(Untitled)

[__visiongal]

Okay, I've done hangovers. I've been so blindingly off my face drunk that the next morning? World of vomit.

But I've never been like this before. And when I mean like this, I mean... Hungover. Room spinning. And waking up next to a girl. Not just any girl (and oh my GOD at how much I need to wig out at THAT statement once the hangover passes

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[__visiongal]

"The right thing? Buying shoes half-price in a Barney sale is the right thing, Wesley. Saving up and taking out insurance for your kids is the right thing. Jumping ship from the Powers That Be and going to work for Evil Incorporated is not the right thing!"

Why the hell was I the only one around here seeing that? Geez, I'd been in a coma for however many months - I'd be forgiven for having a little brain damage - and yet I was the only one thinking rationally around here!

"I think something may have happened to Charles, Angel's been acting extremely peculiar. It's why I came here, I had to see that you were alright."

Gunn. My stomach clenched involuntarily and I looked at Faith. She'd been pushing for days to go back to Angel, find out what was going on and now--

"Well you've seen me. You can go, right?" The looks I was shot from both of them were like a slap across the face. My head ached, my stomach was tightening with what I knew was fear and now I was faced with the reality of having to look Angel in the eye again, of seeing every reason we could have been together and every reason we couldn't now.

Connor, our 'child'... Wesley, Lilah, Faith.

The room was spinning again. I wasn't okay, I was very not okay. I was wigging, big style, and I didn't know what to do.

"Wes, I... What did Angel tell you? About what happened, the coma?"

[boyhostage]

I frowned as I watched Faith move away from me and put a hand on Cordelia's shoulder to steady her. Now they were an unlikely pair if I'd ever seen one. However, I was close to positive that they weren't...a pair persay. This was Cordelia after all...and Faith.

"You can tell me all the things I already know if it will make you feel better." I said gruffly, forcing my eyes back to Cordelia's face. "I am still your friend however, whether you choose to believe it or not I've been worried about you."

I decided it wise to keep a bit of distance, regardless of the fact that I was overjoyed to see Cordelia unharmed. However, I still like having all of my bones unbroken. Tangling with a slayer is not on my list of things to do today.

"Wes, I... What did Angel tell you? About what happened, the coma?"

I frowned again. What was she getting at here?

"You don't remember?" I asked her curiously. I remembered all too well, how she'd stolen Angel's soul, killed Lilah...

[__visiongal]

I looked at Faith, surprised when she moved over to me. I hadn't expected that - really hadn't expected that. And yes, wigging. But... Y'know, not exactly her responsibility keeping me sane or whatever.

"You can tell me all the things I already know if it will make you feel better." I said gruffly, forcing my eyes back to Cordelia's face. "I am still your friend however, whether you choose to believe it or not I've been worried about you."

"What did you expect, Wesley?" I snapped, "Me to wake up and suddenly take my place as office manager? Funny, I heard Harmony had filled that position." And whoo-boy, bitter. I go into a coma and they find someone else who can replace me - talk about the worst candidate possible. My voice softened somewhat and I stared at him for a moment, "I know you've been worried, Wes. And... I missed you guys." I had missed them, like an arm or maybe a leg. I'm not sure where I was when I was all coma-ed up but... It was empty. Too empty.

Which led us to here. Me asking what he knew about the coma... And him, asking if I wasn't sure what had happened. Oh, I was sure all right, I just wasn't sure what he'd been told.

"I remember." I said cautiously, "I remember all of it. But... Let's just say my version of events are probably gonna be different to yours."

[boyhostage]

I stood my ground, as she continued on about Harmony and how we were doing the wrong thing at Wolfram and Hart. I already knew all of this and had questioned it everyday. I had trusted Angel and this was where it had brought me. If she needed to get it all out...again, it was understandable.

"Different? How so?" I asked, my frown deepening even more. If only the blasted slayer would get lost so I might have a few moments alone with Cordelia to suss out whatever she might be talking about.

[wickedslayer]

I let go of Cor when she shot me that look. Ok, that was a bad idea obviously. Just tryin' to help or whatever. Guess I'm just here to threaten Wesley. Hey, works for me.

I rolled my eyes as Cordy said things were different than Wesley remembered. Good thing I was standing behind her now so she couldn't see. This was where she was gonna go on about Angel's son, even though that was impossible. Maybe something happened to her head while she was in comaland.

What I was wicked curious about was what happened to Gunn.

[__visiongal]

Don't go. I looked up at Faith when she backed off, wanting to reach out and pull her to me and-- Oh God, I just wanted to be back to last night. I didn't want Wesley here. I wanted to forget.

And I realised how much of a hypocrite that made me. I couldn't stand to be around the lies - and I did nothing about them when I had a chance to end them.

"I'm not crazy." I said insistently, because it sure as hell felt it at times when I dreamt about what had happened, about Connor touching me and-- A shudder ran through me, "Stuff happened, Wesley. Because of me. Lilah..." And I blinked at that because I didn't want to get into this. Couldn't.

My head hurt. "But it wasn't just because of me. I didn't just wake up one morning and go evil. I didn't come back from that Higher Realm all posessed and everything. For a while, I was fine, I didn't have my memory but... That was okay. And then when I got it back..." I took a deep breath, "I-I was here... But I was trapped. Bored. Nothing. I just watched as this thing took over my life and made me do stuff that..."

Okay, head? Really hurting. I pressed my fingers to my temples, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "He had a son, Wesley. Angel had a son. And the reason you're standing here today, the reason you're working for Wolfram and Hart is that, because of me, Angel had to pretend his son never existed. He had to take him away from us to give him a normal life and to do that he had to make a deal with the devil. Wolfram and Hart. Connor's life for his."

[boyhostage]

"I know." I said trying to reassure her. "It wasn't you, it was Jasmine controlling you." I set my jaw as she mentioned Lilah, I had long since worked out my anger towards Cordelia as far as Lilah was concerned. I knew it hadn't really been her that had killed her.

"Wait...Connor?" I thought back to the young man at Wolfram and Hart, how I had felt so strangely around him. How Harmony had a rather curious reaction to him, how his parents had been kidnapped by demons no less.

Angel's son? Was that even possible? Everything I had studied would say no.

"I believe you, Cordelia. But what do you mean traded? You're not talking about...Gunn, are you?" Had Angel traded Gunn's life for his son's? Would we all be forced to pay the price at one time or another? He had already targetted Cordelia and Faith. "Oh dear."

[__visiongal]

"It wasn't you, it was Jasmine controlling you."

I didn't want reassured. He tried passing it off as just something that was done to me but whether he believed it or not? I wasn't sure. I wasn't all that adept at reading Wes any more - no surprise, considering the last time I'd seen him properly was like a year and a half ago.

I looked down at my hands, anywhere but Wesley, and sighed as he asked that question. What do you say when a guy you call a friend asks if you think the guy you love, used to love, whatever, would sacrifice all of you for his son?

"I don't know." I answered as honestly as I could, "I don't think so. And I really hope not. I think the deal was Connor for Angel. He works for evil, on their side, Connor gets... A normal life." Whatever the hell that was. And then, I asked the other question. "How is Angel? Other than psychotic?"

I wanted to look at Faith, to see whether she had that 'yeah, you're crazy' look on her face. I didn't. I wasn't sure I could cope with that right now, not with Wes reassuring me that my going evil was really okay. Every denial bubble I owned right now was starting to pop. Quickly. And I wasn't sure where that left me.

Or Faith.

[wickedslayer]

"Holy shit." I muttered, looking between Wesley and Cordelia. "You really weren't makin' all that Connor stuff up, were you?" I asked in awe. Fuck, shoulda known better than to think Cor had gone all soft in the head.

Wesley seemed happy to ignore me, whatever, it wasn't like I knew watcherboy was on our side when I started throttling him. He should know I'd never really hurt him again unless I had to.

"Angel is....like I said, acting very peculiar. I'm not quite sure what to do." Wesley replied to Cordelia, and it got me to thinkin'.

"Well, I know what I wanna do. I say we mount up and go confront his evil ass. Anyone else with me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at Cordelia.

[__visiongal]

"We don't actually know he's evil, it could just be the influence of that place." I said, rather sensibly I might add. When you worked for evil? You slept with one eye open. When you slept in the penthouse of the root of all evil?

You slept with a multitude of weapons, or at least common sense dictated that anyway...

What Faith said sunk in and she stared at me, waiting for-- "Uh, wait a minute. You want to go in there stakes ablazing to accuse a possibly insane vampire of being brainwashed by evil? I'm thinking... Bad plan. Also, me? Never wanting to set foot in that place. Ever. So, no."

Yeah, sue me, I was wimping out. Big time.

[wickedslayer]

"We don't know if he's evil? Cor..." Ignoring Wesley I stepped in front of her and looked into her face. She had this wierd look on her face, and I wanted to tell her to stop being such a wuss. "He tried to blow us up, or are you forgetting that part? Also, remember the whole jumping across rooftops to get rid of those commandos?" I knew I remembered the broken ribs and sleeping on the floor of some random warehouse.

"I hate to say this, but I really don't know what else there is to do." Wesley piped up and Jesus Christ, did he just take my side? That was a miracle within itself.

"Come on, Cor." I said looking at her again. "We can't keep runnin' forever."

[__visiongal]

"Am I forgetting that part?" I asked, incredulously. "Oh, sure I am. I mean it was great fun killing all those commandos. And that vision of you? Even better. Just... Color me not wanting to walk into the building where the chances of you dying are like way higher than they are with us staying here."

I heard what they said. Insisting, between them, that this was the only way... Nothing else for it, Cor, get back on the horse and keep pluggin', keep fighting, only way to survive is to keep on going...

"We can't keep runnin' forever."

"And I'm supposed to say what to him exactly? 'Hey, sorry I slept with your son and made you work with evil, it's time we talked?' Sure! That'll go down great. I'll just be over in the corner getting my neck snapped, will I?" I muttered sourly.

I was being unreasonable and I knew it. I was terrified of seeing him - of looking in his eyes and not seeing my best friend staring back. I was terrified of seeing everything that had happened between us and not being able to do anything about it.

I was running away and that wasn't like me, not at all.

"Did you say Gunn was missing?" I asked, sighing, resigned to my fate. By the end of today? I'd either be dead or another friend down - namely, Angel, if I hadn't lost him already.

[wickedslayer]

"We're all gonna die one day." I said to Cordelia, my blood running a little cold when she kept talking about how I was supposed to die and she was supposed to stop it. But hey, she already saved my ass from Commandos so I'm thinkin' we already got one up on the system.

"Soul Boy needs some help right now. I for one, can't just kick back and chill with the polite fridge for the rest of ever. I'm going." I shot a look at Cordelia and then one back to Wesley.

"Charles has been missing for several weeks, I believe." Wesley interupted me, damn Brits. "Neither Fred or myself can remember having seen him. I stopped into his office and they informed me that he was out for the day. I'm afraid something's happened to him."