(no subject)
So I woke up at 5:30 on sunday morning and got on a plane. The night before Matt and I had an argument so I slept for a total of like 2 hours if that. Then when I got here I had a whole shit load of stuff to do and Matt STILL hasn't called. Nobody has. :( It makes me sad. I miss everyone. I miss Matt. Friday night when we had tha argument it sucked. I told him that if he goes back to all of the stuff he was doing before that thats all he would ever thinkg abut because he makes it like his life. He said that it wasnt true and that he would think of me when he was with me. So that didnt make too much ense to me, because I think about him wether he is with me or not and I think that's what people do when they are together. He doesnt love me. He says that he does but he doesnt. And that hurts. I DO love him and he doesnt know what he is throwing away or how much i want to give him. I dont think we will be much longer if this whole thing starts agauin. I am SO SICK of being depressed and hurt and thinkig only of someone who doesnt think of me. It hurts so much. My whole fucking LIFE is one big deppressed tear that hold close t me and wait for it to totally take me under and drown me. I hate it. I want it to be a good relationship. I just wish he loved me. I don't want to keep thinking that he will or hoping. It's nevr going to happen. I don't know why I wait. He loves other things much more. Imagine how that feels.
call me on the cel people. Colorado is hella cold.
love always
me