uuuugh too many Sterek feels
this song is giving me all kinds of Sterek feels, and I need to get them off my chest. Ok, listen to this, and read the lyrics, and tell me it's not perfect.
[here's why]
Ok, so first: Stiles doesn't hide his feelings for people. His crush on Lydia is like the worst kept secret ever. He discusses it with pretty much everyone, including Lydia herself. He literally flails all over himself in her presence. He's the epitome of not-subtle.
And I don't think falling for a boy would change this any. Stiles has shown himself to be pretty comfortable with his own bi-curiousness, if not outright bisexuality. Even when his dad caught him outside a gay club, he didn't bat an eyelash over his dad thinking he was gay (in fact, he seemed a little offended that his dad dismissed the possibility so easily). So if he fell for a boy, I think he would be just as forthright about it.
So if Stiles were to really fall for Derek (I'm not convinced it will actually happen in canon, but it really doesn't matter to me), it would be pretty obvious to everyone, including Derek. I think it would be pretty hard for Derek not to know, even apart from the whole werewolves-can-smell-emotions stuff.
And I think Derek would feel pretty conflicted about it. First, there's the age difference, which has to weigh heavily on him, given his own past. I mean, Stiles is barely older than he was when Kate took advantage of him, and while I don't think they ever explicitly say Kate's age at the time, I guessing she was somewhere in her early to mid twenties, where Derek is now. I think he'd see Stiles as just as young and naive as he was then, and really worry about how he could hurt him, even unintentionally.
Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away
And maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it
Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad... bad person
Well, baby I know.
Second, Derek has all those trust issues and that fear of losing people that keeps him from letting others get too close. Kate betrayed him, Peter betrayed him, even Scott betrayed him. He doesn't even let his pack get too close. I don't think he'd easily let anyone into his heart, but especially not Stiles, because Stiles isn't bound to him the way his pack is, and there's nothing to keep him from changing his mind, or finally getting fed up, or leaving in a few years and never coming back. I think he'd at least fight like hell not to give in to his desire to trust him, or to let himself grow too fond, because that leaves him vulnerable.
So this song just makes me think about Stiles, so young and guileless, and Derek not knowing what to do with that, except feel guilty and wish Stiles would stop, for both their sakes. Because even if he wants to, even if it hurts like hell, he can't love Stiles back.
You love love love
When you know I can't love
You love love love
When you know I can't love you
omg so that was an explosion of feels. sorry. now someone make me a fanvid with this song. or write me super angsty fic where Derek pushes Stiles away for both their sakes (or tries, anyway, I'm not opposed to happy endings, I just neeeeed the aaaaangst)
Click to view[here's why]
Ok, so first: Stiles doesn't hide his feelings for people. His crush on Lydia is like the worst kept secret ever. He discusses it with pretty much everyone, including Lydia herself. He literally flails all over himself in her presence. He's the epitome of not-subtle.
And I don't think falling for a boy would change this any. Stiles has shown himself to be pretty comfortable with his own bi-curiousness, if not outright bisexuality. Even when his dad caught him outside a gay club, he didn't bat an eyelash over his dad thinking he was gay (in fact, he seemed a little offended that his dad dismissed the possibility so easily). So if he fell for a boy, I think he would be just as forthright about it.
So if Stiles were to really fall for Derek (I'm not convinced it will actually happen in canon, but it really doesn't matter to me), it would be pretty obvious to everyone, including Derek. I think it would be pretty hard for Derek not to know, even apart from the whole werewolves-can-smell-emotions stuff.
And I think Derek would feel pretty conflicted about it. First, there's the age difference, which has to weigh heavily on him, given his own past. I mean, Stiles is barely older than he was when Kate took advantage of him, and while I don't think they ever explicitly say Kate's age at the time, I guessing she was somewhere in her early to mid twenties, where Derek is now. I think he'd see Stiles as just as young and naive as he was then, and really worry about how he could hurt him, even unintentionally.
Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away
And maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it
Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad... bad person
Well, baby I know.
Second, Derek has all those trust issues and that fear of losing people that keeps him from letting others get too close. Kate betrayed him, Peter betrayed him, even Scott betrayed him. He doesn't even let his pack get too close. I don't think he'd easily let anyone into his heart, but especially not Stiles, because Stiles isn't bound to him the way his pack is, and there's nothing to keep him from changing his mind, or finally getting fed up, or leaving in a few years and never coming back. I think he'd at least fight like hell not to give in to his desire to trust him, or to let himself grow too fond, because that leaves him vulnerable.
So this song just makes me think about Stiles, so young and guileless, and Derek not knowing what to do with that, except feel guilty and wish Stiles would stop, for both their sakes. Because even if he wants to, even if it hurts like hell, he can't love Stiles back.
You love love love
When you know I can't love
You love love love
When you know I can't love you
omg so that was an explosion of feels. sorry. now someone make me a fanvid with this song. or write me super angsty fic where Derek pushes Stiles away for both their sakes (or tries, anyway, I'm not opposed to happy endings, I just neeeeed the aaaaangst)