(no subject)

[i_like_red]

...great.



((Following is Private))

There really is no hope for a normal life for me, is there?
I'm graduating soon, I'm planning to go into the Pro League and I'm lucky enough to already have a manager who I look up to and can trust, I'm thinking of going to the Duel College in Domino, I have a beautiful girlfriend who I want to spend the rest of life with.
I have all these plans and more, but then I wonder if it's even worth it in the end... if I end up going crazy at anytime without realizing it... end up hurting or killing those close to me...
...I don't want to ever put them through that... I don't... I can't... each and every one of them, they're so important to me.
But the only way to do that is to push them away. They don't want that... and neither do I. So either way I'd be hurting them.
Figures.

I feel like yelling and punching something, because I don't know what to do.

I hate feeling like this power is forever going to be a barrier in my life.

I hate the fact that I'm scared of myself.

Some days I wonder if I should be in some mental hospital like Yukio is, as I sure do feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.
Though if I wasn't crazy by then, Yukio's usage of big words and speech patterns I don't understand would certainly make sure I turned that way... heh.

...I need to get that card back somehow...