Love & Jealousy
Rant number two. Please feel free to leave at any time...
If you don't know this about me yet, brace your self it can get kind of scary.
Me, I am a very super-duper jealous person. Not like the type if some one has, lets say a better cell phone than me I won't go all fanatics about it. I'm the kind that goes insane if my boyfriend flirts with another girl, I'm not saying that he did...just saying. Right now I am going into psycho mode over something so stupid. I feel like a horrible person for even feeling this garbage. Let me elaborate. In my religion class Levon sits in front of me right, got it? K good. So he talked way to much so the teacher decided to move the seating arrangements. Sarah now sits in front of me (YaY)and Levon sits next to this girl Chantal. I don't know her that well but she gives me the impression that she is the girl who plays the stupid act to get guys attention. I don't think there is any attraction to stupidity.
Anyway, the first few days they would talk and he would be the funny guy that he is and make her laugh all the time. Already my jealousness is starting to boil. He told me once that he likes it when I laugh at his jokes, because he likes it when he makes people laugh. what if he leaves me for her, or starts liking her? Yes I realized I'm really freaking paranoid.
Then he tells me this, the other day she said to him: "Levon come sit next to me I'm sad and I need you to cheer me up." Okay it may not seem like a big deal but having this...uncontrollable jealous monster inside of me, it sent me into hysterics. Now I'm way more paranoid and I have lots of questions. In times likes this I seek reassurance from Levon and I want him to tell me he would never like another girl, ever. He tells me that every day, don't think I ask him to...I certainly don't. He just speaks his mind about how he feels about me, which I love.
Questions running through my head:
Why do I seek reassurance when I'm feeling jealous?
Is it because I don't trust him?
Do I get jealous easily because I care a lot about him or because I'm crazy or because I can't trust him?
Is it normal to want to get him jealous in return?
Do most girls get jealous of other girls more than guys get jealous of other guys?
How come some girls get jealous more than others?
What can prevent jealousy? Can it even be prevented?
I find my self repeating in my head "He said he loves me and he would never like another girl" at times like this...It helps. I feel crazy right now. Rant is over, and the crowd goes wild!
Back to sanity here (cough). Today in english class something funny happened. We were reading Shakespeare "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and Mr Freeman said "You guys aren't going to get this next line, you're too young."
Quince: Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play bare-faced. But, masters,....
And before that Bottom was talking about which beard he is going to choose. I just burst out laughing and he said "Mel gets it" and no one else was laughing. Idiots, no one else got it but me. It was funny, every one was looking at me like i was crazy. And then Freeman starts laughing too, good stuff. Did I mention he laughs like that one villain from Batman...Towfaced(?) The really old one with uhh Jack Nickleson I think it is. Well that's it I'm done. Goodnight folks!
If you don't know this about me yet, brace your self it can get kind of scary.
Me, I am a very super-duper jealous person. Not like the type if some one has, lets say a better cell phone than me I won't go all fanatics about it. I'm the kind that goes insane if my boyfriend flirts with another girl, I'm not saying that he did...just saying. Right now I am going into psycho mode over something so stupid. I feel like a horrible person for even feeling this garbage. Let me elaborate. In my religion class Levon sits in front of me right, got it? K good. So he talked way to much so the teacher decided to move the seating arrangements. Sarah now sits in front of me (YaY)and Levon sits next to this girl Chantal. I don't know her that well but she gives me the impression that she is the girl who plays the stupid act to get guys attention. I don't think there is any attraction to stupidity.
Anyway, the first few days they would talk and he would be the funny guy that he is and make her laugh all the time. Already my jealousness is starting to boil. He told me once that he likes it when I laugh at his jokes, because he likes it when he makes people laugh. what if he leaves me for her, or starts liking her? Yes I realized I'm really freaking paranoid.
Then he tells me this, the other day she said to him: "Levon come sit next to me I'm sad and I need you to cheer me up." Okay it may not seem like a big deal but having this...uncontrollable jealous monster inside of me, it sent me into hysterics. Now I'm way more paranoid and I have lots of questions. In times likes this I seek reassurance from Levon and I want him to tell me he would never like another girl, ever. He tells me that every day, don't think I ask him to...I certainly don't. He just speaks his mind about how he feels about me, which I love.
Questions running through my head:
Why do I seek reassurance when I'm feeling jealous?
Is it because I don't trust him?
Do I get jealous easily because I care a lot about him or because I'm crazy or because I can't trust him?
Is it normal to want to get him jealous in return?
Do most girls get jealous of other girls more than guys get jealous of other guys?
How come some girls get jealous more than others?
What can prevent jealousy? Can it even be prevented?
I find my self repeating in my head "He said he loves me and he would never like another girl" at times like this...It helps. I feel crazy right now. Rant is over, and the crowd goes wild!
Back to sanity here (cough). Today in english class something funny happened. We were reading Shakespeare "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and Mr Freeman said "You guys aren't going to get this next line, you're too young."
Quince: Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play bare-faced. But, masters,....
And before that Bottom was talking about which beard he is going to choose. I just burst out laughing and he said "Mel gets it" and no one else was laughing. Idiots, no one else got it but me. It was funny, every one was looking at me like i was crazy. And then Freeman starts laughing too, good stuff. Did I mention he laughs like that one villain from Batman...Towfaced(?) The really old one with uhh Jack Nickleson I think it is. Well that's it I'm done. Goodnight folks!