yeah, i know this feeling. thats why my journal is mutual friends only and blocked to everyone else. ive been chastised a whole lot for including too many details about my personal affairs in the last couple of years so i eventually had to do something to shut people up. everyone who has bitched or presented a problem can pretend that i dont exist while the precious few who seem to care in some way still get to see it all. theres just something so infinitely therapeutic about putting my emotions, hopes, thoughts, and musings into words to be shared with some kind of audience. its like none of my thoughts make sense until i sit down and organize them as text. before i was this comfortable with the internet, i always wrote my volumes in little notebooks that nobody will probably ever read. ive got stacks of them in boxes dating back from as early as i was able to form sentences. looking back on some of the stuff i have been known to write by hand, it was very easy to get stuck in flawed lines of thinking because it was like a playground where even my most childish emotions could run wild. i find that since i switched to having my diary on the internet, ive had to deal with the consequences of what i feel. not just being afraid someone would stumble upon my diary and read it, but knowing good and well that every time i post a blog, somebody reads it. this caused me to think more clearly before i write, and eventually before i even feel. i dont know im probably going overboard with all this, i have more to say on the subject, and if you care to hear it i will be on aim.
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