Neurotica
Anyone familiar even part way with the idea of being completely paranoid, manic and delusional here can appreciate that feeling of horror as your mind spins with the possibilities of a world that's engineered and structured totally to get you, to get at you and to get on your nerves. From the objects moving in the corner of your eye to the idea that nothing will ever go right for you, (and that when it does it's just so it can be snatched away again) the human mind is a temple of the ridiculous, the self involved and the plain scary.
If you've never played Tim Schafer's Psychonauts (Shame on you.) the basic premise is that you're a psychic cadet who projects himself in to the minds of others and all their neurosies, loves, fears, hates, conflicts and memories are personified and symbolised in great, winding and often quite dark 3D worlds. Childhood traumas become bloated, monstrous meat creatures, your worst days are stuffed in to weeping pieces of baggage and your own mind can strike out at you in an attempt to censor its own shame.
This has nothing on the ridiculous things the human mind can convince its self of, especially when it's floating on an (un)healthy dose of caffeine. In order that I may prove my point I wholeheartedly offer some of the sillier paranoias I've conceived and wonder if you've ever felt the same. No? Well... shit, read them anyways.
"This toothpaste is reccomended by dentists... surely people who make a fortune repairing your teeth can't have your best oral hygene interests at heart?"
Household products are an endless fascination for my paranoia. Will this additive harm me? Do the powers that be put things in our food to surpress our conscious minds? Is this pill any more than a placebo? Does the calorific content on this packaging lie to make it sound healthier than it is? Has this food gone bad despite it being well within its best before date, hence giving me an illness that will surely kill me? Are the chemicals in this cleaner/packaging safe for use by humans? When you can't trust anything in the fridge, the freezer, the medicine cabinet, the kitchen or the bathroom the simple act of going to the shops can become a case of horror.
Cthulhu? Global warming? Meh, I'm far too busy spazzing out over if the plastics in this packaging can make me ill.
"If I walk within ten feet of the person down the street they're going to think I'm following them."
To be fair, I suppose, I am fairly royally fucked up in the head but I'm sure these people have a whole world to be more interested in than than the fact I look a bit weird. This daft notion about people who haven't even registered me even sees me slow down, cross the road to get more space or just stop to... erm... check... thingy... in that subtle, natural way you do.
"I know I didn't pick up the coursework! Shit, it's due in today, I must check again!"
Now just making sure you've remembered something is one thing, but my university has a hand-in policy that involves us putting everything in A4 brown envelopes with the course's details and our student IDs etc. on them, and durin the course of handing in this work I need a constant supply of these brown envelopes because I keep ripping them open to make sure I've included all of the pages, that I've put the right work in the right envelope and that I've actually answered the right question.
On the final coursework deadline of last year I managed to transfer my magazine project through fully five brown envelopes and twice spazzed out about being at the right place to hand it in, a process I'd done a good 7 or 8 times beforehand and re-checked the brief on three occasions before I was convinced I'd actually done the work, printed it all off, checked it properly, labeled it, put it in the right envelope with the right topsheet, reprinted it multiple times and handed it in in the right place. I think I spent about £20 on printing that day...
"I leave it plugged in every night but if I do it tonight I know the house is going to burn down."
Normally I'm fine but every once in a while I have to turn off everything that can be turned off on a device, unplug it, turn the socket switch off and move the plug well away from the socket in case...
...well, I don't know really. All my houses have had circuit breakers, the devices are reliable and probably couldn't start a fire anyway, and I've done it 1000 times before. I'm gonna sit curled up in the corner and sing the doom song.
"I just got a letter from college services asking me to go and see them, they must want to kick me out."
This one is a classic, I go through it at least once a year. I've got good attendance, I get good grades and only occasionally skip lessons when I'm tired/not feeling too great/just want to hang out with friends and I've seen people wit way worse track records get on just fine but the moment I open one of these letters I know I'm in so much trouble. And you know what? Almost every single gorram time it's some sort of satisfaction survey/progress meeting just to see how I'm getting on, or some small, inconsequential piece of paperwork they've lost they need me to fill in again. I fail at rationality.
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I could go on and find a whole load more of these but I'm sure you get the idea, and it can only go on for so long before it becomes less funny and more scary or self-involved. Feel free to post your own experiences of sudden manic turns, panic attacks and general personal stupidity in the name of insecurity, lord knows it'd make me feel less mental.
Now to the translation! As a continuing effort to imrpove communications on this wonderful global medium that is the internet I'm going to turn to online translators, truly the bane of the brilliant
padparadscha's existence with their accurate, speedy translation of documents. By taking this post, feeding it through to, say, Japanese and then re-translating it back to English, I'm sure there can be no mistakes!
See the page in Japanese!
And the effortless translation back in to English.
Feeling the fear completely is designed as your heart methodological here of the uniform part where the thought anyone the paranoia, the 躁 illness and delusion completely is well known profit, can recognize the fact that it turns with the possibility of the world where it is formed in order with you to obtain with profit and your nerve. When, (and doing from the object which moves to the thought of not going just with what with the corner of your eye because of you fairness therefore it is possible) as for human heart ridiculous, to rob for the second time, oneself which is included and it is the temple of the fearful plain. When it does not do under any condition,
Psychonauts of Tim Schafer (as for your shame. ) Basic prerequisite the cadet of the soul which shows him himself to heart of other things and all neurosies, is love, fear, hatred and opposition, it is especially and the frequency to which to which memory is large, winds to be materialized in the rather dark 3D world, to symbolized. It made the external wound of infancy period swell, it matches to enormous meat creative ones, the day when you are worst does not be plugged to the part where the baggage cries, to strike you it is possible your yourself heart in order to censor itself shame. As for this when especially floating, oneself you can be convinced human heart nothing of ridiculous things it possesses, (un of the caffeine) the healthy dose. Whether or not a certain thing which a certain thing which I imagine because I including selfishness, prove my point offers, feels the same think in doubt portion of the most foolish paranoia. Calling you obtain? The well... is every わ read those in any case.
The good fortune which "repairs your tooth it is not possible to have the interest of of oral hygene you are best? "It makes or, someone reccomended... as for a certain household product which makes the people live certainly is unlimited fascination for my paranoia in the center with this tooth polishing powder dentist. Does this additive give damage to me? As for the power which means that our food is placed to the heart surpress which we are conscious? Already is there this pill from the false medicine? Calorie of this packing is caused in order to make to that rather than being, are there healthy healthy contents? Therefore does this food most very carefully in spite even to that it is and goes inside before the bad state date give the sickness which kills certainly me in me? Is the chemical of this cleaner/packaging safe for using with the human? When with the cooling system relying on with anything, the freezer and the medicine cabinet, to become example of simple behavior fear of the thing which goes to the store it is possible the kitchen or the bathroom. Cthulhu? Terrestrial warming? Meh, I to cause the cancer, according to this plastic which is wrapped am distant, it is busy even excessively the excess spazzing.
If walk "I within 10 feet of the person under sort, me those. In order to be fair "it has been about to think of the next thing, I suppose with the head, me have sexual intercourse rather nicely, but these people having the entire world due to from the fact where I who should you cause interest more look at the incomprehensible bit thing is verified. This daft concept concerning the people who do not register me being delicate, natural method observes at that thing I decelerate and/or fair stop... erm... inspection...... whether many spaces than thingy makes the road cross in order to obtain.
"I have known that I do not choose coursework! It is every わ, that it is today, you must inspect naturally, me for the second time,! It is one thing "something that, but in my university as for me making the work the right the envelope the right, and as for me being thing really to answer to the question the right I as for me to verify that everything of the page is included detail of the course which continues to tear those which were opened in order and the envelope of A4 brown and as for course me of the thing which transfers with this work of durin which includes us who make everything ID and the like of our students in those being a of the policy hand which needs the supply which the envelope of these browns fixes now exactly Verifying, remembering. I making of that be convinced in the deadline of final coursework of last year, before being I, transferring after as for me sufficiently that project of my magazine is moved through the envelope of five browns doing, concerning two degrees being 7 to I may turn to the place the right or beforehand, 8 times to work be printed, and the report being reconfirmed in three opportunities, really, that entirely that be inspected classified, securely, that topsheet and the putting the right, the many time that be reprinted in the envelope on that right, how, and the right The process spazzed which the place is transferred. I me approximately 20... you used think of that in printing that day
"I if all nights leave you inserting that and/or, that my tonight i do, the house. But I who know that "it has been about to burn am good normally occasionally I... turn off with the device, that pull out the plug, turn off the socket switch and must turn off everything which can move the well of the plug which leaves from the socket... to be good, I really do not know. My house to be the breaker entirely, be able to rely on the device, it was not possible perhaps to begin the fire in any case, and as for me designates 1000 that as before a certain thing which. It is song of the destiny where I sit down, gonna the cirque am done with the corner and sing. "As for me way exactly those it goes to seeing from the university service which is asked to me.
You must think that "we would like to kick me, this one which obtains the letter classic, me one time goes at least in year with that, is. I have good attendance, method of the wit of the people the bad result, the time I as for me observed at that one of these letters where so I have known a certain thing in trouble is obtained with the fair fine, but for I the feeling tired/not excessively to pass the friend and the time of great/just, that you want, when you think and opening only I good class profit, the time do not fly the time lesson. And what is known? Almost I of that seeding in the time of all single gorram how have obtained, or document office work it is small, being lost in part those of unrelated, whether there is I who need that it enters for the second time the assembly of of the satisfaction survey/progress which you see exactly is. I fail with rational.
If you've never played Tim Schafer's Psychonauts (Shame on you.) the basic premise is that you're a psychic cadet who projects himself in to the minds of others and all their neurosies, loves, fears, hates, conflicts and memories are personified and symbolised in great, winding and often quite dark 3D worlds. Childhood traumas become bloated, monstrous meat creatures, your worst days are stuffed in to weeping pieces of baggage and your own mind can strike out at you in an attempt to censor its own shame.
This has nothing on the ridiculous things the human mind can convince its self of, especially when it's floating on an (un)healthy dose of caffeine. In order that I may prove my point I wholeheartedly offer some of the sillier paranoias I've conceived and wonder if you've ever felt the same. No? Well... shit, read them anyways.
"This toothpaste is reccomended by dentists... surely people who make a fortune repairing your teeth can't have your best oral hygene interests at heart?"
Household products are an endless fascination for my paranoia. Will this additive harm me? Do the powers that be put things in our food to surpress our conscious minds? Is this pill any more than a placebo? Does the calorific content on this packaging lie to make it sound healthier than it is? Has this food gone bad despite it being well within its best before date, hence giving me an illness that will surely kill me? Are the chemicals in this cleaner/packaging safe for use by humans? When you can't trust anything in the fridge, the freezer, the medicine cabinet, the kitchen or the bathroom the simple act of going to the shops can become a case of horror.
Cthulhu? Global warming? Meh, I'm far too busy spazzing out over if the plastics in this packaging can make me ill.
"If I walk within ten feet of the person down the street they're going to think I'm following them."
To be fair, I suppose, I am fairly royally fucked up in the head but I'm sure these people have a whole world to be more interested in than than the fact I look a bit weird. This daft notion about people who haven't even registered me even sees me slow down, cross the road to get more space or just stop to... erm... check... thingy... in that subtle, natural way you do.
"I know I didn't pick up the coursework! Shit, it's due in today, I must check again!"
Now just making sure you've remembered something is one thing, but my university has a hand-in policy that involves us putting everything in A4 brown envelopes with the course's details and our student IDs etc. on them, and durin the course of handing in this work I need a constant supply of these brown envelopes because I keep ripping them open to make sure I've included all of the pages, that I've put the right work in the right envelope and that I've actually answered the right question.
On the final coursework deadline of last year I managed to transfer my magazine project through fully five brown envelopes and twice spazzed out about being at the right place to hand it in, a process I'd done a good 7 or 8 times beforehand and re-checked the brief on three occasions before I was convinced I'd actually done the work, printed it all off, checked it properly, labeled it, put it in the right envelope with the right topsheet, reprinted it multiple times and handed it in in the right place. I think I spent about £20 on printing that day...
"I leave it plugged in every night but if I do it tonight I know the house is going to burn down."
Normally I'm fine but every once in a while I have to turn off everything that can be turned off on a device, unplug it, turn the socket switch off and move the plug well away from the socket in case...
...well, I don't know really. All my houses have had circuit breakers, the devices are reliable and probably couldn't start a fire anyway, and I've done it 1000 times before. I'm gonna sit curled up in the corner and sing the doom song.
"I just got a letter from college services asking me to go and see them, they must want to kick me out."
This one is a classic, I go through it at least once a year. I've got good attendance, I get good grades and only occasionally skip lessons when I'm tired/not feeling too great/just want to hang out with friends and I've seen people wit way worse track records get on just fine but the moment I open one of these letters I know I'm in so much trouble. And you know what? Almost every single gorram time it's some sort of satisfaction survey/progress meeting just to see how I'm getting on, or some small, inconsequential piece of paperwork they've lost they need me to fill in again. I fail at rationality.
-----------------
I could go on and find a whole load more of these but I'm sure you get the idea, and it can only go on for so long before it becomes less funny and more scary or self-involved. Feel free to post your own experiences of sudden manic turns, panic attacks and general personal stupidity in the name of insecurity, lord knows it'd make me feel less mental.
Now to the translation! As a continuing effort to imrpove communications on this wonderful global medium that is the internet I'm going to turn to online translators, truly the bane of the brilliant
padparadscha's existence with their accurate, speedy translation of documents. By taking this post, feeding it through to, say, Japanese and then re-translating it back to English, I'm sure there can be no mistakes!
See the page in Japanese!
And the effortless translation back in to English.
Feeling the fear completely is designed as your heart methodological here of the uniform part where the thought anyone the paranoia, the 躁 illness and delusion completely is well known profit, can recognize the fact that it turns with the possibility of the world where it is formed in order with you to obtain with profit and your nerve. When, (and doing from the object which moves to the thought of not going just with what with the corner of your eye because of you fairness therefore it is possible) as for human heart ridiculous, to rob for the second time, oneself which is included and it is the temple of the fearful plain. When it does not do under any condition,
Psychonauts of Tim Schafer (as for your shame. ) Basic prerequisite the cadet of the soul which shows him himself to heart of other things and all neurosies, is love, fear, hatred and opposition, it is especially and the frequency to which to which memory is large, winds to be materialized in the rather dark 3D world, to symbolized. It made the external wound of infancy period swell, it matches to enormous meat creative ones, the day when you are worst does not be plugged to the part where the baggage cries, to strike you it is possible your yourself heart in order to censor itself shame. As for this when especially floating, oneself you can be convinced human heart nothing of ridiculous things it possesses, (un of the caffeine) the healthy dose. Whether or not a certain thing which a certain thing which I imagine because I including selfishness, prove my point offers, feels the same think in doubt portion of the most foolish paranoia. Calling you obtain? The well... is every わ read those in any case.
The good fortune which "repairs your tooth it is not possible to have the interest of of oral hygene you are best? "It makes or, someone reccomended... as for a certain household product which makes the people live certainly is unlimited fascination for my paranoia in the center with this tooth polishing powder dentist. Does this additive give damage to me? As for the power which means that our food is placed to the heart surpress which we are conscious? Already is there this pill from the false medicine? Calorie of this packing is caused in order to make to that rather than being, are there healthy healthy contents? Therefore does this food most very carefully in spite even to that it is and goes inside before the bad state date give the sickness which kills certainly me in me? Is the chemical of this cleaner/packaging safe for using with the human? When with the cooling system relying on with anything, the freezer and the medicine cabinet, to become example of simple behavior fear of the thing which goes to the store it is possible the kitchen or the bathroom. Cthulhu? Terrestrial warming? Meh, I to cause the cancer, according to this plastic which is wrapped am distant, it is busy even excessively the excess spazzing.
If walk "I within 10 feet of the person under sort, me those. In order to be fair "it has been about to think of the next thing, I suppose with the head, me have sexual intercourse rather nicely, but these people having the entire world due to from the fact where I who should you cause interest more look at the incomprehensible bit thing is verified. This daft concept concerning the people who do not register me being delicate, natural method observes at that thing I decelerate and/or fair stop... erm... inspection...... whether many spaces than thingy makes the road cross in order to obtain.
"I have known that I do not choose coursework! It is every わ, that it is today, you must inspect naturally, me for the second time,! It is one thing "something that, but in my university as for me making the work the right the envelope the right, and as for me being thing really to answer to the question the right I as for me to verify that everything of the page is included detail of the course which continues to tear those which were opened in order and the envelope of A4 brown and as for course me of the thing which transfers with this work of durin which includes us who make everything ID and the like of our students in those being a of the policy hand which needs the supply which the envelope of these browns fixes now exactly Verifying, remembering. I making of that be convinced in the deadline of final coursework of last year, before being I, transferring after as for me sufficiently that project of my magazine is moved through the envelope of five browns doing, concerning two degrees being 7 to I may turn to the place the right or beforehand, 8 times to work be printed, and the report being reconfirmed in three opportunities, really, that entirely that be inspected classified, securely, that topsheet and the putting the right, the many time that be reprinted in the envelope on that right, how, and the right The process spazzed which the place is transferred. I me approximately 20... you used think of that in printing that day
"I if all nights leave you inserting that and/or, that my tonight i do, the house. But I who know that "it has been about to burn am good normally occasionally I... turn off with the device, that pull out the plug, turn off the socket switch and must turn off everything which can move the well of the plug which leaves from the socket... to be good, I really do not know. My house to be the breaker entirely, be able to rely on the device, it was not possible perhaps to begin the fire in any case, and as for me designates 1000 that as before a certain thing which. It is song of the destiny where I sit down, gonna the cirque am done with the corner and sing. "As for me way exactly those it goes to seeing from the university service which is asked to me.
You must think that "we would like to kick me, this one which obtains the letter classic, me one time goes at least in year with that, is. I have good attendance, method of the wit of the people the bad result, the time I as for me observed at that one of these letters where so I have known a certain thing in trouble is obtained with the fair fine, but for I the feeling tired/not excessively to pass the friend and the time of great/just, that you want, when you think and opening only I good class profit, the time do not fly the time lesson. And what is known? Almost I of that seeding in the time of all single gorram how have obtained, or document office work it is small, being lost in part those of unrelated, whether there is I who need that it enters for the second time the assembly of of the satisfaction survey/progress which you see exactly is. I fail with rational.