10 Years Ago I was 21
and my biggest wishes were to sing with the glee club forever, read YA novels for a living, and become a housewife. 10 years later and I’m not a housewife, but I did get two out of three, considerably muffling the at-my-age-mom-had-her-4th-baby-freak-out.
This is most definitely NOT a best of the decade playlist (some songs don't even belong to the last decade).That several of the songs that jumped to the front of my memory as I went through each year of the past decade border on mainstream cheesiness speaks volumes, I know (In fact, the second song makes me cringe. Talk about laying your heart on a platter. If you are anything like me, skip it and just read the write-up). But I’ve accepted long ago that I am only cool in my dreams and so for you, Maggie & Angs, I sing the truth with my tomatina fez.
1. (2000) You - Karen Carpenter
Our last concert in Spain at the end of a 2-month European tour. We were wearing that crazy zambo costume - fuschia, bright blues, blood reds, green like trees, and mango yellows. We were sick to death of this song, having sung it for every wedding, every informal Ateneo event & at countless concerts for four years. But on this last day of the best months of our lives, we loved this song.
By this point in the concert not a dry eye was in sight. Onyl could barely sing his solo. Sir Joel rolled his eyes and smiled, every graceful wave of his arms and beat of his hands keeping us from falling apart. Mimi choked on the words, bowed her head and dissolved into tears, to our horror creating a domino effect. The Spanish audience smiled widely and found themselves crying as well without really understanding why. Ate Dada at the blessed end turned to Onyl to say, “ANG CHAKA MO!”
That was the first time I cried on stage. That was the day I knew Glee Club had become family.
2. (2001) I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
The Tent at Marktoberdorf, Germany. Choristers getting drunk at the end of 3 days of grueling competition, singing drinking songs at the tops of our lungs in dozens of languages and not caring if we lost our voices. Somehow the Germans ended up wearing the Japanese choir’s costumes. Deepa...disappeared. Ayie, in a desperate attempt to shake off a stalker, pulled Robin’s arm and said “He’s my boyfriend.” Robin, in the process of picking up a gay lovah, coldly looked her up and down, turned to the stalker and said “You can dance with her if you want to.” Mimi taking her first sip of beer, giggling and saying, “sarap!”. Aui & Jd and their battle with ‘bubog!”. Trying to keep an eye out for ‘kleinest’ Maggie but never knowing where she was (where were you?). Chris, Jonel, May Ann and myself, running after Sir Jojo as he left on the transport, screaming “Motherrr!! We love you! Hwag mo kaming iwan!!!”. Sir Jojo, scandalized, “Tumahimik kayo!”
And suddenly this song. I’m not a big fan of R&B, but when a tent-full of choral singers turns to the stage to sing along with the band oh my god how could I keep my voice to myself? We were drunk and we were weeping and we were on top of the world. And then Gp’s voice rose above it all: “GO BLUE EAGLEEEES!!!”
Like I said, we were drunk. Gloriously so. The next day we found out we won first place. Cue R.Kelly.
3. (2002) 66 - The Afghan Whigs
Ramon had given me the blue cd mix before we had started dating. In the hotel room, nearly a year later, while everyone was basking under the Boracay sun, I popped that blue cd into my discman and for the first time realized that it was a love letter. “I gave it to you, wondering if you would figure out that I wanted to be with you.” That was how it was in the beginning. I used to walk in just like smoke.
4. (2003) Momentum - Aimee Mann
It was after midnight. We were sitting on the floor in the living room, my brother’s cds strewn around us, poring over lyric sheets and chord guides. We had so much fun learning this song together. The irony of the last line didn’t escape us, but we laughed it off. In the cover of deepest night, we could pretend that no one else existed and we pretended that we could love this way forever.
5. (2004) Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
I learned this song by heart because he had learned it on guitar. Every time we sang it I had a feeling it was a not-so-secret message to me. I lay on my bed, listening to Jeff Buckley croon & cry & felt myself harden inside. Thank God that ended. Thank God I could begin all over again.
6. (2005) I Was a Kaleidoscope - Death Cab for Cutie
Mikkel was at the wheel, Geli was the music girl, Krista was telling hospital stories. I was staring out the window, spacing out as usual. Geli’s voice cut into my spaciness, “Ate, ate! Listen to this song!” She was so excited to share with us something she loved. For the first time in quite a while, the four of us had something new to enjoy together. “Ang lungkot naman nito,” said Krista. “But it’s so pretty.,” said Geli. Within seconds we learned the lyrics, and I don’t think there ever was a more cheerful rendition of this song.
7. (2006) Tout D’oucement - Feist
A rainy afternoon in the cold, tiny office of Tahanan Books for Young Readers. Fran had Feist playing in the background as we drank our cups of coffee and pored over the draft of The Night Monkeys. An afternoon of reading manuscripts and admiring illustrations, and the words “This is it. This is what I want to do” playing like a song in my heart.
8. (2007) Young Folks - Peter, Bjorn & John
Karo called it the House of Happiness. The flags of our countries hung on the living room wall - France, Germany, Korea, England, the Philippines, Argentina. After dinner, Jacques put on his party mix and slapped his drums. Marie, Karo and I hooted along on the kazoos he had given us, making noise like kids with torotots on New Year’s Eve. Alice and Gyeyoung danced - Alice gracefully, Gyeyoung crazily. Thomas made coffee, brought out the cheese, and rolled his own smokes. I laughed a lot and sang a lot and felt in my bones that this was my Golden Year. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was exactly who I wanted to be.
9. (2008) My Emptiness - Ciudad
Overheard while gathering my music pieces after choir rehearsal:
Tito Raul to Ate Dada: Nalulungkot ako na malungkot pa rin si Gutsy. Ang ganda nyang tao.
I kissed them goodbye and walked to my car, where my dad was waiting for me with a hug. I tried to stop myself from crying on his shirt.
10. (2009) Fascination - Alphabeat
On a high after a good Rockeoke night, I wasn’t ready to stop singing. Quark and I got in the car, switched the iPod on, this joyous beat began and we fell into the boy-girl-singing-sort-of-dancing thing. I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Strangely enough I wondered if my eyes were shining, because I read it so often in YA books and I felt just that happy. “We have to sing all the songs we want to sing together!” Quark said, and we did until we rolled up to my front door. Time was flying fast and there was no room for anything but joy. And that night, when a boy and a girl were singing in a car, was one of the best nights of my life.
11. (2009) Everyone Needs an Editor - Mates of State
Walking on Macleay Street, staring at the grey sky. Too many deaths of all kinds this year. Too many goodbyes, too much sorrow. And also, too much newness. Good, strange, and starkly new. Wonderful, terrible newness that left me feeling, more than anything, lonely. And that was new too.
Walking on Macleay Street, it started to drizzle, and I knew that all I wanted was for someone to answer when I sang “I color the sky with you.” In spite of the haze in my heart I knew that ‘someday’ was firmly fixed in each strong beat.
This is for Maggie, whose playlist has so much more street cred because she is that much more awesome.
Listen to or make your own playlists here.
This is most definitely NOT a best of the decade playlist (some songs don't even belong to the last decade).That several of the songs that jumped to the front of my memory as I went through each year of the past decade border on mainstream cheesiness speaks volumes, I know (In fact, the second song makes me cringe. Talk about laying your heart on a platter. If you are anything like me, skip it and just read the write-up). But I’ve accepted long ago that I am only cool in my dreams and so for you, Maggie & Angs, I sing the truth with my tomatina fez.
1. (2000) You - Karen Carpenter
Our last concert in Spain at the end of a 2-month European tour. We were wearing that crazy zambo costume - fuschia, bright blues, blood reds, green like trees, and mango yellows. We were sick to death of this song, having sung it for every wedding, every informal Ateneo event & at countless concerts for four years. But on this last day of the best months of our lives, we loved this song.
By this point in the concert not a dry eye was in sight. Onyl could barely sing his solo. Sir Joel rolled his eyes and smiled, every graceful wave of his arms and beat of his hands keeping us from falling apart. Mimi choked on the words, bowed her head and dissolved into tears, to our horror creating a domino effect. The Spanish audience smiled widely and found themselves crying as well without really understanding why. Ate Dada at the blessed end turned to Onyl to say, “ANG CHAKA MO!”
That was the first time I cried on stage. That was the day I knew Glee Club had become family.
2. (2001) I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
The Tent at Marktoberdorf, Germany. Choristers getting drunk at the end of 3 days of grueling competition, singing drinking songs at the tops of our lungs in dozens of languages and not caring if we lost our voices. Somehow the Germans ended up wearing the Japanese choir’s costumes. Deepa...disappeared. Ayie, in a desperate attempt to shake off a stalker, pulled Robin’s arm and said “He’s my boyfriend.” Robin, in the process of picking up a gay lovah, coldly looked her up and down, turned to the stalker and said “You can dance with her if you want to.” Mimi taking her first sip of beer, giggling and saying, “sarap!”. Aui & Jd and their battle with ‘bubog!”. Trying to keep an eye out for ‘kleinest’ Maggie but never knowing where she was (where were you?). Chris, Jonel, May Ann and myself, running after Sir Jojo as he left on the transport, screaming “Motherrr!! We love you! Hwag mo kaming iwan!!!”. Sir Jojo, scandalized, “Tumahimik kayo!”
And suddenly this song. I’m not a big fan of R&B, but when a tent-full of choral singers turns to the stage to sing along with the band oh my god how could I keep my voice to myself? We were drunk and we were weeping and we were on top of the world. And then Gp’s voice rose above it all: “GO BLUE EAGLEEEES!!!”
Like I said, we were drunk. Gloriously so. The next day we found out we won first place. Cue R.Kelly.
3. (2002) 66 - The Afghan Whigs
Ramon had given me the blue cd mix before we had started dating. In the hotel room, nearly a year later, while everyone was basking under the Boracay sun, I popped that blue cd into my discman and for the first time realized that it was a love letter. “I gave it to you, wondering if you would figure out that I wanted to be with you.” That was how it was in the beginning. I used to walk in just like smoke.
4. (2003) Momentum - Aimee Mann
It was after midnight. We were sitting on the floor in the living room, my brother’s cds strewn around us, poring over lyric sheets and chord guides. We had so much fun learning this song together. The irony of the last line didn’t escape us, but we laughed it off. In the cover of deepest night, we could pretend that no one else existed and we pretended that we could love this way forever.
5. (2004) Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
I learned this song by heart because he had learned it on guitar. Every time we sang it I had a feeling it was a not-so-secret message to me. I lay on my bed, listening to Jeff Buckley croon & cry & felt myself harden inside. Thank God that ended. Thank God I could begin all over again.
6. (2005) I Was a Kaleidoscope - Death Cab for Cutie
Mikkel was at the wheel, Geli was the music girl, Krista was telling hospital stories. I was staring out the window, spacing out as usual. Geli’s voice cut into my spaciness, “Ate, ate! Listen to this song!” She was so excited to share with us something she loved. For the first time in quite a while, the four of us had something new to enjoy together. “Ang lungkot naman nito,” said Krista. “But it’s so pretty.,” said Geli. Within seconds we learned the lyrics, and I don’t think there ever was a more cheerful rendition of this song.
7. (2006) Tout D’oucement - Feist
A rainy afternoon in the cold, tiny office of Tahanan Books for Young Readers. Fran had Feist playing in the background as we drank our cups of coffee and pored over the draft of The Night Monkeys. An afternoon of reading manuscripts and admiring illustrations, and the words “This is it. This is what I want to do” playing like a song in my heart.
8. (2007) Young Folks - Peter, Bjorn & John
Karo called it the House of Happiness. The flags of our countries hung on the living room wall - France, Germany, Korea, England, the Philippines, Argentina. After dinner, Jacques put on his party mix and slapped his drums. Marie, Karo and I hooted along on the kazoos he had given us, making noise like kids with torotots on New Year’s Eve. Alice and Gyeyoung danced - Alice gracefully, Gyeyoung crazily. Thomas made coffee, brought out the cheese, and rolled his own smokes. I laughed a lot and sang a lot and felt in my bones that this was my Golden Year. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was exactly who I wanted to be.
9. (2008) My Emptiness - Ciudad
Overheard while gathering my music pieces after choir rehearsal:
Tito Raul to Ate Dada: Nalulungkot ako na malungkot pa rin si Gutsy. Ang ganda nyang tao.
I kissed them goodbye and walked to my car, where my dad was waiting for me with a hug. I tried to stop myself from crying on his shirt.
10. (2009) Fascination - Alphabeat
On a high after a good Rockeoke night, I wasn’t ready to stop singing. Quark and I got in the car, switched the iPod on, this joyous beat began and we fell into the boy-girl-singing-sort-of-dancing thing. I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Strangely enough I wondered if my eyes were shining, because I read it so often in YA books and I felt just that happy. “We have to sing all the songs we want to sing together!” Quark said, and we did until we rolled up to my front door. Time was flying fast and there was no room for anything but joy. And that night, when a boy and a girl were singing in a car, was one of the best nights of my life.
11. (2009) Everyone Needs an Editor - Mates of State
Walking on Macleay Street, staring at the grey sky. Too many deaths of all kinds this year. Too many goodbyes, too much sorrow. And also, too much newness. Good, strange, and starkly new. Wonderful, terrible newness that left me feeling, more than anything, lonely. And that was new too.
Walking on Macleay Street, it started to drizzle, and I knew that all I wanted was for someone to answer when I sang “I color the sky with you.” In spite of the haze in my heart I knew that ‘someday’ was firmly fixed in each strong beat.
This is for Maggie, whose playlist has so much more street cred because she is that much more awesome.
Listen to or make your own playlists here.