(no subject)
So you may 'ave 'eard that me and Hastur are lurking together again. This time though it's definitely serious, no matter what my beta reader says about us 'aving a yoyo relationship. She reckons that it won't last, but I'm betting that she is just jealous that she doesn't 'ave anyone to lurk with (I mean it's not like I 'aven't offered to try an set 'er up with one of the imps). Anyway, I'm working on a sort of end of earth year speech thingie wot I will read out to my minions wot are stationed up 'ere; it mainly focusses on how useless they all are an' why they should be grateful to 'ave a leader like me. Speaking of minions stationed up 'ere, I've 'eard from some succubae wot I was gossiping discussing important infernal matters like who Astaroth's tarting about with these days with that Nagini got a bit upset after our last meeting 'cos of me saying that she had a fat arse and manky scales. Talk about oversensitive.
Sugarplum finally seems to be losing a bit of weight. I 'ave started 'er on a new excersise program wot involves catching brightly coloured hoops with 'er tentacles an' throwing them back to me practising attacking stuff.
Anway I 'ave decided to record my list of enemies and allies 'ere in this journal in case my notebook goes missing (I once lost the parchment with my NC17 fic 'Hastur and Ligur 'Ave It Off' written on and 'ave not been able to rewrite it since - Dreya promises that she did not steal it an' burn it whilst I was busy lurking in 'er wardrobe). So it is:
People Wot I Really, Really, Really Hate
That Angel Shagging Bastard Crawly
The Angel Shagging Bastard's mate John Constantine
That girly prick Belphegor
Pazuzu
People Wot I Just Hate
People who feed Sugarplum marshamallows behind my back.
People Wot I Need To Keep Around Cos They Are Useful
Carrie the Blood Dispenser
Nagini
Scar Boy (though I also suspect that he might be in the People Wot I Just Hate list too)
My Pet Psycho Human
My useless beta reader (her rubbish stories make me feel better about mine)
People Wot I care about Don't Mind
Sugarplum
Hastur
Sugarplum finally seems to be losing a bit of weight. I 'ave started 'er on a new excersise program wot involves catching brightly coloured hoops with 'er tentacles an' throwing them back to me practising attacking stuff.
Anway I 'ave decided to record my list of enemies and allies 'ere in this journal in case my notebook goes missing (I once lost the parchment with my NC17 fic 'Hastur and Ligur 'Ave It Off' written on and 'ave not been able to rewrite it since - Dreya promises that she did not steal it an' burn it whilst I was busy lurking in 'er wardrobe). So it is:
People Wot I Really, Really, Really Hate
That Angel Shagging Bastard Crawly
The Angel Shagging Bastard's mate John Constantine
That girly prick Belphegor
Pazuzu
People Wot I Just Hate
People who feed Sugarplum marshamallows behind my back.
People Wot I Need To Keep Around Cos They Are Useful
Carrie the Blood Dispenser
Nagini
Scar Boy (though I also suspect that he might be in the People Wot I Just Hate list too)
My Pet Psycho Human
My useless beta reader (her rubbish stories make me feel better about mine)
People Wot I care about Don't Mind
Sugarplum
Hastur