*On the Plane to Funkytown*

[i_got_5_meters]

His Vati had questioned where he was going and Feliciano had tried to get him to stay by crying and making him pasta, but Gilbert already had his mind made up and was on his way out the door. His bruder's boyfriend was always the clingy type, even with him. It was weird sometimes, but the little guy was adorable and was somehow able to put up with

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[viva_la_francis]

"And probably should be condemned as a biological hazzard." Francis added with a chuckle going off to bring back:



A lovely and delicious pastry for dessert, called a chou à la vanille, a pastry puff filled with vanilla cream (Gilbert could see the vanilla beans inside!) and topped with a glaze. The colorful, chocolate-covered rice puffs sprinkled on top added further visual and textural dimensions to the whole pastry. C’est a dire, it was up to Francis' usual culinary standards. It was as pretty as it was yummy.

"It's nice to have company, Mama has gone to the Cognac region to visit her friend for the New Year. It's just us." Francis said placing a rich cup of strong French roast coffee beside Gilbert's pastry.

Beer did NOT taste good with Sweets.

[i_got_5_meters]

Gilbert watched Francis leave, patting his stomach in satisfaction as he finished his meal only to be roused again by the smell of sweets and coffee. If there was a drink Gilbert liked even remotely close to beer, it had to be coffee. It was handy for those times of hangover recovery.

"Gott, Francis. When do you find time to make all this food and STILL not fail class?" It didn't help that Gilbert's idea of cooking entailed spearing a sausage with a fork and either dropping it onto a pan or shoving it into a fire. He cooked like a madman and it had gotten him into his fair share of messes. He usually like to leave it for Ludwig to clean up as he was a bit of a neurotic, uptight, clean freak. "Now if only it would rub off on your boyfriend then there wouldn't be anything left to throw at me and I might not lose anymore brain cells."

Gilbert closed his eyes and groaned in delight at the taste of the pastry, washing it down with hot coffee, despite maybe having burned his tongue just a little bit. "Just us, you say?" there was a mischeivous glint to his reddish eyes. "I've still got some cash left, so do you want to start the shindig here or hit the town? Old school rules. First one to pass out loses?"

[viva_la_francis]

"Bonne Annee! It's start of St. Sylvestre Gilbert! It's a celebration throughout the whole city tonight Mon Ami! There wlll be Vin chaud to drink and papillottes! I have a trunk of fireworks and we will be going to The Champs-Elysees it is the place to head if you want to be at the center of the party!" Francis began, New Years was a HUGE event in the whole of France.

"I do not intend to be passing out until the cock crows!" Francis added clapping happily. It was going to be a fabulous night of celebration.

Gilbert would probably get himself arrested tonight and Francis would have to bail him out in the morning, but still, a lot of fun.

[i_got_5_meters]

Gilbert perked up with a flourish, his mind already racing to all sorts of outlandish and diabolical instances. "Hell yeah! I forgot you're not the only person in France who likes to party."

"When we get down there they won't know what hit them!"Getting caught up in the moment, Gilbert practically bounded out of his seat and slung an arm around Francis's shoulder, using his free hand to fist pump into the air triumphantly. "The only cock that'll be crowing is going to be mine! HA! I don't consider it a good party until I either get laid or get hauled away in handcuffs. No wonder why ol' Caterpillar Brows hates it when we gang up."

"This is going to be awesome..." He grinned as he polished off the last of his vanilaa pastry. No matter how loud and obnoxious gilbert seemed, he could always appreciate his friend's cooking. "So. When does the night commence?"

[viva_la_francis]

"We'll head down around eight, party officially starts at nine. I just plan on enjoying the hot wine on a cold night. It's always my favortie part. That and watching you get arrested." Francis laughed finishing his own coffee.

"I would be getting more fun if Arthur were here. Merde."

[i_got_5_meters]

"The guy seriously needs to ease up a bit and let loose.I'm surprised him and Luddy aren't best friends. The Uptight Citizen's Brigade." Gilbert joked, releasing Francis with a friendly pat to the backside.

Already feeling pretty comfortable in his friend's apartment, Gilbert sauntered into the kitchen and hunted around in the fridge for another beer. "Want anything else to drink?" He asked, poking his head up over to door. "Might as well pre-game, I always say!"

"And yeah, if I had a euro for each time I've woken up in a foreign drunk tank, I'd be able to buy back the eastern half of Germany and reinstate the Königreich Preußen!" He'd already launched into his beer by the end of his speech, reveling in the cold, crisp, bitter brew.

"I don't think your fancy man would be up for half the shit that me, you, and Toni get up to, but if he thinks he's game, then he can join right in. If we don't get stuck in a park somewhere we should totally drunken video chat with him!" Oh Gilbert was an expert and stirring up trouble and getting under people's skin. No wonder why he held the school record for detention time served. "Hopefully he doesn't get jealous that he's not here for the classic New Year's midnight makeout!"

[viva_la_francis]

"He'll be three sheets to the wind well before midnight. He could put you to shame when he's drunk." Francis laughed. Grabbing his cellphone and showing Gilbert a video clip of Arthur, DRUNK, wearing nothing but a bowtie and apron.



"You tell him I have this in my phone, I remove your cock with a guillotene! It was bad enough Alfred walked into the end there and saw it."

[i_got_5_meters]

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! H-how the fuck did you get him to wear that?!" Gilbert broke out in a laugh so sideachingly boisterous that he nearly began choking on the last of his beer. Never in a million years did he think he'd see Francis's uptight limey boy-toy do something that he could actually give him props for. That dance was pretty freaking cool. Not awesome yet. No, nobody was as awesome as he was. But it was still pretty hilarious. "Kesesesesese. You should SO get him on a video chat and not tell him I'm there! I'll hide in your basket of white laundry or something. He'd HATE that!"

The albino fetched another beer and grinned wickedly. "I don't know, Franny-pants. I'm feeling pretty lucky tonight. I don't think anybody's going to be able to live this New Year's down."

Then Gilbert paused his maniacal cackling to take a look down the front of his jeans. "You wouldn't remove such a work of art as my 5 meters, would you? Isn't something like that against the law in France or whatever? Oh, and don't mention that Dummkopf American. I felt the brunt of his bitch fit over that whole sock-hop propositioning of his brother." He left off with a rueful shiver.

"After watching that little vedeo gem, I'm not going to wake up in the morning getting humped because you 'miss him', am I?I've used lesser reasons on people before." Gilbert zipped up his jacket and moved towards the door, ready to hit the town.

[viva_la_francis]

"Mon Dieu Non! He would break up with me so fast! No! I do happen to love him. I will not cheat. Your loins are safe." Francis said grabbing his coat.

"We'll take the Metro! I'm not driving tonight." He said as they headed out to PAR-TAY!

[i_got_5_meters]

"That's comforting then. Toni does that sometimes then comes crying to my when 'his Lovi' locks him out." Gilbert kesesese'd as the two stepped out onto the pavement on their trek to the station.

"Good thing we're taking the metro too, because there's no way in hell I'm driving either. Unless somebody decides to offer me road nookie, that is. Might try to go for the land, sea, and air home run today today." Then he cracked the knuckles of his slim, white hands in front of him like he was preparing for battle. "One down, two to go."

As they made their way down the street, which was slowly beginning to fill with people migrating towards the festivities, Gilbert kept his eye on the prospects around them. The air was a little cool and nipped at his nose and ears somewhat, but at least it added a little more colour to his features than usual.

[viva_la_francis]

Francis hooked his arm through Gilbert's and then pointed to a group of young, gorgeous girls, Catholic High School Girls according to the uniforms.

"Send them all into Confession tomorrow mon ami." Francis said giving Gilbert a hearty SHOVE in the right direction.

[i_got_5_meters]

Gilbert was not perturbed one bit by the gesture of publicly linking arms with his close friend. In fact, he wondered how the hell Francis managed to stay so warm when he was starting to feel the chill in the air as the alcohol had not yet begun to set his system abuzz with it's miraculous warm comfort. It's not like their infamous coterie of chaos hadn't performed more public displays in the past. Reviewing his mental replay and trying to think of ways to outdo himself, he heard a flurry of giggling and girlish chatter just as Francis pointed to a group of school girls across the street. From the furtive glances and giggling, it was clear that the girls had been eyeing them up.

"Oh you SO read my mind, Franny." Gilbert remarked, righting himself after being shoved in the girls' direction. While he may be no Francis, Gilbert felt pretty confident in his ability to play the field regardless of what side decided to take the bait. As it so happened, the ladies seemed to eat up the whole albino thing.

"Bon année, mesdammes." While Gilbert may be a lazy mischeif maker 99% of the time, he actually had managed to pick up a decent amount of french, not only from Francis but also from his Vati who was an administrator of the school.

He could see right away that these girls were on board so far. Their skirts which were short normally, had been rolled up to give the eye a sight of more soft skin before falling not far above the curve of shapely backsides. They eyed Gilbert up and down and smiled at his use of their launguage. "Avez-vous entendu la bonne parole?" They were Catholic school girls, and this trick had worked for him before.

One of the girls smiled and batted her eyelashes, holding her schoolbag in front of her as a not so subtle excuse to press her ample cleavage farther together. "Non. Qu'est-ce que c'est?"

Gilbert grinned in smug satisfaction. "Awesome." He chuckled with his best attempt at being suave as he walked forwar into the group of girls, draping his arms around the shoulders of the two closest girls and beginning to lead the group down the street.

Gilbert spared a look backwards at Francis on the other side of the street and shot him a wink as if to say "Be right back!"

[viva_la_francis]

Francis laughed and pulled up a seat and a street cafe. This was their "drill" if one of the trio wandered off to try and chat up a potention bed mate, the other two (or one in this case) would do one of two things, stay where they were for about an hour, and if Gilbert (but usually Francis) didn't return within that hour the others assumed not to "wait up" and if they needed a bail out,, they would get a text. If they DID return before the hour was up, they either did NOT get lucky, or they *DID* and it was just a fabulous quicky.

Francis was more than content to flirt with the waitress and enjoy his vin chaud and watch the crowds and fireworks going off everywhere.

[i_got_5_meters]

Sea- 0
Air- 1
Land- 2 with a heaping side dish of awesome

Gilbert knew the drill. He had his cell phone in the pocket of the jeans which were around his ankles in case the night should take it's usual turn and he get arrested. He'd taken the girls back to the school and was currently in the midst of a schoolgirl fetishist's dream (It wasn't his thing particularly, but he'd seen enough of his bruder's secret stash of dvds!). One question on his mind as he was unable to speak (his 5 meters wasn't the only thing to ride!) was how he managed to get them to do THAT with their tongues. One of them even hummed La Marseillaise while she was doing it.

His hour mark had nearly hit and as Gilbert was teaching one of the girls exactly WHY they built school desks at hip height, the pulse-quickening sound of the door unlocking was barely heard over the sound of his pale hand leaving a nice red mark on his current prey's ass. Mid-thrust, he found himself being stared down by a very stout and angry faced headmistress. He could hear the girl in front of him fail at attempting to stifle a whimper as her insides clamped down on him and he barely got a chance to pull out before the ruler that old lady at the door was holding came sailing straight for his head.

"Scheiße!" Gilbert cursed as he grabbed his pants and ran without even enough time to cover himself up. The alcohol was now warming his system and he didn't have time to get dressed, because the headmistress had now picked up help and he had three people on his tail.

Gilbert half-streaked through the festivites around him and spotted Francis at a cafe table over on his right side as he tore off down the street, almost having lost his pursuers, but not enough to stop. "It was worth it!" He called to his friend as he fled past, the dark ink of the prussian eagle standing out against the stark white skin of his backside. He took one sharp turn into an alleyway and quickly managed to scale the fire escape on the side of one of the houses before his pursuers had passed, eventually losing track of him altogether. turning around to find himself being stared at in gape-mouthed shock by a family of 5 out enjoying the celebrations on their rooftop, Gilbert gave a wave before sliding his pants back on and climbing the ladder back down to the street.

Gilbert found Francis again after a minute and strolled over, still breathing heavily. "YOU...mein freund...would have LOVED it!" The waittress came over and he ordered a beer. "Forget confession...I think...I sent them...straight to hell." He panted with a insinuating waggle of white eyebrows, taking a seat at the table for a breather.

[viva_la_francis]

Francis wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "Ah tu me fais tellement fier." ((Ah, you make me proud.))

"You have learned everything but remembering an escape route." Francis added clinking his glass against Gilbert's pilsner glass with mirth as he ordered a platter of oysters for the duo to share as Gilbert 'recovered' from his gleeful debauchery.

[i_got_5_meters]

Gilbert grinned and returned the clink of cheers, touching his glass to the table before taking a long, thirsty gulp of the delicious brew that nearly drained a third of it right away. "I live to please." He said, wiping some foam from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You're right about the escape route though. That old lady almost took my head off! I've faced a pissed of Vati before, but she was scary as shit."

Gilbert slumped in his seat, recovering from his escapade while Francis ordered their food. This side trip over to visit his friend was already more than worth the eventual bitching out from Ludwig when he found the charge on his bank statement and from his combined Vati's (most of the time he called dean marcus his dad too. He pretty much WAS by this stage) for having taken off like he did. "We need to find some way to get you involved in the festivities, Francis. Can't have you losing your touch because your boyfriend isn't around." He pondered out loud as the platter of oysters was brought their way.

"We could put a potato in a cop car's tailpipe, or maybe try to find some live music somewhere. Getting trashed is always fun with a soundtrack. OH WAIT! Or we could find people taking new year's pictures and do stupid shit in the background that they won't notice until they develop the film." Gilbert cracked up as he excitedly slurped a garlicky, buttery oyster from it's shell. "I found a video on YouTube once that had me and Toni in the background with balloons down the front of our shirts like giant boobs. It was AWESOME!"