(no subject)
yesterday i came home and i was pretty depressed. i did sumthin stupid again and then watched montel and oprah then just napped. after that i went to mandys and she found sumthin out about me and now shes pissed at me..she always fuckin is. so i went home and my mom took me to tutoring. i had my kewl tutor so it wasnt too bad but i was reely tired so i couldnt think straight. she prolly thought i was high since it was 420 lol but o well. so then i just went home, talked to sumone in particular online, showered, and went to bed. today was an alright day. i was extremely tired tho.....and it seemed like everyone else was too.... nothing too interesting happened. i worked on my project in ceramics its like this sandwich thing. i finished my letters to julia stiles and dashboard confessional for typing. i didnt get in trubble today at skool so that was good. o ya and they tried to throw me in the garbage again at the buses but christina saved me. then after skool i just came home alone and napped until like 5. then my mom took me to the psychiatrist. im staying on the 20 mgs of lexapro for my A.D.D and also sumwhat for depression even tho it isnt reely helping that. its making me reely tired but im doing a lot better in skool now. she also wants me to take this other medicine now called buspar for my anxiety. and i have to take 1 pill 3 times a day for a week, then next week i have to take 2 pills 3 times a day, then the week after that i have to take 3 pills 3 times a day. and then just keep taking the 3 pills 3 times a day for a while. im gonna be taking like 10 pills a day in 3 weeks. im gonna like puke or never be hungry frum having all those damn pills in my tummy. and then if my depression doesnt start to get better im gonna be taking more medicine for that. its gonna fuckin suck! but hopefully it will make me better. ah fuck im so messed up. i hate myself. mandys mad at me for sumthin.and a lot of other people are mad at me for the same thing. which sux cuz i didnt reely want any of them to kno! everyone shouldnt care. im a waste of their time... im just a fuck up.