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[i_h8_jailb8]

grrrrufff...today and yesterday have been the most awful days of my life so far. no, well....yes. Friday I woke up and started to cry uncontrollably thinking...what if today is the last time I will ever see my grandma again?. and thinking about it sucks so I'm going to write about something else. Friday we drove to Minneapolis and Justin and my

Comments

[martemom]

Steph,
Don't feel bad. Grandma asked about you today. You should try to call her often (like a couple times a week, but she doesn't always answer). She doesn't want to call you becuase she doesn't want to bother you. Thurs, Fri, and Sat, & Sun she was really good. But today she was a little sad and sick. But mentally I think she has been really good.

I have also been crying a lot over it. I feel like I'm depressed, and Gene and I talked and he has been a lot more helpful. It also helps that she has been better. I went to her house Saturday to get the cat and all I did was cry because the hardest thing for me is that I'll never go to Grandma's house again and see her there, and the food. I was crying the other day and then I realized I was never going to eat another Christmas cookie she made and I just fell apart.

I hope she gets better and goes home, but on the other hand she has some friends there now, and they talk and she likes being social, because she wasn't before at all.

It's hard because I've never gone through this before, except with Hazel and that was a long time ago. I can better organzie my thoughts now and it's so hard to deal with. Plus, Grandma was like our 3rd parent, and we spent more time with her than Mom and Dad growing up. I think ou are the only one that really completely understands everything I'm going through.

:)
Miss you.

[i_h8_jailb8]

i think i'll call her tomorrow. i think i have more minutes on a calling card...but mom is sending me one in the mail and i might get a cell phone tomorrow...actually i think i'm going to. there is a really good deal from AT&T for $35 a month and i'm pretty sure i'm going to get a job at the same place i did last year. it's only 10 hrs/wk...but it's pretty good pay and i figure i can afford a cell phone, especially when we shut off our regular phone.
tell grandma i said "hi" again and that i will try to call her tomorrow...actually, i will because justin is still here and i can use his cell. so tell her i will call her to tell her about my day at school. hopefully she'll pick up. maybe i will call her before you see her so in that case nevermind. i am just rambling....

miss you too...come up and visit me. we can spoon in my tiny bed. j/k. sleep on the couch!

Re:

[martemom]

F-you! I will be spooning my darling sissy.

[i_h8_jailb8]

good. just don't be thinking that i'm gene in the middle of the night.

Re:

[martemom]

Hrumph. your penis isn't nearly as big as his.

[i_h8_jailb8]

eeeewwwwwwweeeeeee