This has been the first week of the rest of my life - Part 1

Jan 14, 2009 22:43

Ever get the feeling that you needed to stop your life and start over? I did - for most of last year in fact - and so now I've gone and done it. The jury is still out on whether it was the right decision or not, but it hasn't been disasterous yet, so fingers-crossed things will fall into place in the next few weeks...


This is my summing-up post. I didn't manage to be sociable enough to write on LJ at all last year (though I did read by flist regularly), but I have plans to change that this year - we'll see how that works out.

2008, for me, was kind of strange. It wasn't actuallly dreadful, just unsettled, and far too many things seemed to come around full circle at once - like I had completed the loop and was headed around again. I moved back to my original team at work, with many of the same people, even; I moved back to the house I grew up in... things like that. Combine that feeling with an ever-increasing paid workload, house-hunting, and a guide unit that doubled in size but halved in leadership, and it was all a bit much, really.

The really annoying bits started when I got home from Festival at Easter to a letter from my landlord terminating my lease for the flat I'd lived in for 6 years - no grounds, but the Sydney real-estate market being what it was, he'd decided he'd rather live in the place than rent it out. I can understand that, but I certainly wasn't happy.

I spent half of my two months notice period on various Guide Camps, and the other half house-hunting before reluctantly admitting that I wasn't going to find anything in time, and moving back in with my parents. Luckily they have enough garage space that they could store my furniture: and garden space for all my potplants! It took me three car trips to clear all the pots off my balcony, and to this day I'm not entirely certain how they all fitted.

The downside was the commute - a 45 minute drive each way on a good day (and no usable public transport). My flat had been only 15 minutes from work, and I was stretched to fit everything in my day when living there: losing anouther hour from each day in travelling did not help my stress levels.

The house hunt continued for another couple of months. I found two places I liked, but competition was such that I didn't get either. Luckily by the time I got to the thoroughly-fed-up-with-estate-agents point, my Mum spotted an ad for a job she thought I'd be interested in (a conclusion I agreed with) and so I decided to apply, and take a break till I knew whether I was going to change jobs or not.

There was minor drama associated with the job application: my first-round interview was by teleconference, and the AV gear was so new no-once in the office knew how to work it. I got it going eventually (I occasionally wonder if it was a test), but the interview ran an hour latem and I had to sneak back to work afterward. For the second-round one, they flew me up to the actual job site, but unfortunately I'd been down with the truly nasty flu that went round Sydney last winter. I'd spent several days unable to stay upright more than an hour, then had to travel an hour to the airport 7am flight, 1 hour taxi trip, 6 hours of interviews and the return trip... distinctly not fun. People kept trying to feed me, but eating was the last thing I wanted to do - I was too busy trying to both make sense and pretend I wasn't falling over... the whole day is a bit of a blur, now.

After the interview-of-illness, I didn't hear anything for months. I had major deadlines making my life hell in my old job, and my co-leader in the Guide unit had to quit for family reasons, leaving me with sole responsibility for running a two hour weekly program and weekend events for over 20 girls. The parents helped out, but it was still too much for me to be hapy about. I owe apologies to everyone who had to deal with me during that period - I was horribly snappy about pretty much everything.

Eventually the wheels of beaurocracy turned back to me, and I was offered my new job. It was a bit of a pay cut to take, but I completely wasn't coping with the old one, and the new should be less intense, so I decided to go for it. Because I am something of a sucker, though, I arranged to delay my start enough to complete my part of the project at my old job. I'd had it with the deadlines, but quite liked my actual teammates, and didn't want to leave them in too much of a hole... fairly arrogant to think myself that indispensable, perhaps, but I had far too much of the design only in my own head to be content leaving them without it at least written down.

The last few weeks were a bit of a deathmarch: long, long hours at work, panicking teammates (schadenfreude isn't nice, but it is satisfying) and a desperate attempt to find a set of replacement Guide leaders. Unfortunately I failed at the last: no volunteers stepped forward, and the unit had to be put into recess, despite still having 23 active members and a 50-year history. At least there are enough surrounding units that the girls will all be able to continue if they choose: I hope they do - they're a great bunch of kids. The last meeting was fairly traumatic: I held it together until the end, but only got three words into Taps before dissolving - emotional baggage everywhere.

My last day at work was the Friday before Christmas, leaving me with two and a half weeks to do the shopping, the family Christmas whirlwind, catch up with the friends I'd missed for pretty much the whole year, and arrange an interstate move. I strongly recommend leaving yourself more time than I did, should you ever be in a like situation! My short break between jobs disappeared into a whirwind of Family for Christmas (fun), friends for new Years (also fun) and boxes (not fun).

Apropos of disappearing, my evening has disappeared while writing this post, so I'm going to stop and sleep instead of completing my return-to-LJ post in one go. Stay tuned for the rest of the story any day now (for real, this time).

moving house, work, not dead

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