out of breath
I told myself not to be overcome by this hurt...
but I'm starting to feel it. and it's too damn heavy to bear.
I only did what I know would be best for you. you deserve much much better than I can ever offer you.
I never left for selfish reasons, although your world will tell you that. I left because we all know I am the least capable to be a mother to you - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. I tried and the hell I did. if your mama says that your dad is making up for what he did not do for you before, I, on the other hand, did not have anything to make up for. probably not until now.
and more importantly, I never left you for someone else. and I will not ask you to side with me, but the time that I spent away from you, I was either working, asleep or making use of my time for worthwhile things, contrary to what people say. and I will not ask you to choose even if I can tell you outright that I got the most hurtful, below the belt comments from those I have been working hard for, those whom I always kept in mind as a driving force and as my inspiration to continue proving myself worthy to be your mother.
I will not ask for your understanding, and I know I have hurt you a lot. but I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me, that's why I had to remove myself from the picture. ask anyone and they will tell you I have not been the best mother you could have.
love your mama, much more than I ever loved you and her. love your family the way the world knows how. don't be like me. your mama always said I have a very weird way of making you feel that I love you. and questions me why I am doing this to you.
I love you, Teo. if there's anything you must know.
but I'm starting to feel it. and it's too damn heavy to bear.
I only did what I know would be best for you. you deserve much much better than I can ever offer you.
I never left for selfish reasons, although your world will tell you that. I left because we all know I am the least capable to be a mother to you - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. I tried and the hell I did. if your mama says that your dad is making up for what he did not do for you before, I, on the other hand, did not have anything to make up for. probably not until now.
and more importantly, I never left you for someone else. and I will not ask you to side with me, but the time that I spent away from you, I was either working, asleep or making use of my time for worthwhile things, contrary to what people say. and I will not ask you to choose even if I can tell you outright that I got the most hurtful, below the belt comments from those I have been working hard for, those whom I always kept in mind as a driving force and as my inspiration to continue proving myself worthy to be your mother.
I will not ask for your understanding, and I know I have hurt you a lot. but I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me, that's why I had to remove myself from the picture. ask anyone and they will tell you I have not been the best mother you could have.
love your mama, much more than I ever loved you and her. love your family the way the world knows how. don't be like me. your mama always said I have a very weird way of making you feel that I love you. and questions me why I am doing this to you.
I love you, Teo. if there's anything you must know.