Diary Entries, Part Two
Okay, I am going to post another two, I don't know if I am going to do that for all of them yet but for now it's easier.
February 4th 2008 12:30am
Dear Diary,
I feel myself slipping, I actually am starting to feel more depressed than usual. The past few weeks I have been feeling extra tired physically though. My last hematology appointment my blood level dropped to 7 something. Part of me hopes I'll get sick and die, there is just a little piece of me that doesn't. Vivian's BD was yesterday but I didn't see a point in trying to get anything because it's not like I see her or hear from her or Bianca alot. Bijal's BD is in 4 days and I know for sure I am getting her a card. On a last note I am really disappointed in Jessica. I haven't heard from her in about four months. Keondra said she might come up to see me and hopefully she will do that before I get sick.
April 12th 2008 10:50pm
Dear Diary,
I really need to stay up to date on this thing. Since last time I ended up being hospitalized because my blood level dropped to a 4. I really wish I would just die already, I am still waiting for me to not wake up. I guess that's why it's life, it's always so disappointing. Anyway Priyanka had a BD party today and I told mom last week that I wouldn't be going because no one remembered my BD. Bijal did and I'm sure that is the only reason why everyone else remembered. But hopefully since I wrote it down I'll be done with it. I am pissed as hell, but I don't need to dwell on it. Moving on...there is this guy named Brian who goes to my school he is so nice and really tall and has a really great smile. I was in his class a couple of quarters ago and last quarter we even talked a bit as he walked me to my car. But when he came into class he didn't even notice me! And he sat next to all of these black ladies and was talking to them and I was actually getting jealous! The last time I felt like that was with Aneesh and I soo don't want to waste another 13 years on a crush that won't come to pass. So at the end of class I walked over to the trash and as he was standing there I threw my cup away and left. And he still didn't acknowledge me! I think I will probably die before a guy that I like ever asks me out, how depressing is that? So I have decided to not notice him anymore since I'll just be wasting my time anyway. Jessica eventually called in case I didn't mention it. She says when she gets her tax refund she is going to try and get a few days off so she can come up here. I hope she can cause I really could use a friend. Keondra has a job at the hospital and she is married so she doesn't have a lot of free time. I hate living here, it's bad enough Bianca doesn't visit but now I can't even see my friends. I hate life.
So this is my last entry before they start to become about Brian, at least that's what I think. I tried to re-read through some old entries and for the most part they were about him.