Loved
Someone once told me that I'm not hard to love.
And I somewhat resented that.
Because IF I wasn't hard to love, then how come I felt so alone, used, and unimportant instead of feeling happy, feeling like I belong.
But now I know that I can be loved. And really loved at that.
I don't want a broken you. When you whine, that's not you. That's not the Stephanie that I know. That's not the Stephanie I fell in love with. I never told you to leave your family. I want you to have both me and Teo - and you do have both of us. I understand that you have to find yourself, and I want to protect you while you're doing that. I love you so much. And even when we fight, even when I hurt you, I hold my anger back because I love you.
It now rests in my hands. I just want to find myself, discover the roots of my insecurities, my worries. After then I know I will be able to be the strong, responsible, thinking person that I normally was, and hopefully am.
I wish time stops while I am in this search. But it moves. And I miss out on a lot of things while I continue my journey. But I will not stop. The faster that I get to better myself, the faster that I can make things right.
I love you mom, I love you Teo, I love you cuddie. And someday soon, I will make everything work out between us all.
And I somewhat resented that.
Because IF I wasn't hard to love, then how come I felt so alone, used, and unimportant instead of feeling happy, feeling like I belong.
But now I know that I can be loved. And really loved at that.
I don't want a broken you. When you whine, that's not you. That's not the Stephanie that I know. That's not the Stephanie I fell in love with. I never told you to leave your family. I want you to have both me and Teo - and you do have both of us. I understand that you have to find yourself, and I want to protect you while you're doing that. I love you so much. And even when we fight, even when I hurt you, I hold my anger back because I love you.
It now rests in my hands. I just want to find myself, discover the roots of my insecurities, my worries. After then I know I will be able to be the strong, responsible, thinking person that I normally was, and hopefully am.
I wish time stops while I am in this search. But it moves. And I miss out on a lot of things while I continue my journey. But I will not stop. The faster that I get to better myself, the faster that I can make things right.
I love you mom, I love you Teo, I love you cuddie. And someday soon, I will make everything work out between us all.