salvation assistance
http://www.belgiumkneewarmers.com/2008/11/thanksgiving-ii.html
that's a good short read that i can not only relate to, but had been meaning to write about in here for some time. it basically says what i was gonna say
cycling saved me. there was a time, years and years ago, when i didnt want to BE. i never dipped low enough into a danger zone but i knew the where and the how if things ever got bad enough. fortunately, things never did and i came through those dark days with renewed energy and learned many many things about who i was capable of being that i never would have known. its amazing what can happen if you just keep hanging on for 'one more day'
and then after a while, i guess i just got bored. life became stagnant. i wouldn't say i was unhappy, but there just didnt seem like anything else to do. i had money, could pull girls (well, not ones of value, but girls nonetheless), had friends. every night was the same thing over and over with no real progression. good times but life just held no value. so i put myself on a path to do myself in in a very different way. by living life as hard as possible. do this, drink that, do her, drive, drive, drive. if i couldn't knock down the wall, i was damn sure gonna smash into it as hard as i could.
and then i got on a bike. i rode a little and i wasnt very good but it was a challenge so i kept riding. and i got a little better. and i rode a little more. and then i rode with people that were so so much better than i was and i wanted to be better than them. i had to be. i started riding more and more and more and got better and better and better. and i had a decent bike, but i could make it faster. and so i did. and i just kept pushing myself harder and harder.
one day i turned around and realized i had goals again. direction and purpose in life. a dear close personal friend of mine took a thought right out of my head one day when he said he just wanted something to make blood for blood songs not mean so much. and i KNEW this. for MONTHS i've been thinking this. that i have something in life to help make blood for blood obsolete. i know that sounds so weird to say about one of my favorite bands ever but you have to understand blood for blood to know that the goal in life HAS to be disconnecting from the vast majority of their songs.
cycling has brought that to me. it hasn't fixed things 100% (i want someone to smile at me...and know that they meant it) but things are getting better. i hit snags from time to time, sure. i probably always will. but anything that helps put light back into dead eyes is a welcomed gift. its a rope thrown down a well. it will help me climb out.
that's a good short read that i can not only relate to, but had been meaning to write about in here for some time. it basically says what i was gonna say
cycling saved me. there was a time, years and years ago, when i didnt want to BE. i never dipped low enough into a danger zone but i knew the where and the how if things ever got bad enough. fortunately, things never did and i came through those dark days with renewed energy and learned many many things about who i was capable of being that i never would have known. its amazing what can happen if you just keep hanging on for 'one more day'
and then after a while, i guess i just got bored. life became stagnant. i wouldn't say i was unhappy, but there just didnt seem like anything else to do. i had money, could pull girls (well, not ones of value, but girls nonetheless), had friends. every night was the same thing over and over with no real progression. good times but life just held no value. so i put myself on a path to do myself in in a very different way. by living life as hard as possible. do this, drink that, do her, drive, drive, drive. if i couldn't knock down the wall, i was damn sure gonna smash into it as hard as i could.
and then i got on a bike. i rode a little and i wasnt very good but it was a challenge so i kept riding. and i got a little better. and i rode a little more. and then i rode with people that were so so much better than i was and i wanted to be better than them. i had to be. i started riding more and more and more and got better and better and better. and i had a decent bike, but i could make it faster. and so i did. and i just kept pushing myself harder and harder.
one day i turned around and realized i had goals again. direction and purpose in life. a dear close personal friend of mine took a thought right out of my head one day when he said he just wanted something to make blood for blood songs not mean so much. and i KNEW this. for MONTHS i've been thinking this. that i have something in life to help make blood for blood obsolete. i know that sounds so weird to say about one of my favorite bands ever but you have to understand blood for blood to know that the goal in life HAS to be disconnecting from the vast majority of their songs.
cycling has brought that to me. it hasn't fixed things 100% (i want someone to smile at me...and know that they meant it) but things are getting better. i hit snags from time to time, sure. i probably always will. but anything that helps put light back into dead eyes is a welcomed gift. its a rope thrown down a well. it will help me climb out.