Why wait 'til the thought are empty? (A blackout drunk title)

[i_eat_food]

This year has by far been the worst of my life, which has a plethora of shitty years. Every day is a struggle just to get up, and once I'm up it's a struggle not to kill myself. I've said I'd never actually kill myself, but what do I know? I've burned almost every bridge there is to burn with people close to me; my family seems to be able to forgive most anything though, since it's a whole ton of fuck-ups. Even then I go days without saying a word to anybody other than myself. I don't find any joy in anything I used to. I get and quit jobs within weeks, because I can't deal with it. Then I'll just spend the few bucks I get on booze, the slowest killer. I don't sleep, I hardly eat because I no longer have any interest with cooking. The only good things I have going for me are what I'd call: part-time friends, and my dreams, or rather deep thought day-dreams. We'll see if I can pick up the pieces after I survive this year... if I survive it. Probably the most pathetic post I've made on here... or not. What better place than good ol' elly J.

There was some odd drunk nonsense auto-saved here, but I deleted it, because even that seemed a bit too hopeful.

Lissa <3
xo.