i like ppl that like what i like
i came across the ultimate composite of Will and Grace quotes other than the combined brains of ruth and i...here are sum of my faves:
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Grace: We're all here for you, right Karen?
Karen: Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
Jack: What?
Karen: You told your mother that Grace was your girlfriend, how could you?
Jack: But I didn't even know you when I made up that lie.
Karen: Oh yeah, but when you did, you should have broken up with her, and hooked up with me.
Jack: You're married, I'm gay.
Karen: Not in the lie.
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[Will, Jack and Karen are playing scrabble]
Will: Spramp is not a word Jack.
Jack: Yes it is. "Every morning I spramp my face with water"
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Karen: [on hiring Jack to play a straight man in a commercial] No one in the world would believe you're straight. You're as gay as a clutchpurse on Tony night. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And ya landed on a gay guy... and ya did 'em. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space.
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Jack: You shouldn't be dancing with him. He's not your stalker, your stalker is still at large.
Kevin Bacon: But you fingered this guy.
Jack: I did not. We were just holding hands. Your stalker has been throwing pebbles at your window for the past 15 minutes or maybe you didn't hear me because the music was so loud.
Kevin Bacon: You... you're my stalker.
Jack: I prefer the term 'Professional Crazed Fan'. A job that's a hell of a lot more satisfying than sewing Prada labels in your Old Navy shirts. Go get yourself a new assistant. If you need me, I'll be in your hamper.
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Jack: I don't know how much longer I can live with Will. I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he's like, Jack, get the hell out.
Karen: I know honey, Grace is driving me nuts too. She can't concentrate on work anymore, she just sits around all day, doodling pictures of people's houses, on these enormous sketch pads. And then, she's on the phone all the time ordering furniture. Honey, where's she going to put all that, huh? In those "houses" she's drawing?
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[Karen answers Jack's phone; it's Elliot and he wants to talk to Jack]
Jack: No, no, he's gonna - he's gonna try to get me to another one of his basketball games. It's just not my thing. Make up an excuse.
Karen: All right.
[into the phone]
Karen: Um, Elliot... Yeah, I've got some bad news. Jack and I were figure-skating and he plunged through the ice. Haven't heard from him since. Could I take a message? Okay. You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?
Jack: [runs over and grabs the phone] Brr, I'm back!
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Jack: You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace: Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.
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Will: You know, the female reproductive system is so amazing. It's a miracle, really. So complex. So beautiful.Yow! What is that thing? God! It looks like the bad guy in a science fiction movie.
Grace: Oh, please. Like your stuff looks like a box full of kittens? It don't.
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Cher: Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
Jack: Um I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look, is flawless.
Cher: Whatever.
Jack: Ohh. Working the attitude. OK, you're good.
Cher: I've had a lot of practice.
Jack: Hey hey. You're not that great Mister Sister. I do a better Cher than you.
Cher: Ya think so?
Jack: Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe"
Cher: Are you kidding me with this?
Jack: OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe"
Cher: Get a life.
[walks away then turns around]
Cher: [sings] If I could turn back time.
Jack: [clears throat to sing] If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe. Time hoooooooe. Time hoooooe. Time hoooooe.
Cher: [slaps Jack] Snap out of it!
[she leaves; Jack realizes who she really was and faints]
i figured i'd end on a Cher quote...
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Grace: We're all here for you, right Karen?
Karen: Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
Jack: What?
Karen: You told your mother that Grace was your girlfriend, how could you?
Jack: But I didn't even know you when I made up that lie.
Karen: Oh yeah, but when you did, you should have broken up with her, and hooked up with me.
Jack: You're married, I'm gay.
Karen: Not in the lie.
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[Will, Jack and Karen are playing scrabble]
Will: Spramp is not a word Jack.
Jack: Yes it is. "Every morning I spramp my face with water"
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Karen: [on hiring Jack to play a straight man in a commercial] No one in the world would believe you're straight. You're as gay as a clutchpurse on Tony night. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And ya landed on a gay guy... and ya did 'em. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space.
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Jack: You shouldn't be dancing with him. He's not your stalker, your stalker is still at large.
Kevin Bacon: But you fingered this guy.
Jack: I did not. We were just holding hands. Your stalker has been throwing pebbles at your window for the past 15 minutes or maybe you didn't hear me because the music was so loud.
Kevin Bacon: You... you're my stalker.
Jack: I prefer the term 'Professional Crazed Fan'. A job that's a hell of a lot more satisfying than sewing Prada labels in your Old Navy shirts. Go get yourself a new assistant. If you need me, I'll be in your hamper.
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Jack: I don't know how much longer I can live with Will. I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he's like, Jack, get the hell out.
Karen: I know honey, Grace is driving me nuts too. She can't concentrate on work anymore, she just sits around all day, doodling pictures of people's houses, on these enormous sketch pads. And then, she's on the phone all the time ordering furniture. Honey, where's she going to put all that, huh? In those "houses" she's drawing?
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[Karen answers Jack's phone; it's Elliot and he wants to talk to Jack]
Jack: No, no, he's gonna - he's gonna try to get me to another one of his basketball games. It's just not my thing. Make up an excuse.
Karen: All right.
[into the phone]
Karen: Um, Elliot... Yeah, I've got some bad news. Jack and I were figure-skating and he plunged through the ice. Haven't heard from him since. Could I take a message? Okay. You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?
Jack: [runs over and grabs the phone] Brr, I'm back!
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Jack: You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace: Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.
|
Will: You know, the female reproductive system is so amazing. It's a miracle, really. So complex. So beautiful.Yow! What is that thing? God! It looks like the bad guy in a science fiction movie.
Grace: Oh, please. Like your stuff looks like a box full of kittens? It don't.
|
Cher: Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
Jack: Um I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look, is flawless.
Cher: Whatever.
Jack: Ohh. Working the attitude. OK, you're good.
Cher: I've had a lot of practice.
Jack: Hey hey. You're not that great Mister Sister. I do a better Cher than you.
Cher: Ya think so?
Jack: Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe"
Cher: Are you kidding me with this?
Jack: OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe"
Cher: Get a life.
[walks away then turns around]
Cher: [sings] If I could turn back time.
Jack: [clears throat to sing] If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe. Time hoooooooe. Time hoooooe. Time hoooooe.
Cher: [slaps Jack] Snap out of it!
[she leaves; Jack realizes who she really was and faints]
i figured i'd end on a Cher quote...