Fearless, and I know that's why you love me
Last night was pretty swell. Jen, Lacey, Sammy, Jelstro and I all went down to Newport to watch some fireworks. We--actually, just Jelstro--paid 5 bucks to watch shit explode for less than 20 minutes. It was awesome. We did our own commentary--Sammy and Jelstro had me in fucking stitches--and I think we successfully managed to piss off every person within a 12-foot radius. We also blasted Big D from the stereo and had a radio war with this nasty-ass dude on a motorcycle who's electronic vanity plate flashed, "Freelance Gynecologist at Work". He made me vomit in my mouth a lot. Anyway. Then we went back to Clifton to get pizza from Pomodori's and annoy Chris, but they had just closed, so we headed to Mac's for some floor-flavored pizza. I mean, the pizza's sweet. But according to Jelstro, he was pretty sure it'd been on the floor at some point that night. I'm not so sure I disagree either. However, we took it back to his apartment and watched his entire Big D dvd of tribute "Little Bitch" videos. The videos were honestly awesome. Very well-executed. Then we went back to our respective homes.
And I worked today from 11-4:44 at MnE's, and 5-close at Hallmark. It was not my cup of tea. However, I do have all day tomorrow off. And I only owe my credit card company 100 dollars. Which is a LOT less than I thought I did. Haha oh god fuck me I already have credit card debt and I'm not even 19!
Oh, and last night Chris and I had a pretty lengthy conversation. I think things are pretty well clarified. Even if he did think we were talking about Lacey--I told him at least 4 times during the convo that it applied to him also--but it was good nonetheless. I really wish that I'd taken the advice he gave me last night back in February. Maybe things in all regards to people I've lost touch with would be different. I mean, the what-ifs and maybes are what's killing me. So I will listen to Christopher Grannen. About this at least.
Now I'm bored. I think I'm going to run to Kroger, just to have something to do.
:) Jen, I love you.
p.s. She makes me really angry. I mean, you know when friendships are really one-sided? You're the one always calling, always making plans, always adjusting? Yeah and I'm not talking about Lacey. Or Jen. Or Sammy. Someone you know but don't. Just accept it. If I want to tell you who it is, I will. OK.
p.p.s. She and him...and him with her...and the two of them together...and each one of them individually...it makes me sick. Or angry. Or jealous. Yeah, jealous is pretty much it. God. Way to fuck things up at the very beginning Leyla and completely lose any and all opportunities just because you got drunker than a motherfucker one night and acted stupid. Wrong person, wrong place, wrong time. GODDAMNIT. I'm not even that pissed, just jealous, like I said. It's not fucking fair. Seriously, it's really not. AND it's not like I even LIKE him that much. It's pretty much the fact that she will always be prettier, cuter, more charming, and more accessible. I want to be like her but I can't. I'm not short--what's with me being the tallest and heaviest of all my friends, EVER? Ok, except for Allie Barlow. But Allie weighs about as much as me, and has a good 3 inches on me, so I'm still fucked!--I'm not playful in the way Jen and Sammy and NAMELESS GIRL are, I'm not graceful, I don't have redeeming qualities like a perfect smile or thinness, I don't have that easygoing manner that makes EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM want to be your friend, I don't have any of that! I have sarcasm SOMETIMES, a loud laugh, big boobs, and a car. That's all I've got. Nothing else. No cool eyes, no big lips, no short stature of cuteness. I'm a sorta-tall chunky klutz with an anxiety complex. FUCK. All I wanted from you, God, Life, Genetic Order, was green eyes and a smaller build. Seriously? Was that really THAT hard to manage? I mean, COME ON.
p.p.p.s. Wow, that was emo. Or self-deprecating. Or cliche. Or something.
Peace out, kids.
And I worked today from 11-4:44 at MnE's, and 5-close at Hallmark. It was not my cup of tea. However, I do have all day tomorrow off. And I only owe my credit card company 100 dollars. Which is a LOT less than I thought I did. Haha oh god fuck me I already have credit card debt and I'm not even 19!
Oh, and last night Chris and I had a pretty lengthy conversation. I think things are pretty well clarified. Even if he did think we were talking about Lacey--I told him at least 4 times during the convo that it applied to him also--but it was good nonetheless. I really wish that I'd taken the advice he gave me last night back in February. Maybe things in all regards to people I've lost touch with would be different. I mean, the what-ifs and maybes are what's killing me. So I will listen to Christopher Grannen. About this at least.
Now I'm bored. I think I'm going to run to Kroger, just to have something to do.
:) Jen, I love you.
p.s. She makes me really angry. I mean, you know when friendships are really one-sided? You're the one always calling, always making plans, always adjusting? Yeah and I'm not talking about Lacey. Or Jen. Or Sammy. Someone you know but don't. Just accept it. If I want to tell you who it is, I will. OK.
p.p.s. She and him...and him with her...and the two of them together...and each one of them individually...it makes me sick. Or angry. Or jealous. Yeah, jealous is pretty much it. God. Way to fuck things up at the very beginning Leyla and completely lose any and all opportunities just because you got drunker than a motherfucker one night and acted stupid. Wrong person, wrong place, wrong time. GODDAMNIT. I'm not even that pissed, just jealous, like I said. It's not fucking fair. Seriously, it's really not. AND it's not like I even LIKE him that much. It's pretty much the fact that she will always be prettier, cuter, more charming, and more accessible. I want to be like her but I can't. I'm not short--what's with me being the tallest and heaviest of all my friends, EVER? Ok, except for Allie Barlow. But Allie weighs about as much as me, and has a good 3 inches on me, so I'm still fucked!--I'm not playful in the way Jen and Sammy and NAMELESS GIRL are, I'm not graceful, I don't have redeeming qualities like a perfect smile or thinness, I don't have that easygoing manner that makes EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM want to be your friend, I don't have any of that! I have sarcasm SOMETIMES, a loud laugh, big boobs, and a car. That's all I've got. Nothing else. No cool eyes, no big lips, no short stature of cuteness. I'm a sorta-tall chunky klutz with an anxiety complex. FUCK. All I wanted from you, God, Life, Genetic Order, was green eyes and a smaller build. Seriously? Was that really THAT hard to manage? I mean, COME ON.
p.p.p.s. Wow, that was emo. Or self-deprecating. Or cliche. Or something.
Peace out, kids.