is so young that she hasn't borne a child yet or playing someone who is so old they have lost the ability to bear children. I would go for a pregnant woman, but I have already played one of those under just as dubious conditions as being forced to mate by a slave master. Both the young and the old are the age ranges I am not used to playing so I am just toying around with various ideas of what would lead to a better story dynamic.
Also I now have a book on the history of poisons. It's fascinating so far.
I hope you all are doing well.
Sometimes I feel like grunge may have influenced my mind more than I thought it did. There's something in me that gravitates towards the grimy and the beaten down of the world. There is some part of me that glories in cynical, depressing speech while telling society that it can go fuck itself. It is both depressing and a bit empowering to sing songs about how horrible the world is and how miserable you are. It is depressing because the world sucks. It is empowering because you have a way of expressing it. It's making yourself part of a group that collectively will rub the face of convention because ,man what does society even understand or intend to do about the crippling amount of problems out there. There is some part of me that shoots myself in the foot every time I almost make something poignant and empowering because I tend to go too deeply bitter and cynical just to ruin societal conventions. I won't pretend that grunge music is solely what gave me these thought patterns, but it may have played a part.
Sorry, just a personal reflection that popped into my head today. Do you think the music you grew up with influenced who you later became?
Also in notes I have created a character for a game that I will be running with a friend. Tis an elven woman, a slave. It's my first time playing a slave character. I've played escaped slaves before, but never someone who was actively enslaved and not trying to escape(yet...just wait for it, give me a bit of time to work that arc). She has made a pact with a demon to put magic in her blood to give her some extra power but for the most part just does what her master says. Becoming a mage is a crime, but the character's owner is a blind grave keeper so he doesn't notice what she does as long as his errands are done. The character dilemma I am currently trying to decide is her age. As soon as they are old enough the slaves are made to breed apparently in this world. (Which doesn't make a lick of sense to me. I mean I dig that it happens, but it's not for EVERYBODY.) So I am torn about whether or not I should play a girl who is so young that she hasn't borne a child yet or playing someone who is so old they have lost the ability to bear children. I would go for a pregnant woman, but I have already played one of those under just as dubious conditions as being forced to mate by a slave master. Both the young and the old are the age ranges I am not used to playing so I am just toying around with various ideas of what would lead to a better story dynamic.
Also I now have a book on the history of poisons. It's fascinating so far.
I hope you all are doing well.