SUCKY NIGHT
Last night was so depressing. This is what happen.
Ok...well..its been a while since i last talked to CJ. And lots of stuff has happen since i last talked to him. Espeically the fact that now..i have a new Boyfriend, John. He is so awsome...i'm really glad i'm with him and that he is in my life. Well...last night...was the first time i talked to CJ. Its been a really long time..and i was really happy. Well...turns out that the reason he has been gone so long is that his sister has cancer...i was like...oh fuck no....CJ does not deserve this to be in his life. He is really great guy..and this just tore his heart. I was asking questions about this...but then i thought..that its stupid since he probably dosen't want to talk about it right now. So we skipped that and he asked how the hell I was doing. Well..thats when i told him that i have a b/f and he was like..i know...Me....I was like WHAT?...since when..u never asked me. Then he said he did..along time ago. I said..no..because..u don't forget who your B/F..or your G/F. U just don't forget things like that. I told him that he had to be mistaken. and he was like no..i did ask u out...i was in shock...i was like..thats so not right if he was playing around. Then he said he wasn't...i was like..its bull. Becuase...like...last month..or the month before that..he told me that he was trying to hook up with this girl in his school....and when i asked him about how it went..like last month..he told me...that the girl was to bubbly..so..how the hell can he have been going out with me. He just kept on saying things..that was just making me more depressed and mixture of Mad. He was like...my sister has cancer, i lost my job because of it, and i lost u. I told him that he was like my besfriend..and that he would neve lose me. There are only 4 people i trust that i can say anything to..and they can confort me or give me some sort of talk about anything. and Criag is like one of the first ones. I started crying when he would talk. Then i told him that i would pray to him...but he was like no..that ever since prayer came to his life..that everything went downhill. So i think..this is a test from god to CJ. To test how strong his faith is. I don't care what he says..i'm still going to pray for him and his family....pray dosen't hurt anyone..u just think that cause your not close to God. I know that life can get fucked up...but it happens for a reason. U'll always be stronger because of it....in someway or another. Plus..he is so talented....i can see him being the next best drummer in history. He is so good...he is going to make it..i know he is. but..he just kept on putting himself down....and i was like stop that...and he was like..why should i listen to u if u didn't listen to me when i asked u something....and i ws like..u never asked damnit...stop it. It just make me feel so bad inside. I felt like a lier...in someway....and i hate that. We are still friends however...i promised my self that i wouldn't let this friendship end....
So all night..i was crying..and John was like..babe stop crying..and i couldn't...it just made me feel so bad...then just thinking about his sister and her problem....then he said..i finished making your cookies...and i was like....really?...lol..yeah..i'm such a loser..i'm a sucker for cookies..what can i say. He such a great guy....MWAH!!!...LOVE U.. thats for him...not for u Lizz.
Anyway..yeah..thats what happen...i hope we can move on...and i hope everything can go back to normal...i know its going to be extra hard for CJ since everythig is just hurting him so much...but i told him..that i'm always here for a sholder to lean on, for advice..and anything else. One day..i'm going to vist him...don't know when...but i will..thats one of my goals. i guess thats it....
Ok...well..its been a while since i last talked to CJ. And lots of stuff has happen since i last talked to him. Espeically the fact that now..i have a new Boyfriend, John. He is so awsome...i'm really glad i'm with him and that he is in my life. Well...last night...was the first time i talked to CJ. Its been a really long time..and i was really happy. Well...turns out that the reason he has been gone so long is that his sister has cancer...i was like...oh fuck no....CJ does not deserve this to be in his life. He is really great guy..and this just tore his heart. I was asking questions about this...but then i thought..that its stupid since he probably dosen't want to talk about it right now. So we skipped that and he asked how the hell I was doing. Well..thats when i told him that i have a b/f and he was like..i know...Me....I was like WHAT?...since when..u never asked me. Then he said he did..along time ago. I said..no..because..u don't forget who your B/F..or your G/F. U just don't forget things like that. I told him that he had to be mistaken. and he was like no..i did ask u out...i was in shock...i was like..thats so not right if he was playing around. Then he said he wasn't...i was like..its bull. Becuase...like...last month..or the month before that..he told me that he was trying to hook up with this girl in his school....and when i asked him about how it went..like last month..he told me...that the girl was to bubbly..so..how the hell can he have been going out with me. He just kept on saying things..that was just making me more depressed and mixture of Mad. He was like...my sister has cancer, i lost my job because of it, and i lost u. I told him that he was like my besfriend..and that he would neve lose me. There are only 4 people i trust that i can say anything to..and they can confort me or give me some sort of talk about anything. and Criag is like one of the first ones. I started crying when he would talk. Then i told him that i would pray to him...but he was like no..that ever since prayer came to his life..that everything went downhill. So i think..this is a test from god to CJ. To test how strong his faith is. I don't care what he says..i'm still going to pray for him and his family....pray dosen't hurt anyone..u just think that cause your not close to God. I know that life can get fucked up...but it happens for a reason. U'll always be stronger because of it....in someway or another. Plus..he is so talented....i can see him being the next best drummer in history. He is so good...he is going to make it..i know he is. but..he just kept on putting himself down....and i was like stop that...and he was like..why should i listen to u if u didn't listen to me when i asked u something....and i ws like..u never asked damnit...stop it. It just make me feel so bad inside. I felt like a lier...in someway....and i hate that. We are still friends however...i promised my self that i wouldn't let this friendship end....
So all night..i was crying..and John was like..babe stop crying..and i couldn't...it just made me feel so bad...then just thinking about his sister and her problem....then he said..i finished making your cookies...and i was like....really?...lol..yeah..i'm such a loser..i'm a sucker for cookies..what can i say. He such a great guy....MWAH!!!...LOVE U.. thats for him...not for u Lizz.
Anyway..yeah..thats what happen...i hope we can move on...and i hope everything can go back to normal...i know its going to be extra hard for CJ since everythig is just hurting him so much...but i told him..that i'm always here for a sholder to lean on, for advice..and anything else. One day..i'm going to vist him...don't know when...but i will..thats one of my goals. i guess thats it....