*Hurm*
SO it's 10:45 on a Tuesday night, and instead of sleeping (as I should be) I chose to depress myself by looking at the old livejournal entries. I miss those days when I could hang out with Max and Kyle at the same time. Those guys are (were? Hell if I know anymore...) two of my best friends and now for whatever reason (of which there are many) they can't stand each other. It really sucks. I loved walking to the movies and blowing what little money I had on seeing some shitty movie that we all just ended up cursing and laughing loudly through. I miss the old school and all it's little nooks and crannies (especially the crannies) where you could hide and no one could see you. I miss skipping into keyboarding and watching musicals with Vannessa while discussing everything from God to whatever relationship troubles I was having. I miss playing Magic at lunch with Jimmy and Burritt and Max. I miss Mr. McCoy and his SLC and his Bam stick. I miss going to the only machine on campus with Pibb and then standing there loitering and vandalizing. I miss never making plans after school until the last minute and then having to rush to figure out what the fuck we were doing. I miss the old spots where we all used to hang out in the mornings, the hallway on odd days and outside the senior hallway on even days. I miss the way the wind used to blow on cold days, and it would blow my hair and coat back behind me, and I would feel like the hottest man of all time. I miss the bus loop where we would all hang out after school, even if one of us wasn't riding the bus. I miss everything about tenth grade. My only regret was that Johanna wasn't there with me to experience all of it. She only got a taste. But that was the first and last time in my life where I fell like I was truly excepted and wanted, when everyone liked me and I liked them in return. Nowadays, with this new school and whatever the fuck is happening to all of our friendships... I don't know. I know it's all part of human nature. We have friends, and they go and they come, but why did it have to be so fleeting? There was only a good two or three months when everything was all right and then whatever happened happened. God... maybe I'm just seeing it through the skewed lense of the past. Perhaps it wasn't all as great as I made it out to be. But from this angle, it was the best time of my life.