sometimes
i remember when i was little (probably 4 or 5), my family and i were at the beach. My mom had bought us this little blow-up beach ball. Ya know, one of those little colorful ones. It was really windy and the beach ball blew away and I didn't run after it. Later that night i got overwhelmingly sad because my mom had gone out of her way to buy us that beach ball and i just let it blow away without a second glance. I cried all night because I just let that miniscule gift from my mother just roll away. I felt like such a little brat, like I didn't deserve any presents from her ever again. I get so sad sometimes about silly things like this. It really is out of my control and I feel some of the strongest sadness from moments like that for no real reason. It's so silly. I think it has something to do with some weird connection to my mother. Aquarius love?
The point of this story is that I'm really sad right now because my mom bought me some groceries last week. She bought me a half-gallon of milk and I still have only had a few sips of it. It makes me so sad to think that I've almost wasted an entire half-gallon of milk that my mom went out of her way to buy for me. I'm gonna wake up and drink it in the morning maybe. I get so weird and uncomfortably grateful when people spend money on me, like i don't know how to handle it at all. It almost hurts watching my mom buy me clothes or my dad buy me something stupid that i said i wanted that one time for no real reason. And it's not even like they don't have money. They have plenty. This goes for everyone though, not just my parents. Whenever someone spends money on me I almost can't handle it. Maybe it's some weird independency issue. I have no idea.
It must be a really good sign that this is the only negative feeling I have right now. I'm so happy with my life right now that I could scream. I've got every single thing I want, that I HAVE wanted.
The point of this story is that I'm really sad right now because my mom bought me some groceries last week. She bought me a half-gallon of milk and I still have only had a few sips of it. It makes me so sad to think that I've almost wasted an entire half-gallon of milk that my mom went out of her way to buy for me. I'm gonna wake up and drink it in the morning maybe. I get so weird and uncomfortably grateful when people spend money on me, like i don't know how to handle it at all. It almost hurts watching my mom buy me clothes or my dad buy me something stupid that i said i wanted that one time for no real reason. And it's not even like they don't have money. They have plenty. This goes for everyone though, not just my parents. Whenever someone spends money on me I almost can't handle it. Maybe it's some weird independency issue. I have no idea.
It must be a really good sign that this is the only negative feeling I have right now. I'm so happy with my life right now that I could scream. I've got every single thing I want, that I HAVE wanted.