my heart hurts
i had the worst day ever in my entire life.
around 3:45 this morning my mom woke up to my dog heidi breathing real heavily. she wouldn't get up or move. i'd try to stand her up and she'd go right back down. she'd look up at me every once in a while.. she'd get up and try to move to a different spot.. and when she moved there was a little bit of blood on the floor. then she moved again and there was even more blood so i rolled her over and she started bleeding even more. so we tried to rush her to the emergency vet. i held on to her as her breathing got less and less and her tongue was turning so white.. she looked up at me and then she was gone. gone in just a few seconds.. in my arms. that was the worst experience i've ever had. her body going limp in my arms so lifeless. i'd rather break my arm over and over and over and over again rather than have my heidi dying in my arms. the only time i haven't been crying today was when i was knocked out from the xanax .. even then i was still dreaming about her. it just doesn't seem real. everywhere i look in the house i can't find her. its so quiet without her here. my heart hurts so bad. i can barely breath .. my eyes are so swollen from crying so much.
R.I.P. Heidi, my baby girl
4-9-07
i miss you so much
around 3:45 this morning my mom woke up to my dog heidi breathing real heavily. she wouldn't get up or move. i'd try to stand her up and she'd go right back down. she'd look up at me every once in a while.. she'd get up and try to move to a different spot.. and when she moved there was a little bit of blood on the floor. then she moved again and there was even more blood so i rolled her over and she started bleeding even more. so we tried to rush her to the emergency vet. i held on to her as her breathing got less and less and her tongue was turning so white.. she looked up at me and then she was gone. gone in just a few seconds.. in my arms. that was the worst experience i've ever had. her body going limp in my arms so lifeless. i'd rather break my arm over and over and over and over again rather than have my heidi dying in my arms. the only time i haven't been crying today was when i was knocked out from the xanax .. even then i was still dreaming about her. it just doesn't seem real. everywhere i look in the house i can't find her. its so quiet without her here. my heart hurts so bad. i can barely breath .. my eyes are so swollen from crying so much.
R.I.P. Heidi, my baby girl
4-9-07
i miss you so much