Gee whiz.
It's starting to finally hit me that I'm really going to college soon. Yeah, it's all I've been talking about all summer, but now it's becoming so final...I had my last real performance with the 'noters today (and HAH! I finally made it through a performance this year without crying!!) and I leave in 11 days and people are going away and...high school's over. Being ridiculous and not having real responsibility is over. I am buying things so I can live on my own, I'm going to be in charge of my own schedule and won't have to check in with people....this is going to be weird.
And it's also kind of hitting me how dumb majoring in dance is. Sure, I love it...but what if I don't when I have to do it every day? What if I suck too hard? What if it's a complete waste of my time and money, because I will never be a professional? Oh, the normal insecurities are coming back...woe is me, right? I know it's easily resolved because changing your major is simple, but it is still creeping me out hardxcore. Just something I have to get used to, I guess. There's no sense in worrying about it until I really experience it, but I can't help it.
Basically, things are getting surreal and I'm finally grasping this whole moving away thing. I started packing yesterday. Things are getting final. I may never see some of these NH people again. SO WEIRD.
...But as insane as all this feels, I'm still really excited. It's worth taking a shot and adventuring in NYC and the dance world for a year, right? I would have regretted it if I had never tried. So when I bitch and moan to anyone about it...just remind me that I need to at least try it out. I know better, I just can't help feeling so anxious, I suppose.
However, I'm sure many upcoming college freshmen are feeling similar to me right now, so expanding even more on my hopes and worries is relatively pointless. Suffice it to say, I'm excited to see how this all turns out.
And it's also kind of hitting me how dumb majoring in dance is. Sure, I love it...but what if I don't when I have to do it every day? What if I suck too hard? What if it's a complete waste of my time and money, because I will never be a professional? Oh, the normal insecurities are coming back...woe is me, right? I know it's easily resolved because changing your major is simple, but it is still creeping me out hardxcore. Just something I have to get used to, I guess. There's no sense in worrying about it until I really experience it, but I can't help it.
Basically, things are getting surreal and I'm finally grasping this whole moving away thing. I started packing yesterday. Things are getting final. I may never see some of these NH people again. SO WEIRD.
...But as insane as all this feels, I'm still really excited. It's worth taking a shot and adventuring in NYC and the dance world for a year, right? I would have regretted it if I had never tried. So when I bitch and moan to anyone about it...just remind me that I need to at least try it out. I know better, I just can't help feeling so anxious, I suppose.
However, I'm sure many upcoming college freshmen are feeling similar to me right now, so expanding even more on my hopes and worries is relatively pointless. Suffice it to say, I'm excited to see how this all turns out.