(no subject)

[i_have_died_4u]

So today was really boring... yeah. I accidentally killed a mouse this morning, I felt so bad for the little guy. I think I stepped on his head, he was under my clothes so I really have no idea how it happened. I tried to save him but watched his last few bursts of agony before he finally calmed and died. I cant say how sad it was to watch, it was like, i tried to save him but I failed horribly. The only thing that has kept me happy and alive has been her. I just want to be close with her right now, lay with her for hours. I dont care about sex, to be honest I dont care much for it. In the past I felt nothing when I had sex. It was like oh okay, sex. I want it to mean something if it happens. I fear that she isnt happy, and that she could one day say fuck everything and take it all away. I will do anything I can to keep her happy, anything at all. Some things could be right away, some things would have to wait a little while, but I would do it. My happiness depends on her being happy, she is the only thing I have left that can make me really happy. I try to keep her happy because I WANT to... not because I feel obligated to, because I WANT to. I want to

Courtney, I love you. I will do anything i can to make you happy, just say it and I'll do it.