(no subject)
I hate how I feel. I feel so alone. I am really sad right now. I was crying a minute ago. I want to starve myself. But I want iron. I told my mom to get me liver. Ew. But I would suffer eating it to be less pale. I would. I feel so weak and I hate food. Everything sounds nasty to me. My mom said she wont get my liver. So I told her to get me salad. She isnt getting that either. She's getting chicken, mashed potatos, and something else. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I used to crave food all the time. Now I dont crave anything. Except soda. Hmm. I hate school. Cassie and me are getting along. We're friends again I guess. I'm not doing bad in my classes either. But im still not happy. I want more. I need more. I wish I could be someone else. I dont like being me. I feel so ugly. I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I'd do anything to change what I hate about myself. I would.
I care alot about what people think of me.
Everytime someone is looking at me I think it's because im ugly. I have a very low self esteem. I want so much. But my mom says she doesnt have enough money. But she does. I mean, She bought this new tv and is getting a new dvd player and a new couch soon, but she cant buy me boots and take me to get a tan. That really makes me mad. I mean, Is that too much? She screams at me all the time. It makes me feel like shit. Like earlier. She spilled this thing of sauce all over her school books. She started screaming at me and saying it's MY fault. I didnt spill it. She did. I hate this. She thinks she spends a whole lot on me. But she doesnt. She doesnt pay for my meds. My grandparents do. They have most of my life.
I care alot about what people think of me.
Everytime someone is looking at me I think it's because im ugly. I have a very low self esteem. I want so much. But my mom says she doesnt have enough money. But she does. I mean, She bought this new tv and is getting a new dvd player and a new couch soon, but she cant buy me boots and take me to get a tan. That really makes me mad. I mean, Is that too much? She screams at me all the time. It makes me feel like shit. Like earlier. She spilled this thing of sauce all over her school books. She started screaming at me and saying it's MY fault. I didnt spill it. She did. I hate this. She thinks she spends a whole lot on me. But she doesnt. She doesnt pay for my meds. My grandparents do. They have most of my life.