It's doooooooone!

[i_know_its_0ver]

banner by ontinia

Title: Heartbreak, Secret Friends, and Stupid Doodles (5/5)- COMPLETE
Beta: maybelater__
Official Cheerleader/Jedi Master: rufflefeather
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Lance
Rating: PG-13-ish! (very very slightly)
Warnings: a couple curse words, some kissing
Word Count: approx 8,800 this chp, (33,600 total)

Summary: Modern uni AU: Merlin has a secret crush on Arthur, who has no idea who he is. When Arthur has a bad break up, Merlin takes it upon himself to cheer him up. Secretly, of course.

A/N: HOLY SHIT GUYS THIS IS IT. I can't believe it's done. 5 chapters and almost 34,000 words! before this the longest fic I had ever written was 7,000, so it's been a huge learning experience. I want to thank everyone who has read, commented, rec-ed or left encouragement. it means the world to me.

And as always, rufflefeather deserves heaping piles of thanks, for sticking with me through the entire thing. I owe you a lifetime's supple of porn, if only I could write it! As well as maybelater__ for her infinite patience with my sloppy writing. It was a bit like writing boot camp, but I hope I learned a few things along the way.

Anyway, I'm sad that it's over, but I'd rather wrap it up than drag it out. so here it is, the final chapter! I hope you guys like it :D

Past chapters:

Chapter 1 (with further notes and credits)

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Also check out the Masterpost for the Soundtrack, and more gorgeous banners!
ETA: PDF download



It sounded so much simpler when he had been several drinks past sober. Arthur decided he had to make a move, that, no matter what, he had to meet Merlin and at least attempt to get to know him. (And, if things went well, eventually declare his ardent feelings and not-so-noble intentions. But that could come later.) He still knew it was the right decision, even with his mind totally clear, but the practical considerations of how to go about it seemed much more daunting.

Arthur had already contemplated a dozen different methods, but none of them felt right. He thought about some kind of grand gesture, something to let the whole campus know how he felt (the girls he had dated always seemed to appreciate such romance, though Arthur wasn’t overly fond of making a spectacle of himself). But so far he hadn’t even been able to chat Merlin up when he saw him around campus, always losing his nerve at the critical moment. There was no way he’d manage something grand and poetic without keeling over from embarrassment halfway through.

Rather, he needed something that put less pressure on both of them, something that wasn’t so direct and downright terrifying. He wanted to leave both of them the option to back out without being publicly humiliated forever.

The idea finally came to him as he paced back and forth across his small dorm room, hands tugging at his hair in frustration: a note. It was so obvious, he wasn’t sure how it had taken him so long to realize it. That was how they had been communicating all along, it was already familiar, a part of their routine. Plus it gave both of them a little leeway. Hopefully Merlin wouldn’t feel too pressured, and Arthur wouldn’t have to face direct rejection if it didn’t go to plan. It would leave them both with a bit of dignity, or at least the minuscule amount Arthur had left at this point.

Alright. He would write a note and get to class early so he could leave it on Merlin’s desk before he arrived (he desperately hoped he remembered the right seat, or this could go spectacularly awry).

That was one decision down. Now, what the hell did one write on a note to a secret crush/potential boyfriend whom you have never actually talked to? It’s not like they made greeting cards for occasions like this. Anything overly sentimental would just come off as creepy. He had to get the message across but still play it cool. Though cool probably wasn’t possible in a pathetic love note.

He spent he rest of the evening thinking up and rejecting one possibility after another. By the time Leon returned, Arthur’s desk looked like a miniature landfill of crumpled paper.

“Having a rough time?” Leon asked cautiously, skirting around Arthur’s mess as if touching it might infect him with Arthur’s lunacy. He dropped his bag down on his bed and started pulling out textbooks, eyeing Arthur warily.

“I’m fine,” Arthur replied, trying to cover his frustration with false cheerfulness, but it came out sounding manic.

Leon seemed to think so too. “Alright, well, I’ve got some work to do, but, uh, let me know if you… need anything,” he said, turning his desk chair sideways. Arthur could feel those sharp eyes watching him covertly from behind his book.

Arthur set back to work, scribbling notes and tearing them up, gritting his teeth in frustration. He knew Leon was watching every time he let out a weary sigh or ripped off a new sheet of paper and threw it across the room. Still, he couldn’t stop himself, and he couldn’t confide in Leon right now. He had to figure this out by the morning, there was no time for pep talks (and even less for lectures). If all went well, Arthur would tell him about it afterward and reassure Leon that he had not in fact gone insane. And if it didn’t go well then it might be time to cart him off to the loony bin after all.

****

Arthur woke up to his alarm the next morning with his head slumped on his desk, crumpled paper digging painfully into his cheek. He sat up and stretched, stiff limbs protesting the hours spent in an awkward position. A blanket slid off his shoulders and he grabbed it before it fell to the floor. Leon must have thrown it over him this morning before he left for his early class. He might be worried for Arthur’s mental health, but he was still the same old Leon.

Arthur looked down at the pile of paper covering his desk (now accompanied by a small pond of drool). He had finally decided on a message at three in the morning, and his sleep-deprived brain had declared it genius, though now he couldn’t recall a word of it.

He picked up the only uncrumpled sheet from the center of the desk and read it over. Well, it wasn’t bloody Shakespeare, but it would have to do. He didn’t have any more time to worry about it. Class started in an hour, and he needed to be there extra early today.

When Arthur arrived at the classroom he peeked in nervously, hoping it would still be fairly empty. For once, he was in luck. He had no idea what he would have done if Merlin had beaten him there but it was best not to dwell on that. He was wound tightly enough as it was, without thinking of every possible catastrophe.

He dropped his things at his desk and closed his eyes for a moment, carefully remembering which seat Merlin had been sitting in last class. It was behind him to his left, two rows over and three seats back. Or was it four? No, he was fairly certain it was three. He decided to leave the note and keep a cautious eye out, in case anyone who was not Merlin headed for that seat and he needed to make a quick recovery.

Now he had half an hour until class began and nothing to do with all of his nervous energy. He pulled out his phone and sent Gwaine a text, knowing the wanker would still be in bed even though it was nearly noon. Sure enough, he received an angry reply several minutes later, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad.

Finally, other students started to file in and Arthur didn’t feel quite so conspicuous. He tried to look like he wasn’t watching them all impatiently, but it was hard to pull his eyes from the doorway for more than ten seconds at a time.

Then Merlin walked in, looking like he had rolled out of bed only moments ago. His hair was sticking up at a rather remarkable angle in the back, and Arthur had to look away before he broke into a ridiculous grin. Bed head shouldn’t be so cute, should it? Dammit, he was really in trouble.

Merlin made his way over to his seat (which was exactly the one Arthur had guessed, fortunately) and dropped his things. Now that the moment was finally here, Arthur felt like his heart was going to beat its way out of his ribcage and jump ship, abandoning him to his folly. He couldn’t blame it.

He waited for Merlin to notice the piece of paper, trying to keep his expression calmer than he felt (which was several ticks past nervous and approaching apocalyptic-level panic). Then Merlin’s eyes fell on the note and he looked confused, cocking his head to one side like a curious puppy. He reached out hesitantly and took the note, unfolding it in what felt like slow motion. And then Arthur swore his heart stopped altogether.

****

Merlin had almost overslept that morning, and probably would have if it weren’t for the providential text from Gwen telling him she had a study group in the afternoon and couldn’t meet him for lunch. Merlin groaned and rolled over, finally noticing the time. Normally he might give in to temptation and snuggle back into his nice warm blankets and sleep most of the day away. He figured he had earned the right to an unscheduled day off once in a while. Today, however, was economics day, and the thought of a new reply note from Arthur was even more tempting than a few extra hours of sleep.

So he pulled himself out of bed and threw on some semi-clean clothes (they passed a quick sniff inspection), and was ready in record time. His hair was sticking up, but there wasn’t much he could do about that at the best of times, so he let it be. There was no time to grab tea, which was a shame, but he promised himself an extra cup if he made it through class without falling asleep.

Merlin grabbed his things and rushed out the door, with just enough time left to arrive at class a few minutes early.

Or so he thought, but when Merlin entered the room Arthur was already in his seat, glancing down at his mobile. It threw Merlin off; this wasn’t their usual pattern, Arthur was never there before he was. Was he really running that late today? But the classroom was still only half full.

Crap. He had no idea what to do now. He couldn’t very well leave a note on the desk when Arthur was sitting in it. It was a shame, because he had come up with a particularly good one today, but he supposed he would just have to save it for next class. This probably meant he wouldn’t receive a reply today either, which was even more of a letdown. Maybe missing his alarm had been a sign that he should have stayed in bed after all.

He shuffled to his seat, trying to hold back an enormous yawn. His residual sleepiness was probably the reason he didn’t immediately notice the folded paper sitting in the center of his desk. His eyes went wide as he realized why that paper looked so familiar. His hands shook as he reached down to take it, unfolding it slowly, like it might explode if he wasn’t careful.



Merlin knew he must look ridiculous to anyone happening to glance his way. His jaw hung slack and his eyes were as round as saucers as he re-read the note several more times, reassuring himself that it actually said what he thought it did, that this wasn’t just another trick of his overactive imagination. But it was fairly straightforward; his brain couldn’t come up with any prevaricating explanations this time. The words “fall for you” and “responsibility” bounced around in his head like a ricocheting pinball, echoing until they drowned out all other thoughts. Merlin looked up, still reeling, and reflexively glanced at Arthur.

Who was looking straight back at him. Arthur’s head was turned, watching Merlin carefully over his shoulder, like he was trying to be covert. When he noticed Merlin returning his gaze he broke into a small smile, more of a smirk, really, and raised one eyebrow in a questioning gesture, nodding meaningfully towards Merlin’s hands.

Merlin knew he was blushing furiously, and his eyes were still bugging out of their sockets. He was trying to make sense of all this, but it just wasn’t connecting. The note, Arthur’s look, could it really be meant for him? And did it mean what he thought, or at least hoped, it did? He’d been known to delude himself before.

Merlin glanced at the people around him and then back at Arthur. No one else seemed to be paying attention, so he didn’t know who else Arthur could possibly be addressing. Still, he had to be certain. He raised a shaking hand and pointed to himself, raising his eyebrows in a return question.

Arthur just rolled his eyes in an exaggerated gesture of frustration at Merlin’s slowness. He nodded his head, scrutinizing Merlin with piercing blue eyes. Merlin was jealous of how calm he looked while he felt ready to pass out.

Merlin’s mouth had gone dry, and he licked his lips reflexively, looking back down at the note. It wasn’t really a question, but it looked like Arthur expected some kind of answer. In all his daydreams he never could have come up with something like this. Over a year of watching and yearning and hoping, and it all came down to this moment. In that case, there was only one thing he could do.

He looked back up to find Arthur still watching him, his usually full mouth pressed into a thin, tense line. Merlin looked him in the eye, feeling his cheeks heat up like burning coals, and nodded fervently, nearly giving himself whiplash in the process.

Arthur grinned then, a full, joyful smile, and Merlin thought he might pass out after all. He felt dizzy, like the world had dropped away beneath his feet and he was floating without an anchor. Arthur nodded to him again and Merlin nodded back dumbly, not sure what he was agreeing to now, but it hardly mattered, because the answer to anything Arthur asked would always be yes.

Professor Smith called for attention and Arthur hesitantly turned back around in his seat, but Merlin caught another flash of a smile and a quick blush. As soon as Arthur’s attention was turned away Merlin slumped down in his seat, all his energy deserting him in a rush. His heart was beating an erratic staccato rhythm and his mind was still trying to process what the hell had just happened.

Merlin would never remember a single thing that was said in that lecture. He could barely remember being in the class at all. When he told Gwen about it later, all he could recount for certain was the way Arthur had smiled at him, and how it felt like taking his first breath.

****

After class Arthur packed his things away slowly, turning to watch Merlin cram his belongings carelessly into his backpack. Merlin looked up to see Arthur still standing at his desk as the rest of the class emptied out. He seemed startled, and Arthur tried to smile reassuringly, but he was still nervous as hell and it probably showed. Merlin may have accepted his proposal, or declaration, or whatever the hell it had been, but now came the part where they actually had to speak, without their usual paper intermediary. What if they really didn’t get along after all?

Arthur shrugged towards the door and Merlin fell into step silently beside him. Merlin looked a little wide-eyed, as if he wasn’t quite sure this was actually happening. Arthur knew the feeling, though he was desperately trying to hide it. He was the one who had initiated this, after all, he had to at least pretend like he had a genius plan to follow through.

Arthur suppressed a laugh when Merlin tripped over his own feet, because this whole thing was too new and he didn’t know if it was okay to laugh at a boy you just kinda-sorta asked out. He watched Merlin out of the corner of his eye as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, as if he didn’t know what else to do with them. Arthur kept his own firmly gripped on the strap of his backpack, lest they be tempted to reach out and smooth down that ridiculous bedhead. That would probably not be socially acceptable at this stage.

They walked in awkward silence until they came out of the building and into the bright early afternoon sun. Other students were milling about, but it was a relatively secluded and quiet corner of the campus, private enough for a chat. Arthur turned to Merlin, clearing his throat nervously and rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, eyes not quite daring to meet the other boy’s fully, instead resting somewhere around his nose (which was much safer than his mouth, at least).

Arthur was trying desperately to come up with something to say. He had spent so much time thinking about this moment, but he had never actually come up with a real plan past the point of getting Merlin to agree to meet him. How the hell was he supposed to start? It wasn’t like meeting a stranger, since they already knew each other, albeit in an rather unusual way. Starting with introductions at this point just seemed silly.

“How did you find out?” Merlin suddenly blurted, saving Arthur the trouble. Merlin immediately flushed pink and dropped his eyes to his trainers, scuffing them against the pavement.

It wasn’t the best place to start. Arthur hadn’t planned to kick things off by admitting to being something of a stalker or almost blowing up at their mutual friend. It didn’t exactly paint him in the most favorable light. But it did present an opening.

“It’s, um, rather a long story, actually,” Arthur said, trying not to sound panicked. “We could, -I mean, if you’d like to, I could tell you about it over a cup of tea? Now, I mean. You know, if you want.” Oh hell, that was smooth. How many times had he asked women out? He had never sounded like such a bumbling amateur before, not even back in high school. Arthur was ready to run away right then and never show his face again. Now Merlin would think he was awkward and quite possibly creepy.

Instead, Merlin seemed to have miraculously relaxed a little at Arthur’s fumbling speech. He was possibly even smiling a little, though it was hard to tell with his face tilted towards the ground like his feet were utterly enthralling. He seemed to consider Arthur’s proposal and finally looked up, though still not quite meeting Arthur’s eyes, which was a bit of a relief.

“Do you mean,” Merlin began, but paused and took a deep breath, as if he were steeling himself. “You mean as friends?” he asked, the words coming out in one gasping rush.

Arthur had never blushed so hard in his life. He thought the note had made his intentions pretty damn clear, what was Merlin trying to do, forcing him to say it? Was he purposely trying to embarrass him? Or maybe that was his subtle way of saying he only wanted to be friends. Fuck. Well, Arthur had come this far. He may as well shoot for the goal now, it’s not like he could look like much more of an idiot.

“I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but I had been thinking more along the lines of a… date.” God, now he sounded like an ass as well.

But Merlin was smirking, a mischievous look that made Arthur’s stomach flutter. “Most people would start with some flirting, you know, and gradually work their way up to a date. But you just jump right in. That is a bit presumptuous, really.”

Arthur’s first instinct was to be offended, but instead he felt himself gaping in shock, unable to work up any righteous indignation. Then he noticed that Merlin’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, watching Arthur’s incredulous face. Merlin was biting his bottom lip, as if attempting to hold back a grin.

Arthur was transfixed, staring at that full lip trapped between Merlin’s teeth, forgetting that he had just been played. That sarcasm was something he’d have to get used to, but right now he couldn’t even bring himself to be annoyed at the teasing, so long as Merlin kept smirking so temptingly.

“You know, you weren’t nearly so cheeky in your notes,” Arthur replied with a confident smile, back on familiar ground. If Merlin wanted to tease, he could do that too.

Merlin only grinned, apparently seeing right through his haughty tone. “What, you changing your mind then?” he asked, and Arthur could sense a note of real hesitancy beneath the glib tone.

It felt like an important moment. Merlin was giving him an opening; he could choose to back out now and play it all off as a joke. They could just be friends, or nothing at all, there was still time to go back. But the hesitance he had felt only a few moments ago was already gone, wiped away by that smile. Arthur was certain, for the first time in a long while, of exactly what he wanted.

“I think I can forgive your attitude if you can overlook my arrogance” Arthur said sarcastically, giving Merlin a withering look which was severely undermined by his grin.

“Yeah, I think I could do that,” Merlin replied, sounding a little breathless. Merlin finally lifted his eyes to meet Arthur’s, and he could see a warmth that belied the subdued tone.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, sizing the other up. They had only been talking for a few minutes, and it was nerve wracking and bewildering and entirely exhilarating. Already Arthur felt closer to Merlin, after just a few words. Then again, they really weren’t their first words, were they? They had been friends for weeks already, without acknowledging it as such. There was an understanding there that somehow went beyond the jokes and the small talk.

Arthur recalled Lance’s words about destiny, and right now it didn’t seem quite so preposterous. Maybe everything did happen for a reason after all. Arthur cleared his throat again, pulling his eyes away from Merlin’s and looking around sheepishly, like he had just remembered they were staring at each other in the middle of the open campus.

“So, how about that tea then?” Arthur asked, hitching his backpack over one shoulder and turning towards the quad.

Merlin nodded thoughtfully. “That sounds like a start,” he replied, falling into step beside Arthur as he led the way towards Merlin’s favorite cafe.

Arthur turned to frown at him. “What, you’ve got other ideas?” he asked, distracted by the way Merlin’s long fingers wrapped around the straps of his bag.

“Oh, I think I may have a few,” Merlin replied, flashing him another playful grin, and Arthur was left wondering what the hell he had been waiting for all this time, faltering for a step as he stared in surprise.

Merlin looked back at him with a quirked eyebrow and Arthur hastily caught up. There was certainly no need to go revealing that just yet, best to keep some things for later. Tea would be a good place to start. What happened from there… well, he had no idea, but we was pretty sure it was going to be brilliant.

THE END (but not really)

Epilogue

The night of their first proper date Arthur was a mess. They had decided on the cinema, which was a classic first date destination. It relieved some of the pressure of having to make conversation all evening, but it came with its own set of complications, which were only compounded by the fact that Arthur had never gone out with a guy before. It was different from taking a girl out, wasn’t it? There were so many things he wasn’t sure about: would he be expected to pay, or would that be condescending? Were you supposed to hold doors or pull out chairs for a guy? Who would pick the movie? Did a date automatically mean it had to be a romantic movie? (He really, really hoped not.)

All of that was on top of the usual first date anxieties: what should he wear, would they get along, would they kiss, should he ask him out again? All of it was nerve wracking, and Arthur was almost ready to call it off and forget the whole thing.

But then Leon had stepped in, helping him choose an outfit (which he had never done for any of Arthur’s dates before), and reassured him that it would be fine so long as he took it one moment at a time and didn’t get too caught up in the details. Leon hadn’t been nearly as surprised at the news as Arthur had expected, and while he had asked a lot of questions, he had been nothing but supportive. Arthur was sure he’d be a complete wreck by now if it weren’t for Leon’s quiet reassurance.

They had planned to meet at the theater, and Arthur was so anxious that he arrived almost half an hour early. He had nothing to do but loiter about in the lobby, trying to keep his mind blank and not get too worked up. The more he let himself think about everything that could go wrong, the more likely he was to do or say something stupid.

Then Merlin arrived, looking freshly showered and shaved and combed, and it made Arthur forget everything else. He looked more put together than Arthur had ever seen him in class, in dark wash jeans and a dark blue jumper that made his eyes look even more intense. Arthur had to stop himself from gaping, hiding his surprise behind a genuine smile. If Merlin had been cute before, tonight he looked downright gorgeous. That alone made it worth showing up, even if he did end up embarrassing himself catastrophically.

Merlin spotted him with obvious relief and headed over to join him with a shy smile. His hands were shoved in his pockets, in a gesture Arthur was already becoming used to, and he realized that Merlin was probably just as nervous. The thought settled him; at least he wasn’t in this alone.

“Um, you look nice,” Arthur said, not sure if that was an appropriate thing to say to a guy, but it was certainly true. Merlin blushed and mumbled his thanks, dipping his head coyly. That was probably a yes, then. Arthur filed that information away in a new mental folder marked ‘Ways to Make Merlin Happy’.

“What movie do you want to see?” Merlin asked, eyes still fixed on the floor.

Arthur had been so preoccupied with everything else that he had forgotten to even consider the movie choices. He took a look at the listings board and chose the first thing that seemed halfway decent, an action movie staring Bruce Willis.

Merlin cringed, but it was tempered by a lopsided grin. “It’s not really a date movie, is it?” he replied, and Arthur mentally kicked himself. Apparently he was doomed to watch a romance film after all.

“Fine, what did you have in mind?” Arthur asked, his nervousness manifesting itself as annoyance.

Merlin didn’t seem to mind, naming a sci fi movie about robots that Arthur vaguely remembered Leon talking about.

“Oh, and that is a date movie?” he asked incredulously, trying to sound affronted, though really he didn’t care what kind of movie it was. They could see some stupid foreign art film for all he cared at this point, so long as he got to sit close to Merlin in the dark.

“Robots are appropriate for all occasions,” Merlin assured him, like this was the most obvious thing in the world and Arthur was a simpleton for not knowing.

Arthur felt fairly neutral on the subject of robots, but he argued the subject just for the sake of something to say. Merlin’s bottom lip stuck out in just the barest hint of a pout when Arthur insisted that action was cooler than sci fi, and he had to struggle to keep his mind on the conversation. When Merlin did that Arthur wanted to give in to anything he wanted, no matter how ridiculous or distasteful. Hell, he would dress up like a robot and go to a sci fi convention if Merlin pouted hard enough. Arthur was pretty sure that was a bad sign of things to come, when on the first date he was already becoming a total pushover, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind in the slightest.

“Fine,” Arthur finally conceded, with an exaggerated sigh. “We’ll see the robots. But next time I get to choose the movie.” Merlin beamed at him, and Arthur knew he would let Merlin pick next time as well. The fact that Merlin didn’t object to there being a next time made him giddy.

They waited together in the concessions line, and Merlin insisted on buying a giant tub of popcorn. Arthur was a little appalled, but Merlin just smiled mysteriously and assured him that they would need it all.

Once they had chosen their seats (in the back row, which Merlin insisted had the best view of the screen, and Arthur thought was an ideal spot for making out), Merlin attempted to teach Arthur how to catch popcorn in his mouth. Arthur was rubbish at it, unsurprisingly. Merlin tossed piece after piece with precise aim, but somehow Arthur managed to get hit on the chin or the nose, missing his open mouth by millimeters. Merlin seemed to find his lack of skill hilarious, teasing him about his appalling mouth-eye coordination, which only made Arthur more determined to prove himself. When he finally managed to catch a kernel Merlin cheered like he had won the World Cup, and Arthur couldn’t help but beam. Merlin, on the other hand, was an expert at this game, and Arthur had to admit he was mildly impressed. He wondered what other talents his mouth mights have, and oh God, that was not the kind of thing he should be thinking about on a first date.

Before his mind could do any more unbidden wandering, the previews began to roll. Arthur sat back, but he was constantly shifting, unable to find a comfortable position. Merlin, however, settled in right away, and was completely absorbed in the movie from the very first frame. He watched with intense concentration, laughing and smiling and gasping at all the right moments (though he also laughed during the gory scenes, which Arthur found a little odd).

Arthur could barely pay attention. Robots were trying to take over the Earth, but all he could think about was how close Merlin’s knee was to his own, and whether Merlin would notice if he shifted just a little closer, so their shoulders would bump together. He was completely fixated on Merlin’s hand, lying on the arm rest between their seats. It would be so easy to reach over the entwine their fingers, and he wanted to more than anything, but he couldn’t work up the courage. What if Merlin didn’t want to, and freaked out in front of the full theater? That would be devastating. He thought he had been fairly clear that this was an actual date, but did that make it the same as a date with a girl? Was hand-holding a given, or was that some kind of strange taboo? Arthur was in over his head and he had no idea what to do.

Maybe he was thinking so loudly that his brainwaves somehow reached Merlin, because moments later, without his eyes ever leaving the screen, he snaked his hand under the armrest and found Arthur’s, entwining their fingers together and resting them on the seat next to his thigh. Arthur was pretty sure he let out a loud gasp at the unexpected contact, but fortunately the sound of explosions covered it up. Merlin glanced over briefly and smiled before turning back to the robot rebellion. Arthur squeezed his hand in return and finally settled down for the rest of the film.

By the time the credits rolled Arthur was perfectly contented to stay like that forever. But then the house lights came back up and Merlin was standing, their hands pulling apart so he could gather up the empty popcorn tub. Arthur tried not to pout at the loss of contact.

They walked back to campus together, and Merlin was rattling on about how cool the robots had been, and which one was his favorite, and how the director’s older movies were so much better. Arthur was paying enough attention to interject a noncommittal grunt here or there, but Merlin didn’t seem to mind carrying the conversation on his own. Arthur liked the way his voice rattled a mile a minute when he was excited, and couldn’t bring himself to interrupt even if he thought of something intelligent to say.

Arthur’s attention was pulled back sharply when he felt Merlin’s hand close around his own once again. He looked up to find Merlin watching him, anxious frown on his guarded face. For a moment Arthur was too stunned to respond, because they were holding hands, and it wasn’t in the secluded dark of a theater, but on a busy sidewalk near their school, where anyone could see. And he was surprisingly fine with that. Overjoyed, in fact.

He squeezed Merlin’s hand in a gesture which he hoped somehow conveyed that, and pulled him closer so their shoulders rubbed together while they walked. Merlin grinned and ducked his head again, and Arthur was almost certain he was blushing, if the color of his ears was any indication. He could feel himself beaming, but really didn’t see any reason to hide it.

Arthur dropped Merlin off outside his dorm, and they parted with another squeeze of hands and shy smiles and promises to call. They didn’t kiss, which was a little disappointing, but he wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that yet.

Arthur walked back to his own dorm feeling on top of the world. Leon was definitely going to tease him, but he didn’t even mind. He had never been on a date quite like this before. They had talked about robots and thrown popcorn at each other and spent most of the time teasing and making jokes. It was nothing at all like the girls he had gone out with. Yet, somehow, it was probably the best date ever.

****

A week later they were sitting beside each other on the worn out couch in the common room of Merlin’s dorm. The room was otherwise deserted and the lights were off so they could see the telly better. They were watching the new episode of Top Gear, which made Merlin smile when Arthur had suggested it, though he refused to tell him why. He wasn’t ready to admit to his elaborate and slightly pathetic daydreams just yet.

They had been on one more date since the cinema, to a cozy little Thai restaurant where they had lingered for hours, chatting and laughing until the shop finally closed and they were forced out. It had been brilliant, better than Merlin had even imagined. They had discussed just about everything they could think of: their families, their childhoods, their futures, their likes and dislikes and favorites. Somehow he felt like he had known Arthur so much longer than just a few short weeks. It was crazy how fast he was falling for him.

But one thing they still hadn’t done was kiss, and it made Merlin nervous. The first night Arthur hadn’t seemed to expect it, and so he let it be, not wanting to rush him. Then the second date Merlin had been sure it would happen. They had held hands on their walk back to campus and Arthur kept glancing at him. Merlin was pretty sure he’d been giving off the right signals all night, so he thought it was a sure thing. But then at the critical moment Arthur had let go and said goodnight without so much as a kiss on the cheek. Merlin was starting to feel anxious.

He knew Arthur had never dated a guy before. They had discussed it a little, though Arthur seemed uncomfortable talking about it. Maybe Arthur didn’t want to kiss him, maybe he had decided that his feelings were only platonic after all, and was waiting for the right time to tell Merlin. Or maybe he just didn’t know how to go about it.

Merlin decided that it was at least worth a try. If Arthur wasn’t attracted to him in that way he may as well find out now, before he let his hopes get any higher (and before Gwen started inviting everyone she knew to their wedding).

Merlin started by leaning closer to Arthur so their shoulders and knees touched. Arthur continued to laugh at the screen and didn’t seem to notice. So much for subtle. He leaned even farther, pressing their sides fully against each other, his hand brushing lightly against Arthur’s thigh from where it rested on his own leg.

Arthur took notice at that. Merlin could feel his body stiffen, and he turned to look at Merlin warily. He looked frightened, like he had been caught in a trap and didn’t know how to get himself out. Merlin felt like a prize idiot. Here he was practically throwing himself at Arthur who clearly wasn’t interested.

“Sorry,” Merlin mumbled, moving to slide himself back down the couch.

But then an arm came up and wrapped around his shoulder, holding him firmly in place, and the hand resting on his leg was enveloped by warm skin. Merlin stayed perfectly still, not wanting to disturb the tentative peace and frighten Arthur off. It was like he had finally coaxed a shy animal into letting him pet it, but any sudden movements might send it scurrying away. He let himself relax into the embrace, contouring himself to the space at Arthur’s side, but not venturing any further.

They remained like that for what felt like forever, but was probably closer to ten minutes. Arthur rubbed his thumb lazily over the back of Merlin’s hand, but that was the only movement. It was nice, but it made Merlin antsy, because it just wasn’t enough. He probably should have been grateful for this much, but having a little contact made him greedy for more.

It was time to push his luck. Merlin moved slowly, trying to draw Arthur’s attention without startling him. He angled himself so he could look at Arthur’s profile, which was still tense, his jaw clenched tight. He moved in closer so his chin rested near the hollow between Arthur’s shoulder and neck, desperately holding himself back from licking a long line up that bronze skin. That would definitely be taking it too far right now.

Arthur shifted nervously and looked over see what Merlin was up to. When he turned his face Merlin’s own was only inches away. Merlin’s breath caught in his throat at the suddenness of it, and he could see Arthur’s eyes go wide in the flickering light of the television. He could feel himself blushing at Arthur’s obvious surprise, and was sure he had made a total ass of himself again, trying to sneak up on Arthur so desperately.

But then their eyes met and all other thoughts ceased. Because Arthur was looking at him with that look, the universal, unambiguous sign that someone wants to kiss you. There’s no mistaking that look, and even though Merlin had only seen it a few times before, he would recognize it anywhere. Then Arthur licked his lips unconsciously, his gaze flicking between Merlin’s eyes and his mouth, and Merlin couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

Merlin leaned in the last few inches slowly, giving Arthur time to realize what he was doing and pull away if he didn’t want this. But Arthur didn’t move and suddenly their lips met in a soft touch. It was a chaste kiss, mouths closed and lips a little dry, but it was wonderful. Arthur’s lips were warm and full and felt perfect against Merlin’s own. It lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away, eyes sliding back open, though he couldn’t remember closing them.

Arthur was blushing and looking completely bewildered, like he wasn’t sure what had just happened. But he didn’t look disgusted, so Merlin took that as a positive sign. He waited for Arthur to say something, biting his bottom lip anxiously. He had made the first move, made his desires clear, and now it was up to Arthur to decide what he wanted.

Merlin was caught by surprise when Arthur made his answer unmistakably clear, leaning back in and capturing his lips in a rush, and suddenly they were kissing for real. It was a little messy, a little over-eager, but it was absolutely glorious, and Merlin just wanted more, of all of it.

Once Arthur got over his initial shock he proved that he knew what he was doing. He lavished attention on each of Merlin’s lips in turn, taking the plump bottom lips between his own and sucking on it lightly, making Merlin shiver. Arthur’s hands reached up to cup Merlin’s jaw, fingertips tracing small circles over the sensitive skin just behind his ears. Merlin’s hands found their way into Arthur’s hair, which was so much softer than his own, and he was almost distracted by the feeling of it sliding between his fingers. Arthur seemed to approve of this, pulling them closer together until Merlin was practically in his lap.

Arthur’s lips were gentle but demanding, licking teasingly at Merlin’s bottom lip, making him gasp and part his lips slightly. Arthur took this as an invitation to explore the sensitive skin of his inner lip, patiently coaxing Merlin’s tongue out to meet his own. After that it was a confusion of lips and tongues and lightly nipping teeth, and Merlin could barely remember to breathe, because it seemed to be the very last thing on his mind right now. Arthur’s hands continued to explore his neck and shoulders and Merlin felt so many sensations at once that he was convinced he was going to fly apart.

When they finally broke apart again they were sprawled haphazardly on the couch, Merlin pulled onto Arthur’s chest, limbs intertwined. Merlin chuckled awkwardly, trying to arrange himself into a slightly more dignified position, though Arthur didn’t let him move very far.

Arthur was smiling and running his thumb over Merlin’s cheek and darkened lips, fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck. Merlin was content to stay like that for the rest of his life.

“That was... brilliant,” Arthur breathed, voice husky, lips deliciously swollen. It sent a shiver down Merlin’s spine.

Merlin rolled his eyes playfully. “You sound surprised,” he replied, though his attempted sarcasm was undermined by his ridiculous grin.

Arthur looked sheepish. “I thought it would be different… you know…” he motioned vaguely between them, but Merlin understood what he meant.

“I wouldn’t really know,” he replied honestly. He had no idea what kissing a girl was like, except for the few times Gwen had kissed him, but that was more like kissing his mother, nothing at all like this. “Was it?” he asked, curious, but also wary.

“Yeah,” Arthur sighed, and Merlin felt his spirits fall. Of course it would be different, it was only logical. Arthur was used to girls’ softer mouths and smaller frames. Merlin didn’t know what to say.

Arthur slid his fingers forward to take hold of Merlin’s chin, tilting it up so he could look him in the eyes. “It was even better,” he amended, and Merlin’s nervousness gave way to a relieved smile.

“It was pretty amazing,” Merlin agreed, feeling himself blush, and Arthur beamed up at him. “But you know what they say about practice,” he teased, with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“It does a body good?” Arthur answered, fingers playing with Merlin’s hair again.

“Yeah, something like that,” Merlin agreed, leaning back in for another kiss. He could feel Arthur’s smile curling against his lips for a brief moment before he was kissing him eagerly once again.

They ended up hopelessly tangled together again, but Merlin didn’t mind in the least.

****

Merlin met Arthur’s friends a week later. He had suggested one of Arthur’s footy matches, since it would be a casual atmosphere, and Lance and Gwen would be there, providing some mutual connections so Merlin wouldn’t be totally on his own. Arthur had warned Merlin that his friends could be a little rowdy, but they just liked to joke around, and didn’t mean anything by it. That didn’t really help Merlin’s nerves.

Gwen and Merlin showed up together shortly before the match began, and Gwen trotted off to wish Lance good luck, leaving Merlin standing by the sidelines shuffling his feet. He gave Arthur a hesitant wave. Before he knew what was happening, Arthur had jogged over to say hello, and gave Merlin a quick kiss, which left him blushing furiously as someone shouted catcalls behind them. Merlin whispered a quick “good luck,” because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Merlin and Gwen watched from the sidelines, and even though she had to explain some of the more complicated rules to him, Merlin found himself getting into it. Gwen cheered enthusiastically, and Merlin joined in whenever Arthur scored a goal, though he returned to blushing when Arthur insisted on waving at them excitedly. He just knew everyone was looking at him.

The game ended in a victory for the Knights, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Gwen rushed forward to congratulate Lance and Merlin followed behind cautiously. The guys were all gathered around the bench, cooling off and having a drink. Arthur spotted Merlin and jogged over to meet him, grabbing his hand and dragging him over the huddled group.

“Guys,” Arthur announced, clearing his throat to get their attention. Curious eyes turned on him and Merlin could feel himself blushing. Now that the moment was upon him, he wasn’t sure this was such a good idea. He knew it was important to Arthur that they all get along, but what if they didn’t like him? Arthur continued to hold his hand, which made it a bit easier, but Merlin was still practically shaking as he surveyed Arthur’s friends.

“This is Merlin,” Arthur announced, and Merlin could see that he was blushing a little as well. “Merlin, this is Elyan, Gwaine, and Leon,” Arthur continued, pointing to each man in turn.

Elyan nodded his acknowledgment, stepping forward to pat Merlin on the shoulder and offer his welcome. Merlin tried to smile back, though it felt a bit weak. Gwaine stepped forward as well, eyeing Merlin carefully. Merlin felt like he was being appraised, and didn’t know what to do except return the gaze as steadily as he could, hoping he passed whatever kind of test this was.

Finally Gwaine broke into a crazy grin, pulling Merlin into a rough hug which caught him off guard and sent him toppling into Gwaine’s chest. Arthur spluttered in protest, but Gwaine just laughed and ruffled Merlin’s hair, like they were old friends. Merlin had no idea what to do other than go along with it.

“So, you’re the one who’s been driving Arthur crazy this whole time, huh? You shoulda seen the boy, he was right mess!” Gwaine exclaimed, releasing Merlin but keeping a hand in his hair, petting him like a puppy. It reminded Merlin of the way Gwen sometimes patted him, and he didn’t particularly mind, though Arthur seemed to be silently fuming. His words, however, were highly intriguing.

“Driving Arthur crazy? Me?” Merlin parroted dumbly.

Gwaine looked ready to launch into a long and doubtless very entertaining story, judging by the look of relish on his face, but Arthur cut him off.

“Gwaine here likes to make up stories, Merlin, you should never listen to a thing he says. The man is a compulsive liar.”

Gwaine just laughed and didn’t bother to deny the accusations, instead throwing Merlin a conspiratorial wink. “We’ll have a drink together sometime, Merlin, and I’ll tell you anything you wanna know about Arthur,” he offered, giving Arthur a mischievous look. Arthur aimed an open-handed smack at the back of his head, but Gwaine ducked, moving swiftly out of range.

“Really, Merlin, call me sometime!” he shouted, following Elyan off the field and whooping with delight. Merlin didn’t quite know what to make of him, but he was sure that getting to know Gwaine certainly wouldn’t be boring.

“He is crazy, you should definitely stay away from him,” Arthur deadpanned, fingers flattening Merlin’s hair back down.

“I think I like him,” Merlin mused and Arthur just sighed, rolling his eyes.

Leon approached them next, waiting until the others had cleared out. He gazed at Merlin with a searching look, much as Gwaine had, but much more intense. Merlin could tell this was a critical moment.

“Merlin, this is Leon,” Arthur repeated, and they shook hands. Arthur had already told Merlin all about his best friend, including adorable stories of their childhood adventures. Merlin understood that Leon was important to Arthur just as Gwen was to him, so he knew it was crucial that he make a good impression.

Leon continued to watch him for a few moments, and Merlin shifted uncomfortably under his earnest gaze.

“You care about Arthur?” Leon finally asked, his gruff voice catching Merlin off guard.

“Very much,” Merlin answered truthfully, too stunned to think of anything more eloquent. He felt Arthur shift beside him, but he was too focused to be embarrassed.

Leon nodded. “Me too,” he replied, looking Merlin in the eye. Merlin had a feeling that they had come to some kind of understanding, but the moment passed, and then Leon was grinning at him shyly from beneath his shaggy beard. He suddenly reminded Merlin of a cuddly teddy bear.

Arthur seemed relieved too and let go of Merlin’s hand to go gather his things, leaving the two of them alone. Leon continued to study Merlin for a few moments and Merlin wasn’t sure what to do now, but then before he realized it Leon had slung an arm around his shoulders and had started rattling a mile a minute. Merlin couldn’t follow most of what he was saying at first, his mind still reeling, but then he heard the word “narwhal” and it seemed to click.

After that Arthur was totally forgotten as they launched into a discussion about unicorns and robots and video games, apparently interests they had in common.

“Hey, wait for me!” Arthur called, jogging to catch up to where Leon had steered Merlin back towards the campus.

As Arthur approached Leon leaned close to whisper to Merlin in mock-confidential tones. “You know, if Arthur ever gives you any trouble you can come to me, I’ll put him in his place,” he said, throwing threatening looks at Arthur and making Merlin laugh. Arthur huffed his indignation and Merlin gave him an appraising look.

“Thanks, Leon, but I think I can keep him in line,” Merlin replied, sending Leon into a peal of laughter and Arthur smiling in grudging acknowledgment.

Arthur and Leon exchanged a weighted look that Merlin couldn’t read, and then Leon’s arm was gone from his shoulder.

“Well, Merlin, I guess I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?” Leon said, turning to give them a knowing smile as he set off for the dorm. “I’ll lend you that movie next time,” he called back over his shoulder, and Merlin waved his thanks.

Once he was out of sight Arthur pulled Merlin closer, slipping an arm around his waist. Merlin had the distinct impression that Arthur was reasserting his claim, though he didn’t mind.

“I like him too,” Merlin stated happily, turning to give Arthur his brightest smile. He had hoped they would get along tolerably, but already he felt a real connection with Leon. It was a huge relief.

“Yes, I saw how well you too got along. Are you sure you didn’t choose the wrong roommate?” Arthur asked, his tone playful. Merlin was sure he was pleased despite his pouting.

Merlin screwed up his face like he was thinking seriously. “Now that you mention it...” he drawled, and Arthur snuck his hand under Merlin’s thin shirt to tickle his side, quickly breaking his composure. Merlin didn’t know how Arthur managed it, but within a few days he had pinpointed all of Merlin’s most ticklish spots and now used them to his unfair advantage.

“Prat!” Merlin spluttered, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but Arthur held firm, smoothing his hand apologetically over the sensitive skin.

Merlin turned to glare at him and Arthur swooped in for a quick kiss, wiping away his protests.

“Fine,” Merlin sighed dramatically, “I guess I’ll have to make do with you.”

“Yeah,” Arthur chuckled as they continued walking, “I think we’ll make do just fine.”

****















THE END (for real this time)

I just wanted to say once again:



Thanks guys :D

ETA: there is now a follow-up one shot: The Bed!