so...
Anqi and i have broken up. and i'm only writing this here so i can save myself the trouble of telling it in person to whoever will read it here before then.
i dunno, the past week has been pretty shitty, and she said things just weren't working out, and i had to agree. but i wanted to try and make things better, but she thought it just wasn't worth it. we're still friends i guess, and i have to admit i like that. the past several days of being "just friends" have made me feel like our situation when we started dating prevented us from doing so many things as just "friends" that i really regret not doing before.
the whole thing is just so hard for me to accept, like i feel like it's soooo hard to not want to be her boyfriend and not want to hold her hand and hang out with her all the time, like it's so hard to just let go like i feel she has. but she has other things to do and other people she likes hanging out with and even a boy she hangs out with all the time who i bet she could be in a relationship with except she says she's not ready yet. and i feel bad sometimes because it feels like i can't just let her go and do her own thing, but at the same time i'm worried that she's going to end up making some decisions that she'll regret in the future.
blah, the whole thing just makes me really sad and lonely. i'd love to get back together with her, even though i know it wouldn't be the same for a while, but i'm not getting my hopes up. yet i'm worried that i won't find anyone who could make me feel the way she did. oh, well. whatever. this was probably more than i needed to say, but i feel like it would be easier than telling it to a lot of people in person. the end.
i dunno, the past week has been pretty shitty, and she said things just weren't working out, and i had to agree. but i wanted to try and make things better, but she thought it just wasn't worth it. we're still friends i guess, and i have to admit i like that. the past several days of being "just friends" have made me feel like our situation when we started dating prevented us from doing so many things as just "friends" that i really regret not doing before.
the whole thing is just so hard for me to accept, like i feel like it's soooo hard to not want to be her boyfriend and not want to hold her hand and hang out with her all the time, like it's so hard to just let go like i feel she has. but she has other things to do and other people she likes hanging out with and even a boy she hangs out with all the time who i bet she could be in a relationship with except she says she's not ready yet. and i feel bad sometimes because it feels like i can't just let her go and do her own thing, but at the same time i'm worried that she's going to end up making some decisions that she'll regret in the future.
blah, the whole thing just makes me really sad and lonely. i'd love to get back together with her, even though i know it wouldn't be the same for a while, but i'm not getting my hopes up. yet i'm worried that i won't find anyone who could make me feel the way she did. oh, well. whatever. this was probably more than i needed to say, but i feel like it would be easier than telling it to a lot of people in person. the end.