its been a while

[i_am_trav]

lifes been getting crazy, working often to obtain money to pay off debt to parents and christmas gifts, realizing things that u dont want to come true that u know will come true, having more than one friend at a time have serious life issues and being told their is nothing u can do, and u believe them because u know u mean nothing and cannot help, looking back on old things and realizing that u were once a complete and udder bafoon, and now u realize, that ure worse than that time u looked back on. life is getting to that point that was worse my sophmor and junior year, the beams are starting to crumble and fracture, repairs have been made in the past, but a bandaid on a gash doesn't heal the wound, it only delays the problem until a solution is found, but revelations may help u or hurt you, this one just makes me realize that all i have is bandaids, and they aren't holding back the gash in my heart, my head, and soul. the pain is still there, the throbbing pain that always seems to come back no matter what u do to dull it. not only do these gashes hurt, but they make me think things ive never wanted to think again, but these thoughts always seem to linger in the back of my head like a little roach hiding under the refregerator after being caught trying to steal food, but u cannot kill the roach, to far back to hit him, and hes immune to chemicals, so its sitting there, annoying the living shit out of u to the point where ure ready to anything to get rid of it. this mind of mine never seems to amaze me, and it never seems to stop either, because im sitting here awake as hell because all i can do right now is think, sleep is no longer a regular occurence, its just a phase like everything else in my life turns out to be, just a continuous line of phases. sometimes, i could only wish, that i could roam the earth as a spirit, along side my friends and assist them when they needed me to, but i dont want to be recognized in this life, i just want to be nonexistant, almost as if i was there, but not. im sorry for this rant, to much has been going on to just let this moment of intellectual inspiration and activity go to waste. goodnight dear friends and readers, for i am going to attempt the impossible feat of sleep.

Trav
Lifes Lost Cause