Holidays with the Grahams: Thanksgiving
Title: Holidays with the Grahams: Thanksgiving
Characters: Quentin, Tyler Jordan, Harold, Kendall, Theresa, Wendy, and Olivia Graham
Rating: PG
Word count: 5285
Notes: This is going to be a three part series, if I can actually make myself do it. The Graham family does holidays very well, and Quentin gets folded into the family traditions as the first person to marry into the clan.
Timeline: November 26, 2015
“I’m kinda nervous about this. What if I stick my foot in my mouth?” Quentin said as they walked up to the front door of the Graham residence. “I don’t know how to be nice on the holidays.”
“Relax,” Tyler Jordan told him. “We’re so low key. Nobody’s going to argue about politics or religion or anything. Just be yourself, you can be so charming when you want to be. Seriously, this is just about eating too much food and being grateful.” He bumped his shoulder against Quentin’s. “And I have so much to be grateful for this year.”
“Yeah… okay. It’ll be fine,” Quentin said uncertainly. He clutched the pumpkin pie he was carrying a little tighter and followed Tyler Jordan into his family’s home. The air was full of tantalizing scents, and Olivia hopped up from the couch to come kiss her brother hello.
“TJ! Quentin! Hi!” She hugged Quentin next, and he gave Tyler Jordan a wide-eyed look over her shoulder. “You have good timing, the turkey’s about to come out of the oven.”
“We just came when Theresa told us to,” Tyler Jordan said, and he took the pie from Quentin and headed into the kitchen. “Kendall? What are you doing here?”
“Flew in yesterday,” Kendall said, and after a hug he held her at arm’s length to look her over. Since the last time he’d seen her in person she’d gotten her septum pierced, dyed candy-pink streaks into her hair, and there was the edge of a tattoo peeking over the collar of her sweater. “Had to meet the new family member,” she added, and hit his shoulder. “Since you fucking got married in secret, what the hell was that about?”
“That was my fault,” Quentin said, leaning against Tyler Jordan as soon as Tyler Jordan put the pie on the kitchen counter. “If it makes you feel any better, we had your family as witnesses, my family didn’t even find out about it until we changed our relationship status on Facebook.”
“That doesn’t actually make me feel better,” she said, eyeing him critically before stepping in to hug him. “That just makes me wonder what your problem is.”
“Rude,” Wendy said, “At least say hello before you poke his insecurities. Hi Quentin, please tell me you weren’t involved in baking this pie. See? That’s how you do it.”
“The pie was all Tyler Jordan,” Quentin said, “and I feel very attacked right now.”
“That’s because my sisters are bitches,” Theresa said. “Hi guys.” She didn’t turn around from where she was sticking a meat thermometer in the turkey. “I hope you’re hungry cause I might have gone a teensy bit overboard this year.”
“Good, the crazier you go, the more leftovers we get to take home,” Tyler Jordan said. “Also can everyone not immediately disprove the reassurances I just gave my husband?”
“Still not as bad as Thanksgiving with my family,” Quentin said. “They don’t know me well enough to get really personal.”
“I was mostly joking,” Kendall said. “I’ll be nice. Hi, Quentin, it’s nice to finally meet you in person. I’m the interesting sister.”
“Rude,” Wendy said again. “You mean you’re the crazy sister.”
“I’m the crazy interesting sister. You’re the crazy woo-woo sister. Theresa is the crazy cat lady sister.”
“I’m the normal sister,” Olivia said, coming in behind them with a fat black and white cat in her arms. “For a given value of normal.” The cat meowed and she scratched its tummy.
“Hey, I’m not the one who brought the cats home,” Theresa said, putting the turkey back into the oven. “Paul is the crazy cat lady brother. The bird needs ten more minutes, and then twenty to settle before we can carve it. Did someone set the table?”
“I did,” Wendy said, but she went to the silverware drawer to grab a handful of forks and knives and go into the dining room.
“Where’s Dad?” Tyler Jordan asked.
“He’s downstairs,” Theresa said. “Looking for your baby photos to embarrass you with.”
“Please, I’m not embarrassed by my baby photos, I was fucking adorable,” Tyler Jordan said with a roll of his eyes. “I’m just worried that seeing my cute little baby cheeks will give Quentin baby rabies and he’ll start looking for a surrogate behind my back.” Quentin snorted. “Is he downstairs for real?”
“Yeah, go down there and help him bring the drinks up,” Kendall said.
“Why didn’t you go down and help him?” Tyler Jordan asked.
“Because I’m vital up here, obviously,” she said. Quentin shook his head and went for the basement stairs, leaving Kendall and Tyler Jordan sniping playfully at each other behind him.
“Hello? Mr. Graham?” he called as he went down, and he heard a laugh before he saw the man.
“Quentin, please, you don’t have to be so formal.” Harold was standing in front of a wine rack, a bottle in each hand, and he turned to smile at Quentin. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you that you can call me Harold. You can even call me Dad if you want to, I am your father-in-law now.”
“I don’t call anyone Dad,” Quentin said. “I mean, I never have in my life. It would take some getting used to. Sorry, I don’t mean to be… distant or whatever.”
“You’re not distant, I just want you to be comfortable here,” Harold said. “I’m glad that you’re part of my family now. I’m sure Tyler Jordan’s told you how important family is to us.”
“It’s pretty obvious,” Quentin said, and he took both the wine bottles when Harold handed them to him. “You’re very tight-knit. It’s not something I’m accustomed to at all.”
“Well, I hope you will get accustomed to it.” There was another refrigerator next to a chest freezer down here, and Harold pulled a gallon of apple cider from it. “We’re big on holidays. I hope it’s not overwhelming.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Quentin said, and he headed back upstairs only to have Tyler Jordan kiss him soundly as soon as he made it past the door.
“My favorite person and my favorite wine, couldn’t be better.” He liberated the Pinot Noir from Quentin’s grasp, and Quentin rolled his eyes and put the Riesling on the counter by the pie.
“You know, you’re the only person he’s ever brought home for Thanksgiving,” Theresa said.
“Maria’s family always did dinner at the same time we did,” Tyler Jordan said, and Theresa rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, but you spent one year with her family instead of with us. She never agreed to come here for the meal. Total red flag.”
“Yeah, yeah, the last like four years I was with her was a total red flag, shut up about it,” he sighed. “Can we maybe not remind me how much of an idiot I was for so long? I came pretty close to ruining my life but I didn’t actually do it.”
“Don’t worry, if anyone is going to ruin your life now it’s me,” Quentin said. “I’ll prevent you from ruining it yourself.”
“I think you’re wildly overestimating your ability to do that,” Kendall said. “Or wildly underestimating his ability to ruin it. Or both.”
“Jesus, you got mean living in Germany,” Tyler Jordan said. “What the hell did they do to you over there?”
“What does anyone do in Germany?” she asked. “Film a lot of kinky dungeon porn, mostly.”
“Kendall,” Harold said, sounding shocked, and Kendall laughed. “Please tell me that’s a joke.”
“Sure, Dad, it’s a joke,” she said, not sounding terribly convincing. Tyler Jordan and Harold had identical squicked-out expressions on their faces. “Oh my god, chill out. I’m not a porn star.”
“She’s lying,” Theresa said. “Jonathan sent me a link asking me when I started doing porn. Thanks for making me explain that to my friend, by the way. I really appreciate my identical twin strutting around in a strapon on a niche kink site. That’s not awkward at all for me.”
“Can you not,” Tyler Jordan said. Harold looked like he wished someone would kill him.
“You guys are so easy,” Theresa said, and fistbumped Kendall. “Twins one, family zero.”
“You know, I suddenly don’t feel like the weirdest person in this room, so thanks for that,” Quentin said. “I’m not sure whether the two of you are hilarious or creepy.”
“Oh, we’re definitely both,” Kendall said. “You have no idea cause you’ve only seen Theresa on her own before now. We’re unstoppable together. And, uh, we’re going to be together a lot more pretty soon.”
“What?” Harold asked.
“I’m coming home at the end of the year. Europe is getting kind of… iffy, these days. I’m thinking probably being on this continent is the safer choice to make before fucking World War Three breaks out or whatever the hell is going to happen with all the crazy shit going down now.”
“Language,” Harold said reflexively, and then, “Really? That’s cautious of you.”
“What happened in Paris could happen in Berlin,” she said. “And I’m not sticking around to get shot or blown up or kidnapped or anything else. I’d rather get drive-by shot in Detroit than terrorist shot in Dusseldorf.” She shook her head. “I’m almost done with my degree anyways. I can take my last twelve credits somewhere in the US.”
“Good, this house is feeling empty with Paul and Wendy both out of it. Come home and keep me company,” Theresa said. She stuck the meat thermometer in the turkey again, then moved it to the top of the stove. “Okay, help me get the side dishes to the table before I carve this.”
Between the seven of them, they got the table decked out in short order. Theresa hadn’t been kidding when she said she’d outdone herself-- to go with the twenty pound turkey there were two kinds of stuffing, two kinds of mashed potatoes, baked mac and cheese, fresh green beans and corn and peas, roasted squash, sweet potato souffle, two kinds of cranberry sauce, a fresh salad with tomatoes and avocado, a plate of olives and pickles, a whole basket of rolls, and enough gravy to drown a cat in. Aside from the pumpkin pie Tyler Jordan had made, there was also an apple pie, a pecan pie, and a chocolate cherry piecaken.
“The Graham family does not fuck around when it comes to Thanksgiving,” Quentin said, after everyone had loaded their plates.
“Language,” Harold said, and then covered his face with one hand. “I’m sorry, Quentin, you’re not my child.”
“I’m sorry I don’t even realize when I’m swearing,” Quentin said. “My mother never even attempted not to swear in front of us. I’m pretty sure the third word I said was a swear word.”
“Really? Which one?” Olivia asked.
“I’m not going to say it in front of your father,” Quentin said, flushing slightly. “One of the worse ones.”
“That’s crazy, I didn’t even hear a curse word in English until I was like twelve years old,” Kendall said. “Let alone before I even knew how to speak.”
“I could make a list of ways my upbringing and your upbringing were different, but it would be much easier and shorter to list the ways they were the same.” Quentin shook his head. “They weren’t the same. At all.”
“That’s exaggerating slightly,” Tyler Jordan said. “We were both raised by single parents.”
“You at least had two parents for some part of your childhood. I never had anything like a father figure at all. It was just Mom and Grandma. And you were all wanted,” Quentin said, and the flush darkened and he reached for his wine glass. “And I’m not ruining Thanksgiving with my pathetic backstory, sorry, someone change the topic of conversation please.” Tyler Jordan reached over and squeezed Quentin’s knee gently, and Quentin shook his head and tangled their fingers together briefly.
“I’m trying to figure out what to do with all my stuff in Germany before I come home,” Kendall said. “Most of the furniture I’m just going to donate, but I have way more clothes than I can fit in two suitcases and I really like most of them.”
“Well, you brought some of it home this time, right?” Theresa asked. “You didn’t just squander this opportunity, did you?”
“Hell no I didn’t,” Kendall said, “I’m leaving everything I brought except the clothes I’m flying back in and my empty suitcases. I still have more than I can fit. And I have to sell most of my electronics because I’m not buying an adapter. But I don’t want to sell all the art I made while I was there. I’m going to give some of it to my friends but I want to bring a lot of it home.”
“So mail it back here,” Harold said. “It’s cheaper to pay for international shipping than for additional bags on an airplane.”
“True. And international shipping ain’t cheap,” Kendall said. “I should probably put the art in my suitcase and mail the clothes.” A very insistent meow sounded from under the table, and Kendall held a piece of turkey down for the cat. A few more meows immediately happened, and Theresa sighed and broke off a couple more pieces for the other cats.
“Bring me back some German wine,” Theresa said. “I want like three bottles of the best Riesling you can find.”
“I’ll bring you back some Stollen and Pfefferkuchen too,” Kendall said. “Since the Christmas markets will definitely be running before I come back.”
“I want chocolate,” Olivia said. “A lot of chocolate.”
“Any other requests?” Kendall sighed.
“The weirdest liquor they don’t export,” Tyler Jordan said. “Something I’ve never even heard of before.”
“I just want you to come home safely,” Harold said, “before Christmas, without any new piercings or tattoos.”
“Dad,” Kendall whined. “Come on, I was going to get like six facial piercings because I know how much you love them!”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Harold said. “I never know if you’re being serious or just messing with me, but I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Well, I was going to get snake bites,” she said. “But they can wait until next year, I guess.”
“I don’t know what that is but I already don’t like it.”
“I think we should all get snake bites,” Tyler Jordan said. “All six of us. We can make Paul do it too.”
“That’s pretty gay,” Quentin said, and Tyler Jordan batted his eyes at him.
“Well, good thing we’re queer as hell, huh?”
“You realize all the things you can’t do with fresh lip piercings, right?”
“Nevermind,” Tyler Jordan said immediately. “I changed my mind.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Quentin said with a smirk, and Harold sighed and reached for the bottle of Pinot Noir to pour himself a very full glass. “You shouldn’t put holes in your face anyways. Your face is perfect.”
“Aw, lemon drop.” Tyler Jordan curled his foot around Quentin’s ankle and beamed at him. “I think they’d look good though.”
“I want snake bites,” Olivia said.
“I thought you wanted a nose ring,” Harold said.
“It doesn’t matter, you won’t let me get any of them,” she sighed.
“Not until you’re eighteen.”
“Theresa has to get a tattoo before I can get one,” Wendy said. “We have to go in order. Kendall had to wait for Tyler Jordan to get one.”
“I didn’t have to,” Kendall said. “That’s just how it happened.”
“I don’t want a tattoo,” Theresa said. “That’s not my style.”
“Come on, you could get a totally cute little ball of yarn. I’m not saying you have to get like an entire sleeve, just something.”
“No way. Get one now, cause if you wait for me you’re never going to get one.”
“Come on, don’t break the chain.”
“Not happening.”
“Don’t bully your sister into body art she doesn’t want,” Harold said. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t get any either.”
“It’s almost adorable how much of a stick in the mud you are, Dad,” Kendall said. “What part of raising a bunch of free-thinking atheists made you think we wouldn’t be inclined toward body modification?”
“Irrational optimism,” Harold said.
“Which most of us inherited from you,” Tyler Jordan added. “Hey, I know, we should take you to get a tattoo. Fifty-five isn’t too old.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You should totally do it! Get a line of binary code, that would be awesome,” Wendy said.
“No.”
“How about an anchor? Since you grew up on the coast,” Kendall suggested. “That’s totally badass.”
“No, he should get a whale,” Olivia said.
“I’m not getting anything!” Harold said. “I will ground all of you if you don’t drop this.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Theresa said.
“I’ve never had to ground you in your entire life,” Harold said. “You’re my good child.”
“Hey,” Tyler Jordan, Wendy, and Olivia all said. Kendall just shrugged.
“Don’t act offended at that,” Quentin said. “You know you’re not the good child.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Tyler Jordan said. “I’m a moral degenerate.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Quentin said, “I mean, relatively speaking I think you’re more upright than Kendall is.”
“That’s also true,” Tyler Jordan agreed.
“Yeah, I can’t argue,” Kendall said. “Where did you find this guy, TJ? I like him.”
“I’ll tell you when Dad’s not in the room,” Tyler Jordan said, and Harold sighed and dropped his head into his hands.
“You act like I haven’t overheard it before,” Harold said. “I’m not as deaf as you think I am, and you talk louder than you think you do. I’m hardly shocked by the story, either. Don’t hold back on my account.”
“We met in a bar,” Quentin said. “The night he broke up with Maria, he was drinking with a vengeance. He’d gotten punched in the face a few hours earlier and I came up to ask him how he got the black eye.”
“Half an hour after we met, we were trying to sail to Canada together,” Tyler Jordan said. “It was the most stupid and epic thing I’d ever done. We got picked up by the Coast Guard before we even got out of sight of the shoreline. It was like three in the morning when Paul came to pick me up, and I texted Quentin pretty much nonstop for the next couple of days.”
“I’d been planning on kicking my roommate out for weeks, when Tyler Jordan said he needed to find a new place to live I told him to get out and Tyler Jordan moved in before the week was over. With all his fish.”
“That was when I knew we’d be great friends. He helped me move my fish in,” Tyler Jordan said with a laugh. “He didn’t even bitch about the forty gallon tank. He was genuinely happy to have me there.”
“I was,” Quentin said, smiling at Tyler Jordan. “You were fun from the start.”
“I didn’t know how serious Quentin was for the first couple of months I knew him, I didn’t even have to try to make him smile. I had no idea how little he smiled when I wasn’t around.”
“He smiles a lot now,” Kendall said, and Tyler Jordan laced his fingers with Quentin’s.
“You have no idea the changes your brother wrought in me,” Quentin said. “I’m not the same person I was before I met him. And I couldn’t be happier about it.”
“You definitely look happy,” Wendy said. “The way you two look at each other is almost sickeningly sweet, and I’m a romantic.”
“You know, that’s a much less sordid version of the story than the one you told Paul,” Harold said. “But I’m glad that a night of poor judgment became what the two of you have now.”
“Oh, it was way more than one night of poor judgment,” Tyler Jordan said. “It was more like… what, we’ve known each other two and a half years? Like twenty months of nights of bad judgment spread out across thirty months.”
“Leave me with my illusions, please,” Harold sighed. “I’d rather not know about your shenanigans as long as I don’t have to come bail you out from them.”
“I think twenty months is overstating it slightly,” Quentin said. “Maybe like sixteen months.”
“Please,” Harold said, and Tyler Jordan laughed.
“All right, all right. Anyways. I loved him almost right away. It only took a few weeks for me to have feelings about him, but I had no idea how to make a move. And then one afternoon he kissed me and it was like…”
“Fireworks?” Olivia said.
“Rainbows?” Wendy said.
“No,” Tyler Jordan said. “Actually our first kiss was super awkward. But the second kiss was definitely fireworks. I’d never kissed anyone but Maria before that, but it wasn’t like kissing Maria at all.”
“I had such a crush on him at that point,” Quentin said. “Like, middle-school-pathetic levels of crushing. I wasn’t going to say anything about it but we were sitting on the couch and he was laughing and I just couldn’t stop myself from kissing him.”
“Aww,” Kendall said. “That’s adorable.”
“It was actually terrifying,” Quentin said. “I’d never kissed a guy before. I was so heavily invested in pretending I was straight that it was the scariest thing ever to let myself do something that wasn’t straight.” He glanced over at Tyler Jordan, shaking his head slightly. “I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t done it, though. Meeting Tyler Jordan, falling in love with him, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life.” Everyone was looking at Quentin and Tyler Jordan, so no one saw the pensive look that came over Harold at Quentin’s confession. “And it just keeps getting better,” he added. “If you’d told me two years ago that I’d marry him, I would have called you crazy.”
“Well, it was illegal until a few months ago,” Wendy pointed out.
“True. But that I’d take his name, too? Never would have believed you.”
“How does it feel to be a Graham?” Kendall asked. Quentin laughed.
“Well, I like all of you significantly more than I like my own siblings,” he said. “And it’s… it’s weird having a dependable and caring older male figure in my life,” he added, looking at Harold. “I’ve never had that before. It’s nice. I mean, you’ve always been so welcoming to me, even when Tyler Jordan and I had only just started dating.”
“I want my children to be happy, and it was obvious even that early on that you made him happy,” Harold said. “I expected Tyler Jordan to be the first of my children to marry, but I thought he was going to marry Maria. I never would have guessed that he’d marry a man. But honestly…” He paused, glancing at his son. “Maria didn’t want him as he was. She was always trying to change him. But you love him for exactly who he actually is.”
“That’s because I am a joy and a wonder,” Tyler Jordan said brightly, and Quentin leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Yup. You absolutely are.”
“Well, now you get to be part of our family traditions,” Olivia said. “I like our Thanksgiving traditions.”
“Yeah? What does that involve?”
“Before we leave the table everyone says what they’re thankful for,” Wendy said. “Then we go watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles while we eat dessert.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Quentin said. “I’m pretty much stuffed already.”
“Yeah, me too,” Theresa said, but she reached for the Riesling for one more glass.
“Time to be thankful, then,” Harold said. “I’m thankful to have so much of our family together today, and I’m thankful that Paul isn’t with us because he’s in his lovely new home with his fiance and not in Iraq.” He waved to his left, where Theresa was sitting.
“I’m thankful that Kendall is coming home,” she said. “And I’m thankful that my Etsy store is doing so well this year.”
“I’m thankful I’m coming home too,” Kendall said. “And I’m thankful that Theresa’s cooking gets better every year.”
“Hey, I helped in the kitchen too,” Olivia said. “It wasn’t all Theresa.”
“Then I’m thankful that Olivia’s cooking is getting better too.”
“I’m thankful to get some recognition around here,” Olivia said, and everyone laughed. “And I’m thankful that Dad is going to let me get piercings because he’s so wonderful and loves me so much.”
“Try again,” Harold said, and Olivia sighed.
“I’m thankful that I’m almost old enough to get my own piercings whether he wants me to or not.”
“Two more years,” Harold reminded her, and she stuck her tongue out at him.
“I’m thankful that my first semester of college is going so well,” Wendy said. “It’s going really well. I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made.”
“I’m, um…” Quentin looked around the table and smiled. “I’m thankful to be part of your family now. And I’m thankful for all the ways my life changed after Tyler Jordan came into it.”
“I’m thankful that Quentin was crazy enough to say yes when I asked him to marry me,” Tyler Jordan said, lacing their fingers together and squeezing Quentin’s hand. “I’m thankful that I can safely express my hopeless romantic tendencies toward the husband I adore.”
“You were expressing them safely enough when I was the boyfriend you adored,” Quentin pointed out.
“Yeah, but now you’re my husband. Which means I can be way more sappy.”
“Angel, you’ve been a total sap for the entire length of our relationship. If you were any more sappy you would be pure maple syrup.”
“Good thing you like maple syrup.”
“Get a room,” Kendall said, “Seriously, the dinner table is no place for the bedroom eyes you guys are giving each other.” Quentin flushed, but Tyler Jordan just grinned and stood up, tugging on Quentin’s hand.
“Fine, you guys watch the movie, I’m taking him upstairs to cuddle.”
“You can’t skip the tradition on his first year as a Graham,” Olivia said. “You can cuddle on the couch. Just keep it PG.”
“I can’t guarantee I can adhere to that,” Tyler Jordan said. “The lowest we can go is PG-13.”
“Behave,” Quentin said, swatting him, and Tyler Jordan grinned.
“Aren’t I usually the one telling you to behave?”
“I’m already on my best behavior right now.”
“True…” Tyler Jordan pulled Quentin out of the dining room, calling back, “We’ll get the movie set up, you guys take your time!” He lead Quentin out to the living room and caught his face between both hands, kissing him soundly. “I’m so fucking happy that you’re here,” he murmured.
“I’m so happy to be here.” Quentin tugged him over to the couch and cuddled up immediately with a happy sigh. “Wow, that is literally the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve ever had in my life. Your sister is a kitchen witch or something.”
“She prides herself on her homemaking abilities, but she has no desire to become a housewife,” Tyler Jordan said. “Figure that out.” He pulled a throw blanket off the back of the couch and tucked it around them, getting cozy.
“Well, your dad definitely lucked out, then, if she’s just going to live here and be a homemaker instead of going off and getting married.”
“No kidding. She’s been the domestic head of this household since she was sixteen.”
“Seriously? Wow.”
“Yeah.” Tyler Jordan carded his fingers through Quentin’s hair and kissed his forehead. “Maybe she should be the one giving you cooking lessons.”
“I’m not going to be your housewife,” Quentin said, and Tyler Jordan snorted.
“Wasn’t even attempting to suggest that,” he said. “Just she’s better in the kitchen than I’ll ever be. We could get her to give us both lessons. I know there’s cooking things I wish I could do.”
“You can ask her,” Quentin murmured. “I’m just gonna nap on you, okay?”
“No, you have to watch the movie,” Tyler Jordan said. “It’s tradition.”
“Then you can wake me up every time I fall asleep, because I’m sure as hell not staying awake of my own volition right now.” Quentin wiggled around until his head was on Tyler Jordan’s lap, curled on the couch. Tyler Jordan reached for the remote control to get Netflix pulled up on the TV, stroking Quentin’s hair with his free hand.
“Okay. You can close your eyes, it’ll take them a few more minutes to finish up in there,” Tyler Jordan said. “We’ll hang out here for a couple of hours, steal some leftovers, go home and fall into bed?”
“Mmhm,” Quentin agreed. “Lazy cuddle time.”
“Man, I can’t wait for you to find out about our Christmas traditions. You think Thanksgiving is good, just wait.”
“Should I be worried?”
“Yes. You absolutely should. We’re going to dress you up like an elf.”
“Only if you wear the reindeer antlers and I get to ride you around.”
“Not in front of my sisters,” Tyler Jordan said, “but you can ride me all night when we get home. You have to keep the pointy ears on though.”
“Whatever gets you off, angel,” Quentin laughed, turning his face into Tyler Jordan’s stomach. “Is that what you want for Christmas?”
“All I want for Christmas is you, baby,” Tyler Jordan sang, and Quentin poked his side and made him buckle with a squeak. “What’s wrong, not a Mariah fan?”
“Your falsetto needs work.”
“Oh, ouch. I thought you loved my singing.”
“I do love your singing, in your actual register. You have a beautiful voice. You can even do Gaga pretty well. But avoid Mariah.”
“Fair enough,” Tyler Jordan said. “But it’s true. You’re all I want for Christmas.”
“I really hope you want more than that, cause I need some present ideas.”
“Maybe you can intercept my letter to Santa. I know I’m on the nice list this year.”
“Bullshit! I know what you’ve been getting up to this year. You’d better hope I intercept that letter or all you’re getting is coal.”
“I’m not the one who tried to commit homicide this year,” Tyler Jordan pointed out.
“I know I’m on the naughty list. I’m always on the naughty list. I haven’t been on the nice list since I was seven years old.”
“You’re on my nice list.”
“No, I’m still on your naughty list. But it’s the fun naughty list. I’m a big, big fan of your naughty list.”
“Oh yeah? I’m sure I can add a few more things to the list for the holidays…” Tyler Jordan was leaning down for a kiss when Olivia barreled into the living room and dove onto the other couch. He grinned down at Quentin instead as the rest of his family followed her in.
“Is it set up?” Kendall asked.
“Yeah, yeah, sit down and I’ll hit play,” Tyler Jordan said, and Quentin rolled to face the TV as the movie started, but he reached for Tyler Jordan’s hand and tangled their fingers together as soon as he put the remote down. It barely took ten minutes for Quentin to nod off, and Tyler Jordan just let him sleep, wanting him to be rested for when they got home. He had plans, of course.
Characters: Quentin, Tyler Jordan, Harold, Kendall, Theresa, Wendy, and Olivia Graham
Rating: PG
Word count: 5285
Notes: This is going to be a three part series, if I can actually make myself do it. The Graham family does holidays very well, and Quentin gets folded into the family traditions as the first person to marry into the clan.
Timeline: November 26, 2015
“I’m kinda nervous about this. What if I stick my foot in my mouth?” Quentin said as they walked up to the front door of the Graham residence. “I don’t know how to be nice on the holidays.”
“Relax,” Tyler Jordan told him. “We’re so low key. Nobody’s going to argue about politics or religion or anything. Just be yourself, you can be so charming when you want to be. Seriously, this is just about eating too much food and being grateful.” He bumped his shoulder against Quentin’s. “And I have so much to be grateful for this year.”
“Yeah… okay. It’ll be fine,” Quentin said uncertainly. He clutched the pumpkin pie he was carrying a little tighter and followed Tyler Jordan into his family’s home. The air was full of tantalizing scents, and Olivia hopped up from the couch to come kiss her brother hello.
“TJ! Quentin! Hi!” She hugged Quentin next, and he gave Tyler Jordan a wide-eyed look over her shoulder. “You have good timing, the turkey’s about to come out of the oven.”
“We just came when Theresa told us to,” Tyler Jordan said, and he took the pie from Quentin and headed into the kitchen. “Kendall? What are you doing here?”
“Flew in yesterday,” Kendall said, and after a hug he held her at arm’s length to look her over. Since the last time he’d seen her in person she’d gotten her septum pierced, dyed candy-pink streaks into her hair, and there was the edge of a tattoo peeking over the collar of her sweater. “Had to meet the new family member,” she added, and hit his shoulder. “Since you fucking got married in secret, what the hell was that about?”
“That was my fault,” Quentin said, leaning against Tyler Jordan as soon as Tyler Jordan put the pie on the kitchen counter. “If it makes you feel any better, we had your family as witnesses, my family didn’t even find out about it until we changed our relationship status on Facebook.”
“That doesn’t actually make me feel better,” she said, eyeing him critically before stepping in to hug him. “That just makes me wonder what your problem is.”
“Rude,” Wendy said, “At least say hello before you poke his insecurities. Hi Quentin, please tell me you weren’t involved in baking this pie. See? That’s how you do it.”
“The pie was all Tyler Jordan,” Quentin said, “and I feel very attacked right now.”
“That’s because my sisters are bitches,” Theresa said. “Hi guys.” She didn’t turn around from where she was sticking a meat thermometer in the turkey. “I hope you’re hungry cause I might have gone a teensy bit overboard this year.”
“Good, the crazier you go, the more leftovers we get to take home,” Tyler Jordan said. “Also can everyone not immediately disprove the reassurances I just gave my husband?”
“Still not as bad as Thanksgiving with my family,” Quentin said. “They don’t know me well enough to get really personal.”
“I was mostly joking,” Kendall said. “I’ll be nice. Hi, Quentin, it’s nice to finally meet you in person. I’m the interesting sister.”
“Rude,” Wendy said again. “You mean you’re the crazy sister.”
“I’m the crazy interesting sister. You’re the crazy woo-woo sister. Theresa is the crazy cat lady sister.”
“I’m the normal sister,” Olivia said, coming in behind them with a fat black and white cat in her arms. “For a given value of normal.” The cat meowed and she scratched its tummy.
“Hey, I’m not the one who brought the cats home,” Theresa said, putting the turkey back into the oven. “Paul is the crazy cat lady brother. The bird needs ten more minutes, and then twenty to settle before we can carve it. Did someone set the table?”
“I did,” Wendy said, but she went to the silverware drawer to grab a handful of forks and knives and go into the dining room.
“Where’s Dad?” Tyler Jordan asked.
“He’s downstairs,” Theresa said. “Looking for your baby photos to embarrass you with.”
“Please, I’m not embarrassed by my baby photos, I was fucking adorable,” Tyler Jordan said with a roll of his eyes. “I’m just worried that seeing my cute little baby cheeks will give Quentin baby rabies and he’ll start looking for a surrogate behind my back.” Quentin snorted. “Is he downstairs for real?”
“Yeah, go down there and help him bring the drinks up,” Kendall said.
“Why didn’t you go down and help him?” Tyler Jordan asked.
“Because I’m vital up here, obviously,” she said. Quentin shook his head and went for the basement stairs, leaving Kendall and Tyler Jordan sniping playfully at each other behind him.
“Hello? Mr. Graham?” he called as he went down, and he heard a laugh before he saw the man.
“Quentin, please, you don’t have to be so formal.” Harold was standing in front of a wine rack, a bottle in each hand, and he turned to smile at Quentin. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you that you can call me Harold. You can even call me Dad if you want to, I am your father-in-law now.”
“I don’t call anyone Dad,” Quentin said. “I mean, I never have in my life. It would take some getting used to. Sorry, I don’t mean to be… distant or whatever.”
“You’re not distant, I just want you to be comfortable here,” Harold said. “I’m glad that you’re part of my family now. I’m sure Tyler Jordan’s told you how important family is to us.”
“It’s pretty obvious,” Quentin said, and he took both the wine bottles when Harold handed them to him. “You’re very tight-knit. It’s not something I’m accustomed to at all.”
“Well, I hope you will get accustomed to it.” There was another refrigerator next to a chest freezer down here, and Harold pulled a gallon of apple cider from it. “We’re big on holidays. I hope it’s not overwhelming.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Quentin said, and he headed back upstairs only to have Tyler Jordan kiss him soundly as soon as he made it past the door.
“My favorite person and my favorite wine, couldn’t be better.” He liberated the Pinot Noir from Quentin’s grasp, and Quentin rolled his eyes and put the Riesling on the counter by the pie.
“You know, you’re the only person he’s ever brought home for Thanksgiving,” Theresa said.
“Maria’s family always did dinner at the same time we did,” Tyler Jordan said, and Theresa rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, but you spent one year with her family instead of with us. She never agreed to come here for the meal. Total red flag.”
“Yeah, yeah, the last like four years I was with her was a total red flag, shut up about it,” he sighed. “Can we maybe not remind me how much of an idiot I was for so long? I came pretty close to ruining my life but I didn’t actually do it.”
“Don’t worry, if anyone is going to ruin your life now it’s me,” Quentin said. “I’ll prevent you from ruining it yourself.”
“I think you’re wildly overestimating your ability to do that,” Kendall said. “Or wildly underestimating his ability to ruin it. Or both.”
“Jesus, you got mean living in Germany,” Tyler Jordan said. “What the hell did they do to you over there?”
“What does anyone do in Germany?” she asked. “Film a lot of kinky dungeon porn, mostly.”
“Kendall,” Harold said, sounding shocked, and Kendall laughed. “Please tell me that’s a joke.”
“Sure, Dad, it’s a joke,” she said, not sounding terribly convincing. Tyler Jordan and Harold had identical squicked-out expressions on their faces. “Oh my god, chill out. I’m not a porn star.”
“She’s lying,” Theresa said. “Jonathan sent me a link asking me when I started doing porn. Thanks for making me explain that to my friend, by the way. I really appreciate my identical twin strutting around in a strapon on a niche kink site. That’s not awkward at all for me.”
“Can you not,” Tyler Jordan said. Harold looked like he wished someone would kill him.
“You guys are so easy,” Theresa said, and fistbumped Kendall. “Twins one, family zero.”
“You know, I suddenly don’t feel like the weirdest person in this room, so thanks for that,” Quentin said. “I’m not sure whether the two of you are hilarious or creepy.”
“Oh, we’re definitely both,” Kendall said. “You have no idea cause you’ve only seen Theresa on her own before now. We’re unstoppable together. And, uh, we’re going to be together a lot more pretty soon.”
“What?” Harold asked.
“I’m coming home at the end of the year. Europe is getting kind of… iffy, these days. I’m thinking probably being on this continent is the safer choice to make before fucking World War Three breaks out or whatever the hell is going to happen with all the crazy shit going down now.”
“Language,” Harold said reflexively, and then, “Really? That’s cautious of you.”
“What happened in Paris could happen in Berlin,” she said. “And I’m not sticking around to get shot or blown up or kidnapped or anything else. I’d rather get drive-by shot in Detroit than terrorist shot in Dusseldorf.” She shook her head. “I’m almost done with my degree anyways. I can take my last twelve credits somewhere in the US.”
“Good, this house is feeling empty with Paul and Wendy both out of it. Come home and keep me company,” Theresa said. She stuck the meat thermometer in the turkey again, then moved it to the top of the stove. “Okay, help me get the side dishes to the table before I carve this.”
Between the seven of them, they got the table decked out in short order. Theresa hadn’t been kidding when she said she’d outdone herself-- to go with the twenty pound turkey there were two kinds of stuffing, two kinds of mashed potatoes, baked mac and cheese, fresh green beans and corn and peas, roasted squash, sweet potato souffle, two kinds of cranberry sauce, a fresh salad with tomatoes and avocado, a plate of olives and pickles, a whole basket of rolls, and enough gravy to drown a cat in. Aside from the pumpkin pie Tyler Jordan had made, there was also an apple pie, a pecan pie, and a chocolate cherry piecaken.
“The Graham family does not fuck around when it comes to Thanksgiving,” Quentin said, after everyone had loaded their plates.
“Language,” Harold said, and then covered his face with one hand. “I’m sorry, Quentin, you’re not my child.”
“I’m sorry I don’t even realize when I’m swearing,” Quentin said. “My mother never even attempted not to swear in front of us. I’m pretty sure the third word I said was a swear word.”
“Really? Which one?” Olivia asked.
“I’m not going to say it in front of your father,” Quentin said, flushing slightly. “One of the worse ones.”
“That’s crazy, I didn’t even hear a curse word in English until I was like twelve years old,” Kendall said. “Let alone before I even knew how to speak.”
“I could make a list of ways my upbringing and your upbringing were different, but it would be much easier and shorter to list the ways they were the same.” Quentin shook his head. “They weren’t the same. At all.”
“That’s exaggerating slightly,” Tyler Jordan said. “We were both raised by single parents.”
“You at least had two parents for some part of your childhood. I never had anything like a father figure at all. It was just Mom and Grandma. And you were all wanted,” Quentin said, and the flush darkened and he reached for his wine glass. “And I’m not ruining Thanksgiving with my pathetic backstory, sorry, someone change the topic of conversation please.” Tyler Jordan reached over and squeezed Quentin’s knee gently, and Quentin shook his head and tangled their fingers together briefly.
“I’m trying to figure out what to do with all my stuff in Germany before I come home,” Kendall said. “Most of the furniture I’m just going to donate, but I have way more clothes than I can fit in two suitcases and I really like most of them.”
“Well, you brought some of it home this time, right?” Theresa asked. “You didn’t just squander this opportunity, did you?”
“Hell no I didn’t,” Kendall said, “I’m leaving everything I brought except the clothes I’m flying back in and my empty suitcases. I still have more than I can fit. And I have to sell most of my electronics because I’m not buying an adapter. But I don’t want to sell all the art I made while I was there. I’m going to give some of it to my friends but I want to bring a lot of it home.”
“So mail it back here,” Harold said. “It’s cheaper to pay for international shipping than for additional bags on an airplane.”
“True. And international shipping ain’t cheap,” Kendall said. “I should probably put the art in my suitcase and mail the clothes.” A very insistent meow sounded from under the table, and Kendall held a piece of turkey down for the cat. A few more meows immediately happened, and Theresa sighed and broke off a couple more pieces for the other cats.
“Bring me back some German wine,” Theresa said. “I want like three bottles of the best Riesling you can find.”
“I’ll bring you back some Stollen and Pfefferkuchen too,” Kendall said. “Since the Christmas markets will definitely be running before I come back.”
“I want chocolate,” Olivia said. “A lot of chocolate.”
“Any other requests?” Kendall sighed.
“The weirdest liquor they don’t export,” Tyler Jordan said. “Something I’ve never even heard of before.”
“I just want you to come home safely,” Harold said, “before Christmas, without any new piercings or tattoos.”
“Dad,” Kendall whined. “Come on, I was going to get like six facial piercings because I know how much you love them!”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Harold said. “I never know if you’re being serious or just messing with me, but I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Well, I was going to get snake bites,” she said. “But they can wait until next year, I guess.”
“I don’t know what that is but I already don’t like it.”
“I think we should all get snake bites,” Tyler Jordan said. “All six of us. We can make Paul do it too.”
“That’s pretty gay,” Quentin said, and Tyler Jordan batted his eyes at him.
“Well, good thing we’re queer as hell, huh?”
“You realize all the things you can’t do with fresh lip piercings, right?”
“Nevermind,” Tyler Jordan said immediately. “I changed my mind.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Quentin said with a smirk, and Harold sighed and reached for the bottle of Pinot Noir to pour himself a very full glass. “You shouldn’t put holes in your face anyways. Your face is perfect.”
“Aw, lemon drop.” Tyler Jordan curled his foot around Quentin’s ankle and beamed at him. “I think they’d look good though.”
“I want snake bites,” Olivia said.
“I thought you wanted a nose ring,” Harold said.
“It doesn’t matter, you won’t let me get any of them,” she sighed.
“Not until you’re eighteen.”
“Theresa has to get a tattoo before I can get one,” Wendy said. “We have to go in order. Kendall had to wait for Tyler Jordan to get one.”
“I didn’t have to,” Kendall said. “That’s just how it happened.”
“I don’t want a tattoo,” Theresa said. “That’s not my style.”
“Come on, you could get a totally cute little ball of yarn. I’m not saying you have to get like an entire sleeve, just something.”
“No way. Get one now, cause if you wait for me you’re never going to get one.”
“Come on, don’t break the chain.”
“Not happening.”
“Don’t bully your sister into body art she doesn’t want,” Harold said. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t get any either.”
“It’s almost adorable how much of a stick in the mud you are, Dad,” Kendall said. “What part of raising a bunch of free-thinking atheists made you think we wouldn’t be inclined toward body modification?”
“Irrational optimism,” Harold said.
“Which most of us inherited from you,” Tyler Jordan added. “Hey, I know, we should take you to get a tattoo. Fifty-five isn’t too old.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You should totally do it! Get a line of binary code, that would be awesome,” Wendy said.
“No.”
“How about an anchor? Since you grew up on the coast,” Kendall suggested. “That’s totally badass.”
“No, he should get a whale,” Olivia said.
“I’m not getting anything!” Harold said. “I will ground all of you if you don’t drop this.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Theresa said.
“I’ve never had to ground you in your entire life,” Harold said. “You’re my good child.”
“Hey,” Tyler Jordan, Wendy, and Olivia all said. Kendall just shrugged.
“Don’t act offended at that,” Quentin said. “You know you’re not the good child.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Tyler Jordan said. “I’m a moral degenerate.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Quentin said, “I mean, relatively speaking I think you’re more upright than Kendall is.”
“That’s also true,” Tyler Jordan agreed.
“Yeah, I can’t argue,” Kendall said. “Where did you find this guy, TJ? I like him.”
“I’ll tell you when Dad’s not in the room,” Tyler Jordan said, and Harold sighed and dropped his head into his hands.
“You act like I haven’t overheard it before,” Harold said. “I’m not as deaf as you think I am, and you talk louder than you think you do. I’m hardly shocked by the story, either. Don’t hold back on my account.”
“We met in a bar,” Quentin said. “The night he broke up with Maria, he was drinking with a vengeance. He’d gotten punched in the face a few hours earlier and I came up to ask him how he got the black eye.”
“Half an hour after we met, we were trying to sail to Canada together,” Tyler Jordan said. “It was the most stupid and epic thing I’d ever done. We got picked up by the Coast Guard before we even got out of sight of the shoreline. It was like three in the morning when Paul came to pick me up, and I texted Quentin pretty much nonstop for the next couple of days.”
“I’d been planning on kicking my roommate out for weeks, when Tyler Jordan said he needed to find a new place to live I told him to get out and Tyler Jordan moved in before the week was over. With all his fish.”
“That was when I knew we’d be great friends. He helped me move my fish in,” Tyler Jordan said with a laugh. “He didn’t even bitch about the forty gallon tank. He was genuinely happy to have me there.”
“I was,” Quentin said, smiling at Tyler Jordan. “You were fun from the start.”
“I didn’t know how serious Quentin was for the first couple of months I knew him, I didn’t even have to try to make him smile. I had no idea how little he smiled when I wasn’t around.”
“He smiles a lot now,” Kendall said, and Tyler Jordan laced his fingers with Quentin’s.
“You have no idea the changes your brother wrought in me,” Quentin said. “I’m not the same person I was before I met him. And I couldn’t be happier about it.”
“You definitely look happy,” Wendy said. “The way you two look at each other is almost sickeningly sweet, and I’m a romantic.”
“You know, that’s a much less sordid version of the story than the one you told Paul,” Harold said. “But I’m glad that a night of poor judgment became what the two of you have now.”
“Oh, it was way more than one night of poor judgment,” Tyler Jordan said. “It was more like… what, we’ve known each other two and a half years? Like twenty months of nights of bad judgment spread out across thirty months.”
“Leave me with my illusions, please,” Harold sighed. “I’d rather not know about your shenanigans as long as I don’t have to come bail you out from them.”
“I think twenty months is overstating it slightly,” Quentin said. “Maybe like sixteen months.”
“Please,” Harold said, and Tyler Jordan laughed.
“All right, all right. Anyways. I loved him almost right away. It only took a few weeks for me to have feelings about him, but I had no idea how to make a move. And then one afternoon he kissed me and it was like…”
“Fireworks?” Olivia said.
“Rainbows?” Wendy said.
“No,” Tyler Jordan said. “Actually our first kiss was super awkward. But the second kiss was definitely fireworks. I’d never kissed anyone but Maria before that, but it wasn’t like kissing Maria at all.”
“I had such a crush on him at that point,” Quentin said. “Like, middle-school-pathetic levels of crushing. I wasn’t going to say anything about it but we were sitting on the couch and he was laughing and I just couldn’t stop myself from kissing him.”
“Aww,” Kendall said. “That’s adorable.”
“It was actually terrifying,” Quentin said. “I’d never kissed a guy before. I was so heavily invested in pretending I was straight that it was the scariest thing ever to let myself do something that wasn’t straight.” He glanced over at Tyler Jordan, shaking his head slightly. “I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t done it, though. Meeting Tyler Jordan, falling in love with him, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life.” Everyone was looking at Quentin and Tyler Jordan, so no one saw the pensive look that came over Harold at Quentin’s confession. “And it just keeps getting better,” he added. “If you’d told me two years ago that I’d marry him, I would have called you crazy.”
“Well, it was illegal until a few months ago,” Wendy pointed out.
“True. But that I’d take his name, too? Never would have believed you.”
“How does it feel to be a Graham?” Kendall asked. Quentin laughed.
“Well, I like all of you significantly more than I like my own siblings,” he said. “And it’s… it’s weird having a dependable and caring older male figure in my life,” he added, looking at Harold. “I’ve never had that before. It’s nice. I mean, you’ve always been so welcoming to me, even when Tyler Jordan and I had only just started dating.”
“I want my children to be happy, and it was obvious even that early on that you made him happy,” Harold said. “I expected Tyler Jordan to be the first of my children to marry, but I thought he was going to marry Maria. I never would have guessed that he’d marry a man. But honestly…” He paused, glancing at his son. “Maria didn’t want him as he was. She was always trying to change him. But you love him for exactly who he actually is.”
“That’s because I am a joy and a wonder,” Tyler Jordan said brightly, and Quentin leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Yup. You absolutely are.”
“Well, now you get to be part of our family traditions,” Olivia said. “I like our Thanksgiving traditions.”
“Yeah? What does that involve?”
“Before we leave the table everyone says what they’re thankful for,” Wendy said. “Then we go watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles while we eat dessert.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Quentin said. “I’m pretty much stuffed already.”
“Yeah, me too,” Theresa said, but she reached for the Riesling for one more glass.
“Time to be thankful, then,” Harold said. “I’m thankful to have so much of our family together today, and I’m thankful that Paul isn’t with us because he’s in his lovely new home with his fiance and not in Iraq.” He waved to his left, where Theresa was sitting.
“I’m thankful that Kendall is coming home,” she said. “And I’m thankful that my Etsy store is doing so well this year.”
“I’m thankful I’m coming home too,” Kendall said. “And I’m thankful that Theresa’s cooking gets better every year.”
“Hey, I helped in the kitchen too,” Olivia said. “It wasn’t all Theresa.”
“Then I’m thankful that Olivia’s cooking is getting better too.”
“I’m thankful to get some recognition around here,” Olivia said, and everyone laughed. “And I’m thankful that Dad is going to let me get piercings because he’s so wonderful and loves me so much.”
“Try again,” Harold said, and Olivia sighed.
“I’m thankful that I’m almost old enough to get my own piercings whether he wants me to or not.”
“Two more years,” Harold reminded her, and she stuck her tongue out at him.
“I’m thankful that my first semester of college is going so well,” Wendy said. “It’s going really well. I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made.”
“I’m, um…” Quentin looked around the table and smiled. “I’m thankful to be part of your family now. And I’m thankful for all the ways my life changed after Tyler Jordan came into it.”
“I’m thankful that Quentin was crazy enough to say yes when I asked him to marry me,” Tyler Jordan said, lacing their fingers together and squeezing Quentin’s hand. “I’m thankful that I can safely express my hopeless romantic tendencies toward the husband I adore.”
“You were expressing them safely enough when I was the boyfriend you adored,” Quentin pointed out.
“Yeah, but now you’re my husband. Which means I can be way more sappy.”
“Angel, you’ve been a total sap for the entire length of our relationship. If you were any more sappy you would be pure maple syrup.”
“Good thing you like maple syrup.”
“Get a room,” Kendall said, “Seriously, the dinner table is no place for the bedroom eyes you guys are giving each other.” Quentin flushed, but Tyler Jordan just grinned and stood up, tugging on Quentin’s hand.
“Fine, you guys watch the movie, I’m taking him upstairs to cuddle.”
“You can’t skip the tradition on his first year as a Graham,” Olivia said. “You can cuddle on the couch. Just keep it PG.”
“I can’t guarantee I can adhere to that,” Tyler Jordan said. “The lowest we can go is PG-13.”
“Behave,” Quentin said, swatting him, and Tyler Jordan grinned.
“Aren’t I usually the one telling you to behave?”
“I’m already on my best behavior right now.”
“True…” Tyler Jordan pulled Quentin out of the dining room, calling back, “We’ll get the movie set up, you guys take your time!” He lead Quentin out to the living room and caught his face between both hands, kissing him soundly. “I’m so fucking happy that you’re here,” he murmured.
“I’m so happy to be here.” Quentin tugged him over to the couch and cuddled up immediately with a happy sigh. “Wow, that is literally the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve ever had in my life. Your sister is a kitchen witch or something.”
“She prides herself on her homemaking abilities, but she has no desire to become a housewife,” Tyler Jordan said. “Figure that out.” He pulled a throw blanket off the back of the couch and tucked it around them, getting cozy.
“Well, your dad definitely lucked out, then, if she’s just going to live here and be a homemaker instead of going off and getting married.”
“No kidding. She’s been the domestic head of this household since she was sixteen.”
“Seriously? Wow.”
“Yeah.” Tyler Jordan carded his fingers through Quentin’s hair and kissed his forehead. “Maybe she should be the one giving you cooking lessons.”
“I’m not going to be your housewife,” Quentin said, and Tyler Jordan snorted.
“Wasn’t even attempting to suggest that,” he said. “Just she’s better in the kitchen than I’ll ever be. We could get her to give us both lessons. I know there’s cooking things I wish I could do.”
“You can ask her,” Quentin murmured. “I’m just gonna nap on you, okay?”
“No, you have to watch the movie,” Tyler Jordan said. “It’s tradition.”
“Then you can wake me up every time I fall asleep, because I’m sure as hell not staying awake of my own volition right now.” Quentin wiggled around until his head was on Tyler Jordan’s lap, curled on the couch. Tyler Jordan reached for the remote control to get Netflix pulled up on the TV, stroking Quentin’s hair with his free hand.
“Okay. You can close your eyes, it’ll take them a few more minutes to finish up in there,” Tyler Jordan said. “We’ll hang out here for a couple of hours, steal some leftovers, go home and fall into bed?”
“Mmhm,” Quentin agreed. “Lazy cuddle time.”
“Man, I can’t wait for you to find out about our Christmas traditions. You think Thanksgiving is good, just wait.”
“Should I be worried?”
“Yes. You absolutely should. We’re going to dress you up like an elf.”
“Only if you wear the reindeer antlers and I get to ride you around.”
“Not in front of my sisters,” Tyler Jordan said, “but you can ride me all night when we get home. You have to keep the pointy ears on though.”
“Whatever gets you off, angel,” Quentin laughed, turning his face into Tyler Jordan’s stomach. “Is that what you want for Christmas?”
“All I want for Christmas is you, baby,” Tyler Jordan sang, and Quentin poked his side and made him buckle with a squeak. “What’s wrong, not a Mariah fan?”
“Your falsetto needs work.”
“Oh, ouch. I thought you loved my singing.”
“I do love your singing, in your actual register. You have a beautiful voice. You can even do Gaga pretty well. But avoid Mariah.”
“Fair enough,” Tyler Jordan said. “But it’s true. You’re all I want for Christmas.”
“I really hope you want more than that, cause I need some present ideas.”
“Maybe you can intercept my letter to Santa. I know I’m on the nice list this year.”
“Bullshit! I know what you’ve been getting up to this year. You’d better hope I intercept that letter or all you’re getting is coal.”
“I’m not the one who tried to commit homicide this year,” Tyler Jordan pointed out.
“I know I’m on the naughty list. I’m always on the naughty list. I haven’t been on the nice list since I was seven years old.”
“You’re on my nice list.”
“No, I’m still on your naughty list. But it’s the fun naughty list. I’m a big, big fan of your naughty list.”
“Oh yeah? I’m sure I can add a few more things to the list for the holidays…” Tyler Jordan was leaning down for a kiss when Olivia barreled into the living room and dove onto the other couch. He grinned down at Quentin instead as the rest of his family followed her in.
“Is it set up?” Kendall asked.
“Yeah, yeah, sit down and I’ll hit play,” Tyler Jordan said, and Quentin rolled to face the TV as the movie started, but he reached for Tyler Jordan’s hand and tangled their fingers together as soon as he put the remote down. It barely took ten minutes for Quentin to nod off, and Tyler Jordan just let him sleep, wanting him to be rested for when they got home. He had plans, of course.