This is art?
We're supposed to perform a piece of "instructional art" in public for my art history class. I was a little wary of the project to begin with, but even more so when I realized the handout included a disclaimer to "the easily influenced, the depressed, and the malevolent." I think I'll do this one:
How to obtain one kilogram of high quality cocaine in twenty steps (with the best economy of materials)
Part One: Obtaining the "cocaine base"
Gather 60 "arrobas" of coca leaves (species Erytroxylon novogranatense). Prick and beat the coca leaves, then sprinkle with sodium carbonate. After the coca leaves have been treated with the sodium carbonate, wrap them in plastic film. The sodium carbonate will make the leaves heat up. Leave the coca leaves enveloped in plastic film for 4 hours. This process is called "maceration"...
And so on and so forth until...
Part Two: Crystallization
Acquire 12 liters of ether (ethyl oxide or sulfuric ether) which functions as a solvent. Pour the ether into a very clean white plastic container. Add the cocaine base obtained in Part One. Acquire 12 liters of ether (ethyl oxide or sulfuric ether) which functions as a solvent. Pour the ether into a very clean white plastic container. Add the cocaine base obtained in Part One... To obtain more cocaine repeat the process described in numbers 1 through 20. The process described above serves to obtain 1000 grams (1 kilogram) of cocaine. Based upon these ratios, one can establish the relative measures necessary to process any quantity of material.
This one doesn't sound so hot either:
Three "do its" from the staff at store A
1. Bring your body into proximity with an object or material
in such a way as to be able to kill yourself.
2.Kill yourself.
3. Repeat as necessary.|
More such gems can be found at http://www.e-flux.com/projects/do_it/homepage/do_it_home.html
I think I'll play it safe and just choose the one where you walk along and smile at strangers.
How to obtain one kilogram of high quality cocaine in twenty steps (with the best economy of materials)
Part One: Obtaining the "cocaine base"
Gather 60 "arrobas" of coca leaves (species Erytroxylon novogranatense). Prick and beat the coca leaves, then sprinkle with sodium carbonate. After the coca leaves have been treated with the sodium carbonate, wrap them in plastic film. The sodium carbonate will make the leaves heat up. Leave the coca leaves enveloped in plastic film for 4 hours. This process is called "maceration"...
And so on and so forth until...
Part Two: Crystallization
Acquire 12 liters of ether (ethyl oxide or sulfuric ether) which functions as a solvent. Pour the ether into a very clean white plastic container. Add the cocaine base obtained in Part One. Acquire 12 liters of ether (ethyl oxide or sulfuric ether) which functions as a solvent. Pour the ether into a very clean white plastic container. Add the cocaine base obtained in Part One... To obtain more cocaine repeat the process described in numbers 1 through 20. The process described above serves to obtain 1000 grams (1 kilogram) of cocaine. Based upon these ratios, one can establish the relative measures necessary to process any quantity of material.
This one doesn't sound so hot either:
Three "do its" from the staff at store A
1. Bring your body into proximity with an object or material
in such a way as to be able to kill yourself.
2.Kill yourself.
3. Repeat as necessary.|
More such gems can be found at http://www.e-flux.com/projects/do_it/homepage/do_it_home.html
I think I'll play it safe and just choose the one where you walk along and smile at strangers.