Fuck people
I was really happy to see Courtney on my break, it made me feel better after having a shitty time at work by then. I took a 45 minute break almost, and felt really bad about what happened. Real mature my friends at work are. "Hey lets go to the window and do shit that we dont know will piss off courtney and try to make her suck drew's dick, it'll be funny" They are so funny, let me tell you... I dont want her to stop going up there for my break... but maybe she will decide she really doesnt want to go up there anymore because of them. I dont know, when I think about it I feel like crap. She's the only reason I can be happy after having a bad time at work, what will I do if Im having a horrible time and she doesnt go up there? I'll let her do what she wants to do. I feel bad when she says shes used to that kind of stuff, I dont think its right to feel used to shit like that. Shes an amazing person. Im used to shit like that too, I just dont have people do it to me anymore. I dont know why, but they dont. I hate when people hate me though, it hurts. Maybe I dont have shit happen to me cause I pass it off as nothing now? Maybe Im numb to that kind of shit now after going through it for so long. Maybe Ive just gone through a different kind of shit the past year and a half. Im a pity-whore. It hurts to think that I mean nothing to anyone when Im at work, customer or employee. To think that when I talk to people there, Im nothing to them, just some errand boy who does shit for them to try and please them. Maybe if you thought about it the way I do. I failed Algebra for the 9 weeks of course, cause im lazy. So hopefully I dont get my ass grounded like hell. The rest of my grades were C's, so I dunno, Im just an average person.
I love Courtney, i just want her to be happy, without her I would be the nothingness Ive seen myself to be, amazing to no one yet dead to all. Im thankful for everything shes done for me. None of this unhappy post is her fault, I promise its not. I just hate everyone else, i feel like shit because of them. I hate them all, yet love her more than I could hate all that I do put together. She is my reason to keep on, I have nothing without her. Im in love with her, always. Please believe me. Please dont leave me, please.
I love Courtney, i just want her to be happy, without her I would be the nothingness Ive seen myself to be, amazing to no one yet dead to all. Im thankful for everything shes done for me. None of this unhappy post is her fault, I promise its not. I just hate everyone else, i feel like shit because of them. I hate them all, yet love her more than I could hate all that I do put together. She is my reason to keep on, I have nothing without her. Im in love with her, always. Please believe me. Please dont leave me, please.