The panic will see me through
So, do we all know how weird I really am?? How screwed up in the head I am?? My mom brought it to my attention that I talk to myself, my tv, and my radio. Like I was watching the debate a few seconds ago and I was yelling at Cheney.... But it's not just that...I've been thinking all day. I'm so weird....paranoid....depressed....and I can't describe it....but either way it sucks....
The last thing I needed today was seeing you. I thought I was done...until Friday, when I was walking up the stairwell and almost had a breakdown.....I know it sounds weird, but it's what happened. You know how when you're out somewhere and you smell something that reminds you of someplace...like smelling a candle that reminds you of your grandma's cooking? well that's how it was, but it didn't bring joy. It brought confusion, fear, feelings, and everything back....it was so strange, unlike anything i've ever felt before, and I didn't like it. I realized that I don't know if I'm done or not. I mean I thought I was, but now I just don't know. It's so weird...and it sucks...cause seeing you brought back all the feelings...but not in a good way. My heart didn't race...that's good right? either way it made me think a lot about you. But not like I did that first week...grrrr...
Today in third block, the guys were pissing me off. Some of them (who will remain nameless) were standing around talking about girls they'd banged and they were talking about some of the flaws they had. I felt like yelling "YOU KNOW WHAT NOT ALL GIRLS ARE PERFECT AND JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE HOT FACES, DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE HOT BODIES. GOOD LUCK FINDING ONE THAT IS PERFECT!" but i didnt cause I just would've made a fool of myself.
So, i got my new Korn CD. It's so awesome. I love the 3 new songs. What am i talking about, I love the 15 old songs too!!!! And the live DVD just plain rocks! Hellz yeah!
alright I gotta study
l8r-TimTim