The Mighty Boosh fic - Behind the scenes
Behind the scenes
Pairing: Noel/Julian friendship
Rating: PG for some swearwords
Word Count: 1841
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction. No profit has been made.
A/N: sick!Noel and worried!Julian are fun to write. But this is really about their friendship and it’s just a little bit slashy. If you squint. Sorry *_- Not beta-ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Behind the scenes
The curtains fall and Noel slumps against him like a rag doll so hard that Julian almost doesn’t catch him. His whole body is burning up with fever, his fingers are slack against Julian’s shirt. Julian forgets how to breath for a moment, just holding Noel, than holding him up when he feels the younger man going completely limp against him. Then reality slaps him in the face and he half drags half carries Noel off the stage and barely registers the loud applause roaring through the thick curtains.
They’re being ushered into a dark room by someone while Julian catches a few people’s eyes staring in shock back at him. He sits down on the couch pulling Noel with him and tries really hard not to panic. He hears someone shouting for an ambulance in a voice that sounds horribly like his own and then everything seems to go all blurry and strange, minutes crawling by like years and he keeps murmuring to Noel that It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay until someone hauls Noel off of him and he grabs his hand frantically because there’s no way in hell he’s going to let them take him alone. The paramedics steer them through a thousand doors and corridors and then suddenly a nurse pries his sweaty fingers from Noel’s and talks to him in such a soothing and gentle and irritating voice that Julian wants to slap her in the face because no, it’s not alright, what’s happening, where are they taking him? But of course he doesn’t, he just nods and signs papers that are shoved in his face and than he’s left alone again.
In the total silence of the dimly lit corridor his mind jumps back ten years and he remembers a time when they just started doing gigs together and Noel accidentally punched him in the nose with a bat and they sat in a hospital for hours until somebody finally asked him why he was covered in blood. Until then he had to listen to Noel’s desperate apologies which after a while became a bit hysterical and Noel almost cried with frustration because no one would even glance in their direction and why the fuck are they even here Ju, useless assholes, what are they fucking blind or what? In the end Julian sent him to fetch them coffee because he felt himself freaking out, too, and knew that Noel would do something entirely dense if he noticed it as well. So he sat there trying to calm down and wiped the drying blood from his face with a slightly unsteady hand. When Noel came back with the coffee like an eager puppy a nurse already patched him up and Noel almost spilled the hot liquid all over them when he saw the enormous pile of gauze covering Julian’s nose. He did cry after all, he laughed so hard he could hardly breath and Julian was so glad that Noel was Noel again that he forgot to feel offended by his reaction. He did look like an idiot after all.
He is startled out of his reverie by a boy in a white coat calling his name and looking at him expectantly. Suddenly it dawns on him, that he must be the doctor. He feels fucking old.
“Mr. Barratt?” Julian visibly winces at this but fortunately the kid takes it as an acknowledgement and starts throwing words at him like hypothermia and dehydration until Julian wants to yell at him to speak in English. Thankfully the kid seems to notice that and in the end Julian is left with a reassuring smile and a simple His flu turned pretty nasty, but he’ll be okay now. You can go in and see him if you’d like but he’ll probably out for a few hours. Julian waits until the boy is gone and he’s capable of speaking again and not just gawping like a big awkward fish. He pulls his cell out of his pocket and stares at the screen. Fifteen unanswered calls blink back at him. Fabulous.
He calls Dee first so she doesn’t have to find out from the papers tomorrow that Noel was rushed into a hospital with a heart attack or an overdose or something like that, because he just fucking knows that this is going to be on every front page of every stupid newspaper by morning. In the end it’s Dee who tries to calm him down and says she’ll be there in a few hours. Then he calls Julia, just to hear her voice really, and asks her about the twins and about what they had for dinner and then says Thank you, I’m sorry… I’m sorry I woke you up, I’ll call you back in the morning, thank you and he can almost feel her nod against the phone. He calls Mike and tells him the short version of the kid’s long medical speech and then hears a round of sighs and Thank Gods in the background. He remembers to ask about the end of the show but Mike’s words are not really reaching his brain enough to make sense just yet, so after a while Mike gives up and tells him to go and see his brother because he freaks out in hospitals if he’s alone. He says I know, I know, sorry… I’ll call you later and without waiting for a response he snaps the phone’s lid shut.
And breaths.
“Alright” he says to no one in particular and pushes the door open. He doesn’t really dare looking at Noel yet, he just wanders to his side and sits down carefully in the chair next to the bed. He exhales like it’s the hardest thing in the world. He looks up at Noel’s face and sucks in an other breath… holds it in for a long time. The first thing his tired brain screams at him is that he looks like he’s dead. He’s almost paler than the sheets, his make-up is smudged all over his face like a disfigured mask, his hair’s a mess. Machines beep loudly in Julian’s ear like blaring car-horns on the way to the hospital and there’s a bag hanging over Noel’s head, watery liquid dripping from it into his arm. Julian has to force himself to relax, because at that moment everything comes rushing back to him, the applause, Noel’s body heavy against his, the ambulance, the way his fingers were gripping Noel’s hand and his voice all harsh and unfamiliar in his ear If you die, I fucking come after you and kill you myself, you hear me, you stupid little git and he starts a mantra in his head because it’s either that or go mental It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s fixed, he’s fixed, it’s just the flu, he’s not dead, he’s not dying, he’s okay, you’re okay. Breath.
He only realizes he has fallen asleep when he tries to move his head and a sharp pain shots through his back and neck.
“Fuck! Ow!” he hisses, his right hand flying up to his head to hold it in place.
“Good morning, sunshine” Noel, hospital, freaking out his mind reminds him helpfully and he groans but doesn’t look up at Noel.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you” Julian mumbles and his throat hurts like hell.
“It’s okay, I was awake anyway. The night nurse was here a while ago, she desperately wanted your autograph but you were snoring so loudly she changed her mind and asked for mine instead.”
Julian knows Noel is trying to turn this into a laugh, a meaningless joke and he can’t really help himself, not entirely conscious yet.
“Oh, she’ll be back” he laughs half-heartedly “Once you go Barratt you never go back.”
Noel snorts and Julian decides he can’t avoid looking at him forever. He runs a hand over his face and looks up at the younger man. Someone must have removed the remnants of make-up from his face while he was asleep and he gained a bit of colour but he still looks like someone who was run over by an angry bear. But at least he looks alive his brain adds and he couldn’t be more grateful. A comfortable silence descends upon them, Noel looking down at Julian, Julian looking up at Noel, both breathing in unison. Ten years of friendship or not they still act like self-conscious seventeen-year-olds when it comes to situations like these. But at least they try.
“How did the show…” Noel starts but Julian doesn’t let him finish.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
And then.
“They said you hadn’t been drinking enough that’s why you…” passed out and nearly died, but it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay “…that we are here” he finishes lamely.
“Noel Fielding not drinking enough. Now, that’s a first…” but he looks at Julian and bites back whatever he was going to say.
“Please don’t make this into a joke, Noel” Julian feels so tired again, tired and angry and relieved at the same time and he wants Noel to understand this. “Why didn’t you tell me? You said it was okay, that you took pills and saw a doctor. We could have canceled the show or…”
“Because I was okay!” Noel bursts out suddenly and starts to gnaw on his left thumbnail but that stops the liquid still dripping from the bag and Julian grabs his hand and pushes it back on the bed. Noel stares at him like he just killed his puppy. “It’s just a stupid cold.”
“Flu.”
“Whatever. Germs. Little bastards.”
“Still, you could have said something.”
“Why? So you can boss me around like a mother hen?”
“Shut up. You know that’s not what I meant” Noel is so dense sometimes but Julian is too exhausted to fight anymore so he just squeezes Noel’s hand lightly and whispers at the floor. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I know. I’m sorry” Noel frowns a little and Julian can tell that they’ve reached some kind of an edge here and if he pushes further Noel will turn all annoyed and angry and start beating himself up over this and what’s probably even worse is that he’ll be concerned for Julian and he really doesn’t need this right now. So he sighs, lets go of Noel’s hand and produces an almost real smile because he suddenly remembers the conversation he had with Mike on the phone a few hours ago and because really, it’s okay.
“So, apparently Rich is a better Old Gregg than you are.”
Noel’s eyes widen and Julian bursts out laughing.
“He did not!”
“Oh, but yes, he did.”
“I’m gonna kill him, I swear” but he laughs and relaxes against the pillows. They talk about pointless little nothings until Noel starts to drift off again and Julian can feel the first rays of sunlight shining through the window, warming his skin. The machines beep silently. Julian waits.
*
Pairing: Noel/Julian friendship
Rating: PG for some swearwords
Word Count: 1841
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction. No profit has been made.
A/N: sick!Noel and worried!Julian are fun to write. But this is really about their friendship and it’s just a little bit slashy. If you squint. Sorry *_- Not beta-ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Behind the scenes
The curtains fall and Noel slumps against him like a rag doll so hard that Julian almost doesn’t catch him. His whole body is burning up with fever, his fingers are slack against Julian’s shirt. Julian forgets how to breath for a moment, just holding Noel, than holding him up when he feels the younger man going completely limp against him. Then reality slaps him in the face and he half drags half carries Noel off the stage and barely registers the loud applause roaring through the thick curtains.
They’re being ushered into a dark room by someone while Julian catches a few people’s eyes staring in shock back at him. He sits down on the couch pulling Noel with him and tries really hard not to panic. He hears someone shouting for an ambulance in a voice that sounds horribly like his own and then everything seems to go all blurry and strange, minutes crawling by like years and he keeps murmuring to Noel that It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay until someone hauls Noel off of him and he grabs his hand frantically because there’s no way in hell he’s going to let them take him alone. The paramedics steer them through a thousand doors and corridors and then suddenly a nurse pries his sweaty fingers from Noel’s and talks to him in such a soothing and gentle and irritating voice that Julian wants to slap her in the face because no, it’s not alright, what’s happening, where are they taking him? But of course he doesn’t, he just nods and signs papers that are shoved in his face and than he’s left alone again.
In the total silence of the dimly lit corridor his mind jumps back ten years and he remembers a time when they just started doing gigs together and Noel accidentally punched him in the nose with a bat and they sat in a hospital for hours until somebody finally asked him why he was covered in blood. Until then he had to listen to Noel’s desperate apologies which after a while became a bit hysterical and Noel almost cried with frustration because no one would even glance in their direction and why the fuck are they even here Ju, useless assholes, what are they fucking blind or what? In the end Julian sent him to fetch them coffee because he felt himself freaking out, too, and knew that Noel would do something entirely dense if he noticed it as well. So he sat there trying to calm down and wiped the drying blood from his face with a slightly unsteady hand. When Noel came back with the coffee like an eager puppy a nurse already patched him up and Noel almost spilled the hot liquid all over them when he saw the enormous pile of gauze covering Julian’s nose. He did cry after all, he laughed so hard he could hardly breath and Julian was so glad that Noel was Noel again that he forgot to feel offended by his reaction. He did look like an idiot after all.
He is startled out of his reverie by a boy in a white coat calling his name and looking at him expectantly. Suddenly it dawns on him, that he must be the doctor. He feels fucking old.
“Mr. Barratt?” Julian visibly winces at this but fortunately the kid takes it as an acknowledgement and starts throwing words at him like hypothermia and dehydration until Julian wants to yell at him to speak in English. Thankfully the kid seems to notice that and in the end Julian is left with a reassuring smile and a simple His flu turned pretty nasty, but he’ll be okay now. You can go in and see him if you’d like but he’ll probably out for a few hours. Julian waits until the boy is gone and he’s capable of speaking again and not just gawping like a big awkward fish. He pulls his cell out of his pocket and stares at the screen. Fifteen unanswered calls blink back at him. Fabulous.
He calls Dee first so she doesn’t have to find out from the papers tomorrow that Noel was rushed into a hospital with a heart attack or an overdose or something like that, because he just fucking knows that this is going to be on every front page of every stupid newspaper by morning. In the end it’s Dee who tries to calm him down and says she’ll be there in a few hours. Then he calls Julia, just to hear her voice really, and asks her about the twins and about what they had for dinner and then says Thank you, I’m sorry… I’m sorry I woke you up, I’ll call you back in the morning, thank you and he can almost feel her nod against the phone. He calls Mike and tells him the short version of the kid’s long medical speech and then hears a round of sighs and Thank Gods in the background. He remembers to ask about the end of the show but Mike’s words are not really reaching his brain enough to make sense just yet, so after a while Mike gives up and tells him to go and see his brother because he freaks out in hospitals if he’s alone. He says I know, I know, sorry… I’ll call you later and without waiting for a response he snaps the phone’s lid shut.
And breaths.
“Alright” he says to no one in particular and pushes the door open. He doesn’t really dare looking at Noel yet, he just wanders to his side and sits down carefully in the chair next to the bed. He exhales like it’s the hardest thing in the world. He looks up at Noel’s face and sucks in an other breath… holds it in for a long time. The first thing his tired brain screams at him is that he looks like he’s dead. He’s almost paler than the sheets, his make-up is smudged all over his face like a disfigured mask, his hair’s a mess. Machines beep loudly in Julian’s ear like blaring car-horns on the way to the hospital and there’s a bag hanging over Noel’s head, watery liquid dripping from it into his arm. Julian has to force himself to relax, because at that moment everything comes rushing back to him, the applause, Noel’s body heavy against his, the ambulance, the way his fingers were gripping Noel’s hand and his voice all harsh and unfamiliar in his ear If you die, I fucking come after you and kill you myself, you hear me, you stupid little git and he starts a mantra in his head because it’s either that or go mental It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s fixed, he’s fixed, it’s just the flu, he’s not dead, he’s not dying, he’s okay, you’re okay. Breath.
He only realizes he has fallen asleep when he tries to move his head and a sharp pain shots through his back and neck.
“Fuck! Ow!” he hisses, his right hand flying up to his head to hold it in place.
“Good morning, sunshine” Noel, hospital, freaking out his mind reminds him helpfully and he groans but doesn’t look up at Noel.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you” Julian mumbles and his throat hurts like hell.
“It’s okay, I was awake anyway. The night nurse was here a while ago, she desperately wanted your autograph but you were snoring so loudly she changed her mind and asked for mine instead.”
Julian knows Noel is trying to turn this into a laugh, a meaningless joke and he can’t really help himself, not entirely conscious yet.
“Oh, she’ll be back” he laughs half-heartedly “Once you go Barratt you never go back.”
Noel snorts and Julian decides he can’t avoid looking at him forever. He runs a hand over his face and looks up at the younger man. Someone must have removed the remnants of make-up from his face while he was asleep and he gained a bit of colour but he still looks like someone who was run over by an angry bear. But at least he looks alive his brain adds and he couldn’t be more grateful. A comfortable silence descends upon them, Noel looking down at Julian, Julian looking up at Noel, both breathing in unison. Ten years of friendship or not they still act like self-conscious seventeen-year-olds when it comes to situations like these. But at least they try.
“How did the show…” Noel starts but Julian doesn’t let him finish.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
And then.
“They said you hadn’t been drinking enough that’s why you…” passed out and nearly died, but it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay “…that we are here” he finishes lamely.
“Noel Fielding not drinking enough. Now, that’s a first…” but he looks at Julian and bites back whatever he was going to say.
“Please don’t make this into a joke, Noel” Julian feels so tired again, tired and angry and relieved at the same time and he wants Noel to understand this. “Why didn’t you tell me? You said it was okay, that you took pills and saw a doctor. We could have canceled the show or…”
“Because I was okay!” Noel bursts out suddenly and starts to gnaw on his left thumbnail but that stops the liquid still dripping from the bag and Julian grabs his hand and pushes it back on the bed. Noel stares at him like he just killed his puppy. “It’s just a stupid cold.”
“Flu.”
“Whatever. Germs. Little bastards.”
“Still, you could have said something.”
“Why? So you can boss me around like a mother hen?”
“Shut up. You know that’s not what I meant” Noel is so dense sometimes but Julian is too exhausted to fight anymore so he just squeezes Noel’s hand lightly and whispers at the floor. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I know. I’m sorry” Noel frowns a little and Julian can tell that they’ve reached some kind of an edge here and if he pushes further Noel will turn all annoyed and angry and start beating himself up over this and what’s probably even worse is that he’ll be concerned for Julian and he really doesn’t need this right now. So he sighs, lets go of Noel’s hand and produces an almost real smile because he suddenly remembers the conversation he had with Mike on the phone a few hours ago and because really, it’s okay.
“So, apparently Rich is a better Old Gregg than you are.”
Noel’s eyes widen and Julian bursts out laughing.
“He did not!”
“Oh, but yes, he did.”
“I’m gonna kill him, I swear” but he laughs and relaxes against the pillows. They talk about pointless little nothings until Noel starts to drift off again and Julian can feel the first rays of sunlight shining through the window, warming his skin. The machines beep silently. Julian waits.
*