(no subject)
and the trees were wispering on my walk this morning, with an overcast and windy cold breeze, and yellow-brown leaves scattered across the concrete and the little plots of grass that we call our front yards.
i wish i could burrow into the ground make myself a dirt cave and get comfy. i'm beginning to understand hibernation.
i feel like i've gotta send all this love somewhere...but there's no use trying to send it through the phone. i've been trying anyway, calling my family everyday and trying to have conversations with all of them in their busy lives. i guess i just need some real affection words to sooth me and i need to give away some of this love energy. i have such a need to give it. such a wild heart i have inside me.
i guess my soul just doesn't know what to do with itself. it feels like it doesn't have a purpose with no one to love. any display of love or desperation only to scare everyone but my closest of friends and my family at home. unfortunately most of my closest friends live far away, and so does my family.
aaron can you handle all of this affection and emotion? i know i take everything out on you as the boys have just become kind of unresponsive to me lately. i think i'm an overly passionate person.
i usually think of passion as a good thing, but i think it's actually my curse.
i'm so passionate that it's disabling.
i can't function without expressing intensity of emotion on a consistant basis.
without a lover or a network of very close friendships, i feel lost.
what do i do?
it all just builds up and overflows over and over and over.
i'm a ever-flowing faucet without a drain. what happens when the whole place floods?
i wish i could burrow into the ground make myself a dirt cave and get comfy. i'm beginning to understand hibernation.
i feel like i've gotta send all this love somewhere...but there's no use trying to send it through the phone. i've been trying anyway, calling my family everyday and trying to have conversations with all of them in their busy lives. i guess i just need some real affection words to sooth me and i need to give away some of this love energy. i have such a need to give it. such a wild heart i have inside me.
i guess my soul just doesn't know what to do with itself. it feels like it doesn't have a purpose with no one to love. any display of love or desperation only to scare everyone but my closest of friends and my family at home. unfortunately most of my closest friends live far away, and so does my family.
aaron can you handle all of this affection and emotion? i know i take everything out on you as the boys have just become kind of unresponsive to me lately. i think i'm an overly passionate person.
i usually think of passion as a good thing, but i think it's actually my curse.
i'm so passionate that it's disabling.
i can't function without expressing intensity of emotion on a consistant basis.
without a lover or a network of very close friendships, i feel lost.
what do i do?
it all just builds up and overflows over and over and over.
i'm a ever-flowing faucet without a drain. what happens when the whole place floods?