Abstinence and subliminal messages
Today I actually went to school. Yesterday I only went to chemistry. I had this strange disease...one that could only be cured with a Carne Asada burrito from Humberto's down on 35th and Cactus. Since I value my health (that's right, my body is a fucking temple) I drove down for the burrito. You know, I really wanted to go to school too. Damn. I was so upset that I missed English class. Anyway, when I walked on campus today, I realized I should have stayed in bed. It started off oh-so-magically, with me failing another Calculus practice test. (Hooray! I'm now officially the dumbest person in the class!)
And then the torture started. Third hour, where Satan (in the form of Mrs. Hild) makes a personal appearance to ensure that each person is screaming in infinite pain. It's known to the rest of the campus as "Sociology Class." And lucky us, we were subjected to another day of abstinence talks! The brainwashing started on monday, when the guy from the Crisis Pregnancy Center passed out these blue papers that say on the top "Teens Are Saying kNOw."
You think they were hinting at something there? I liked how they threw that little subliminal message in there....really clever. Not only do teens want to "KNOW" about sex, but once they "KNOW" they are saying "NO!" Amazing how that works. OH! and then at the bottom, it said "The only true 'protection' is saVed sex." What do you think the 'V' stood for? Virgin, maybe? Venereal disease?
Then, he began beating his divine message of abstinence into our poor, confused, teenage brains. Obviously, we all needed (and wanted) his expert advice. I'll spare you the details of most of his speech, but I really need to hit on a few 'key' points:
(1) Secondary Virginity....WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! You know what, I'm sorry dude, but once you've lost your virginity IT'S NOT COMING BACK!! And how many times do you get the chance to be a secondary virgin? If you have a 'dry spell' is that the same as becoming a secondary virgin? And what happens when you lose your secondary virginity? Do you get to move up to the next level of virginity, just like moving up a level in a Nintendo game?
(2) Abstinence is "the resting place of your sexual activity until marriage" OK, that's wonderful. What if you don't want to get married? I guess you shouldn't have sex. What if you're gay, and it is ILLEGAL in most states for you to get married? Apparently, gay people don't count. They're not allowed to have sex either. You are only allowed to have sex with one person your entire life - the person you're going to marry. Nevermind the fact that the guy giving us the speech had sex with about a million people before he got married. YOU shouldn't do that.
And besides all that crap, I have reason to believe that the Crisis Pregnancy Center has religious ties. You could practically hear the undertones of "the Bible says..." in everything he said.
Anyway, there was no overall point to this, I would just like to say that the presentation made me want to have sex. Right now. With numerous amounts of people and no protection. And then have an abortion. Bring it on.
And then the torture started. Third hour, where Satan (in the form of Mrs. Hild) makes a personal appearance to ensure that each person is screaming in infinite pain. It's known to the rest of the campus as "Sociology Class." And lucky us, we were subjected to another day of abstinence talks! The brainwashing started on monday, when the guy from the Crisis Pregnancy Center passed out these blue papers that say on the top "Teens Are Saying kNOw."
You think they were hinting at something there? I liked how they threw that little subliminal message in there....really clever. Not only do teens want to "KNOW" about sex, but once they "KNOW" they are saying "NO!" Amazing how that works. OH! and then at the bottom, it said "The only true 'protection' is saVed sex." What do you think the 'V' stood for? Virgin, maybe? Venereal disease?
Then, he began beating his divine message of abstinence into our poor, confused, teenage brains. Obviously, we all needed (and wanted) his expert advice. I'll spare you the details of most of his speech, but I really need to hit on a few 'key' points:
(1) Secondary Virginity....WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! You know what, I'm sorry dude, but once you've lost your virginity IT'S NOT COMING BACK!! And how many times do you get the chance to be a secondary virgin? If you have a 'dry spell' is that the same as becoming a secondary virgin? And what happens when you lose your secondary virginity? Do you get to move up to the next level of virginity, just like moving up a level in a Nintendo game?
(2) Abstinence is "the resting place of your sexual activity until marriage" OK, that's wonderful. What if you don't want to get married? I guess you shouldn't have sex. What if you're gay, and it is ILLEGAL in most states for you to get married? Apparently, gay people don't count. They're not allowed to have sex either. You are only allowed to have sex with one person your entire life - the person you're going to marry. Nevermind the fact that the guy giving us the speech had sex with about a million people before he got married. YOU shouldn't do that.
And besides all that crap, I have reason to believe that the Crisis Pregnancy Center has religious ties. You could practically hear the undertones of "the Bible says..." in everything he said.
Anyway, there was no overall point to this, I would just like to say that the presentation made me want to have sex. Right now. With numerous amounts of people and no protection. And then have an abortion. Bring it on.