Unborn Children Beware.
There are many inconveniences in life. Getting a flat tire, being attacked by bears, being shit on by a flock of sparrows, and finding out that your building is about to be hit by a plane full of Muslim crusaders. But none can compare to the travesty that is teen pregnancy. It spreads like the black plague. Destroying civilizations that stand in it's wake. I was recently afflicted by this widespread epidemic. Here is my story...
I had to work three hours of overtime today. Not too bad considering that my Gestapo of a foreman wanted me to work a twelve hour day. But it was WHY I had to work overtime that made my blood pressure exceed physical limits. Basically, it was because my co-worker (whom is currently pregnant) is a rampant harlot. Pregnant women are usually a burden, but in the workplace, it's intolerable. We were assigned a job that would have normally take me about 20 minutes to complete BY MYSELF. The job took one hour to complete. ONE FUCKING HOUR TO WRAP 50 PACKAGES!!! That's about one package every minute and five seconds. Completely absurd. But then she had the audacity to ask me what 10% of 25,000 is. DID YOU FUCKING FAIL BASIC ALGEBRA!?! I told her the correct answer (2,500). But being the twat that she is, she decided to get a second opinion from the computer. I guess that the only real difference is that the computer didn't want to kick her face in. Just because you have an underdeveloped fetus in your uterus doesn't give you an excuse to be completely brain dead. Nor does it give you and excuse to be lazy as hell. Once the job was complete she took a 45 minute break. When she came back, she spent another 45 minutes sitting on her ass in front of the stitcher (giant stapler). I wasted the rest of my time sweeping the floor. So after three hours I accomplished NOTHING at all.
It was sometime during one of her 45 minute breaks that something in my mind snapped. I became more enraged than I normally am while I'm at work. It was in that moment that I decided that I would dedicate my life to ridding the world of unwanted pregnancies. Armed only with a pair of steel toed boots and a few flights of stairs, I will purge the world of this infectious disease. No more being held up at work, no more being stuck in traffic because someone went into labor. I will not stand for it. Unborn children of the world beware. The dark knight returns once again...
I had to work three hours of overtime today. Not too bad considering that my Gestapo of a foreman wanted me to work a twelve hour day. But it was WHY I had to work overtime that made my blood pressure exceed physical limits. Basically, it was because my co-worker (whom is currently pregnant) is a rampant harlot. Pregnant women are usually a burden, but in the workplace, it's intolerable. We were assigned a job that would have normally take me about 20 minutes to complete BY MYSELF. The job took one hour to complete. ONE FUCKING HOUR TO WRAP 50 PACKAGES!!! That's about one package every minute and five seconds. Completely absurd. But then she had the audacity to ask me what 10% of 25,000 is. DID YOU FUCKING FAIL BASIC ALGEBRA!?! I told her the correct answer (2,500). But being the twat that she is, she decided to get a second opinion from the computer. I guess that the only real difference is that the computer didn't want to kick her face in. Just because you have an underdeveloped fetus in your uterus doesn't give you an excuse to be completely brain dead. Nor does it give you and excuse to be lazy as hell. Once the job was complete she took a 45 minute break. When she came back, she spent another 45 minutes sitting on her ass in front of the stitcher (giant stapler). I wasted the rest of my time sweeping the floor. So after three hours I accomplished NOTHING at all.
It was sometime during one of her 45 minute breaks that something in my mind snapped. I became more enraged than I normally am while I'm at work. It was in that moment that I decided that I would dedicate my life to ridding the world of unwanted pregnancies. Armed only with a pair of steel toed boots and a few flights of stairs, I will purge the world of this infectious disease. No more being held up at work, no more being stuck in traffic because someone went into labor. I will not stand for it. Unborn children of the world beware. The dark knight returns once again...