its a beautiful letdown

[i_heart_y0u_]

I miss it. More than anything i miss being there, with those people. Im happiest there, i know this b/c its only then am i willing to get up at 7 just to have a quiet morning. to relax. I hate coming home more than anything. i never seem to be able to focus, i just can only concentrate on missing. I think i would feel better if i knew i was going up there soon. i love my cousins, i love my aunts, my family, the country, the beach, the pacific ocean, the different sand, the thinner air, the towns, the houses, that feeling of comfort i lack when im anywhere else. i hate it. i hate how i cant get over it. Everything just seems so much less complex, so simple. i miss being there with the people i love and care about most. i just want to go back, or know when im going back. This happened last time i came home. I got depressed. I knew itwould happen again. Im setting better goals, doing better things and becoming a better person. I saw my strengths and weaknesses on new years, and who people really are. You cant live in the past, i know that now. Childhood friendships may not last until adulthood like you thought and hoped they would. Im going to be less worried and stressed all the time, im going to focus on important things and not procrastinate. im hoping by doing all this ill get over this depression and be able to cope with every one and thing around me. I know who i want to be my problem is finding a way to get there and still know myself. i cant wait for COW i hope it helps.
<33 Tracey

Im painting my bathroom a deep cherry purple. It reminds me of home.